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[MBTI General] ESFJ/INTP

Costrin

rawr
Joined
Nov 1, 2008
Messages
2,320
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
5w4
I think as long as they don't expect the other person to change to be more like them, they can be highly complementary and appreciative of the other's strengths.
 

Chris1973

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
5
MBTI Type
INTP
I think as long as they don't expect the other person to change to be more like them, they can be highly complementary and appreciative of the other's strengths.

I started a marriage thread on this. My wife's ESFJ. I hope you are right.
 

Blank

.
Joined
Mar 10, 2009
Messages
1,201
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
My sister is ESFJ.

I can't stand her.
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
My father is INTP and i have a lot of respect for him.

It is hard for me to start conversations on here with this type as they don't help push forward the chit chat. I am more a face to face person though.

I did find however being on Vent last night that i was more relaxed just talking to people and not knowing their type. I think as soon as you type someone, it just puts extra barriers in the way.

I don't know.
 

Costrin

rawr
Joined
Nov 1, 2008
Messages
2,320
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
5w4
It is hard for me to start conversations on here with this type as they don't help push forward the chit chat. I am more a face to face person though.

Course sometimes I just forget to reply....

>_>
<_<
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
My mother is ESFJ. We really are about as opposite as you can be. I can make her laugh hysterically and we do have some fun times when we're both in our carefree mode, but there seem to be a lot of things that are difficult for us to understand about each other. We just don't think about things the same way at all. Many, many times I have had to say, "I hate to do this, but I'm just done with this conversation. We're going to have to agree to disagree. You are my mom and I value your opinion, but we couldn't be further apart on this."

Example: In her eyes, I'm supposed to get a "good job" (whatever that means), work my way up the corporate ladder, marry a woman that is the same race as my family, who does not have "issues" or "tatoos", and make good money. Also, whenever an event is coming up in the family, I'm supposed to be FINISHED with all the preparation for that event about 2 weeks before it happens or else I'm being lazy and irresponsible and I don't care about the things that are important in life.

I love her - she's my mom. But, ESFJ's can, at times, be VERY difficult for an INTP to get along with.
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Think you hit the nail on the head there. 'Carefree'. I found when things are of a playful nature, then i love you guys. The moment it gets all serious, we both might as well just bang your heads against the wall.

It is funny though how one letter can make so much difference. My kid is ENTP and he knows he is super smart with a huge ego (don't you love kids) and now i don't stress. Yes he does everything at the last minute, super messy kid, hopefully he will get his shit together, dry sense of humour. Its just mutual respect.
We have read up on each other so we know roughly what to expect and how to approach the other.
It's all good.
 

Chris1973

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
5
MBTI Type
INTP
Yup, when things are light between an ESFJ and an INTP, it's a LOT of fun. My ESFJ wife was the best first date I ever had, and we easily slid into a serious relationship.

It's the problems and stresses of building a life together that have undermined that by forcing us to solve problems, and we do that in VERY different ways.
 

souffle

New member
Joined
Apr 9, 2009
Messages
124
MBTI Type
INFP
My female ESFJ friend started dating an INTP guy earlier this year.

It ended badly. ESFJ got hurt by his lack of emotions, she blew up at him about it, and he got intimidated I think and chose to end it.

Both teenagers, btw.
 

Gewitter27

New member
Joined
Jun 19, 2009
Messages
651
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
INTP: *Suicides*

ESFJ: Oh my, it is dead! *Surprised*
 

Blank

.
Joined
Mar 10, 2009
Messages
1,201
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
INTP: *Suicides*

ESFJ: Oh my, it is dead! *Surprised*

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

ESFJ: Remember we have to go to the fair at noon, visit my family at four, go out to dinner with my friends at seven, and then drop off the movies at the redbox and come home and clean.

INTP: Or we could visit your family first and then head to the fair since it's closer to Olive Gar...

ESFJ: No, we're going to the fair at noon, visiting my family at four, etc.

*INTP suicides.*

ESFJ: Why do you have to be so weird?
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
^^^ :cry: .. Seriously, you really think it's that bad.

If you can show me a quicker way to get all the crap done, then i am going to take up the offer. I would rather be curled up on the sofa with my man than traipsing around doing stuff for others and all that obligation rubbish.
Blahhhh. :yes:

EDIT - You lot are not weird .. You are quirky. I personally think quirky is cool.
 

Blank

.
Joined
Mar 10, 2009
Messages
1,201
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Insert analogy about acceptance here.
 

Kaizer

sophiloist
Joined
Aug 20, 2008
Messages
795
MBTI Type
INTp
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
^^^ :cry: .. Seriously, you really think it's that bad.

If you can show me a quicker way to get all the crap done, then i am going to take up the offer. I would rather be curled up on the sofa with my man than traipsing around doing stuff for others and all that obligation rubbish.
Blahhhh. :yes:

EDIT - You lot are not weird .. You are quirky. I personally think quirky is cool.

We'd be pretty wrong to presume that the kind & amount of balance and maturity you have exists across the board with XSFJs.
 

FlamingMask

New member
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
78
MBTI Type
INTp
It think the combination is definitely easier to deal with if neither is too extreme (meaning 90% E,S,F, and J and/or 90% I,N,T, and P).
 
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