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Thread: T love

  1. #1
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Default T love

    i don't get it.

    i'm specifically thinking of the triangular theory of love and the category of PASSION. magnetic attraction. the explosive pulling force.

    for F predominants it's holism, it's self-to-self, it's connecting and communicating your self-identifications, who you are, your holistic web of values/evaluations. beliefs built on faith, on the overwhelming harmony of values, etc. it's a shot in the arm to the system, an intoxicating drug, it pervades into the whole system and just makes you resonate hard with giddiness. it makes you want to get closer, communicate everything, desire the whole of the other, you stop seeing them as individual parts and assemblages of pieced togetherness and their whole system becomes part of your own, a new need.

    for T predominants i can't tell what it is. i think it's partly a competitiveness. a challenge. a desire to play a game, an insatiable appetite. it seems like the best game you've ever played, the greatest performance, the sense of accomplishment together, etc.

    F and T types sometimes find great balance in relationships by providing extra fortification for each other's weaknesses. but i want to know what activates their desire. how they want, how they perceive wanting, why they go crazy over another.

    i'm just tossing out ideas. show me more.

  2. #2
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    i don't get it.

    i'm specifically thinking of the triangular theory of love and the category of PASSION. magnetic attraction. the explosive pulling force.

    for F predominants it's holism, it's self-to-self, it's connecting and communicating your self-identifications, who you are, your holistic web of values/evaluations. beliefs built on faith, on the overwhelming harmony of values, etc. it's a shot in the arm to the system, an intoxicating drug, it pervades into the whole system and just makes you resonate hard with giddiness. it makes you want to get closer, communicate everything, desire the whole of the other, you stop seeing them as individual parts and assemblages of pieced togetherness and their whole system becomes part of your own, a new need.

    for T predominants i can't tell what it is. i think it's partly a competitiveness. a challenge. a desire to play a game, an insatiable appetite. it seems like the best game you've ever played, the greatest performance, the sense of accomplishment together, etc.

    F and T types sometimes find great balance in relationships by providing extra fortification for each other's weaknesses. but i want to know what activates their desire. how they want, how they perceive wanting, why they go crazy over another.

    i'm just tossing out ideas. show me more.

    You're confusing F with N. Most of what you describe as "F predominant" is actually N predominant. NTs will identify with the vast majority of it.

    I think it's really just the combination of Sensing and Thinking that you don't understand, and I'm not really qualified to describe firsthand what love means to STs.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  3. #3
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Default

    my categories as written are very poor. regardless,

    T is still linear, objective, and impersonal.
    F is still holistic, subjective, and personal.

    i can sense a great difference in the perception of love for F and T types (i AM specifically talking iNtuitives).

    what is this perspective of passion for T types, and what disconnect do you see in the way that nf and nt types imagine and articulate their self-understandings and experiences of love? when you want someone in particular so much that you do not see anyone else?

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    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    perhaps muddying the waters, my entp friend and i often talk about our experiences with love. we're still Fe and not Fi. we anticipate, respond, and communicate well. but we don't store the individual resonances as strongly, we always have a desire to CONNECT ANEW and create it between us and others, we can't savor it and feel it internally like Fi types.

    but what actually grounds us is Ti. it is what makes us know this is worth it more than other situations. and this is how i feel in relationships, that it's my Ti that makes my best decisions.

    but i am confused right now bc at times my Fe just goes crazy in a way that is less apparent in my entp friends. it just needs to connect otherwise i feel like i stop waking up. i start to sleepwalk. i think i need Fi to feed me more and more, and i don't know how T types combat this and how their perspective is different. what elicits intense passionate focus on another, total desire, etc. bc for me, my functions seem to be producing lots of split decisions, never a unanimous victory or a K.O.

    i am perhaps trying to better understand perspectives on passion (magnetic pull to one person!) that i am not seeing. where blockages could be for individual types and why they don't have the letting go this is what i want/need experience as easily as others.

    i need to combat my jaded, really? my my what lofty expectations you have kind of voice in my head. passion means something different to ESP than it does to Se inferior INJ. but it still means something crucial, and i need to understand this better.

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    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    what elicits intense passionate focus on another, total desire

    I can achieve passionate focus on anyone or anything in short bursts. Often, it's just about a need being fulfilled ... their need or mine or both.


    But a sustained passion? What makes me passionate is a mystery to me; I can't think my way into it rationally. It's either there or it's not and I try not to analyze it. But I do think my T is what keeps me passionate. I desire human puzzles.

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    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    we don't store the individual resonances as strongly, we always have a desire to CONNECT ANEW and create it between us and others, we can't savor it and feel it internally like Fi types.
    i need to combat my jaded, really? my my what lofty expectations you have kind of voice in my head. passion means something different to ESP than it does to Se inferior INJ. but it still means something crucial, and i need to understand this better.
    My understanding of individual functions is limited, and I don't really understand what you mean by savoring connections internally like Fi types (or do you mean Fi-doms?) compared to creating new connections. I'm just kind of lost on that, so I wonder if there is a different way to explain it, or an example you could give.

    I think I understand what you mean in the second part, but are you referring to physical passion (which would be Se) or emotional passion (which I don't think would be Se even for people with high use of it)?

    I think for me passion is rooted in Te/Fi. When I'm really crazy about someone I tend to have kind of a nostalgic attachment to them. Also it usually only happens when I can't understand them or predict their actions. It's unusual for me to know a person for a long time and not have a pretty good map of their mind, so when I do meet someone that complex...I don't know, they remain fascinating, and I remain infatuated
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

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    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    perhaps muddying the waters, my entp friend and i often talk about our experiences with love. we're still Fe and not Fi. we anticipate, respond, and communicate well. but we don't store the individual resonances as strongly, we always have a desire to CONNECT ANEW and create it between us and others, we can't savor it and feel it internally like Fi types.
    I recognise that CONNECT ANEW thing. I get the same vibe being around ENFPs I know. Actually, it feels more lifelike than the business of savoring internally. If one--this one, that is, me, thus far in this life--sits too long with Fi, it sours.

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    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    eventually Te just overpowers it and claims functionally speaking it is mostly wasteful?

    why is it difficult for intj to manage its Fi world and keep it healthy while still attending to Ni and Te spaces for thinking? savoring works, in part, bc it is a way of introducing positive thinking and reinterpreted past experiences that were negative in a slightly sunnier outlook. Te just doesn't have time to attend to those childlike fantasies and whims, when there is real work to be done and logical thinking gets it done on a more consistent basis?

  9. #9
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlahBlahNounBlah View Post
    But a sustained passion? What makes me passionate is a mystery to me; I can't think my way into it rationally. It's either there or it's not and I try not to analyze it. But I do think my T is what keeps me passionate. I desire human puzzles.
    You're right. I don't think anyone can explain why they're passionate about something or someone. Sure you can describe what you love, but it's more than just that. Why do I like one sport more than another? There's no real reason, I just do. Using descriptors always seems to come short of whatever subjective experience I enjoy, with or without a person.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  10. #10
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    eventually Te just overpowers it and claims functionally speaking it is mostly wasteful?

    why is it difficult for intj to manage its Fi world and keep it healthy while still attending to Ni and Te spaces for thinking? savoring works, in part, bc it is a way of introducing positive thinking and reinterpreted past experiences that were negative in a slightly sunnier outlook. Te just doesn't have time to attend to those childlike fantasies and whims, when there is real work to be done and logical thinking gets it done on a more consistent basis?
    I suspect savoring is the goal. Maybe an end state. My own experience of Fi is mostly that it's... just... there. If I want to spend time with it, other stuff has to be arranged first, meaning Fi is a stamp of approval. (Or oftentimes disapproval.) Savoring seems like the work of maturity.

    Seems like passion is royally destabilising without--for want of a less robotic term--a work focus.

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