User Tag List

First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 58

  1. #21
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    intj
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    2,220

    Default

    I'm fairly close to my parents and grandparents, but I don't see much of anyone else. I wouldn't mind getting to know them, I'm actually very interested in my extended family. I've always considered myself to value family loyalty and closeness, but when I think about it, it's only because I lucked out with a group of fairly non-neurotic people, and my mother (ISFJ) raised me in close proximity to my cousins and grandfolks so I'm familiar with them. If I didn't know them so well, I probably wouldn't care (as evidenced whenever someone marries into the family-I tend to either dislike them or feel neutrally about them).
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  2. #22
    Junior Member yowhatup's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    33.1
    Posts
    8

    Default

    i have a profuse dislike for my nuclear family members (all SJs)
    even though i still live in the house where my parents and younger brother do, i feel estranged from what you might call my family
    they're more like the three other people whom i have to live in a house with
    i have nothing in common with them
    except the quasi-constant disagreement; i can't actively disagree with them on a constant basis because i avoid them and their short-sighted judgement

  3. #23
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Socionics
    SLE
    Posts
    6,364

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    Same.

    The only family members I like, are individuals I'd choose to be acquainted with even if we didn't share genes. I find it irrational to be close to anyone because I'm "supposed to".
    I agree with this.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  4. #24
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    6,028

    Default

    I'm close to my immediate family, and would do anything for them--and they would for me. I adored my grandparents, and always made a point to go and visit them regularly when they were alive. I have a couple of aunts and uncles and cousins that I enjoy, and some that annoy me. I don't feel a lot of obligation to extended family. I do think family is important, though--it's been a very comforting thing to have people love you even when they don't always understand you, and know that they'll always be there. It would hurt me greatly if my SO hated my family and never wanted to be around them.
    Something Witty

  5. #25
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INtP
    Posts
    2,169

    Default

    I tend not to really have much of a concept of "family". Instead, I have a collection of individuals I consider myself related to. This almost certainly comes from the fact that I've never lived anywhere near any family members but my nuclear family, and my nuclear family broke up with I was... 14? I currently don't live anywhere near any of them (and haven't for years) so I think that there's more separation there than for most people. I recently went back "home" for a few days, and had the first "family" experience I'd had in maybe... 10 years? Although you could consider it the first in something like 25 years, if you discount divorce-stress stuff.

    I'd say that I get along with non-nuclear family members when I see them, but that I don't really know them (it's by no means unusual to go 5 years without any contact whatsoever). Any interactions we've ever had (even when I was toddler-age) has been with my Mom/Dad present, so I tend to see them not as "my" relatives, but as people who are related to people I'm related to.

    So I don't think I'm really helping to the conversation much, other than to say that I think that there are many issues aside from personality that affect such things. Any true meaning may get lost in the noise, so to speak. Having said that, my sister (who's had as close a similar upbringing as anyone could to me) is much more in touch with family members and family issues. But she's not a shut-in recluse either . So I guess you could say that I love my individual nuclear family members a lot (and care about the welfare of my extended family through my relationships to nuclear relatives), but don't have much sense of family itself.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #26
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    903

    Default

    Reading through all the responses the general feeling I am left with is that NTs are rather cold and rational when it comes to their families, not too much emotional investment there. (Of course there are exceptions.)

    My mum is an INTJ and my brother is an INTP and they haven't spoken to each other for years. My brother is an arrogant person who talks too much and has wild ideas but not much to show for (he is also one of the reasons why I am slightly prejudiced towards INTPs, he is just a bad example of one: cold, no social skills, arrogant, only takes and doesn't understand the concept of building a relationship by giving once in a while, whiner), my mum however is like my best friend, we get on great.

    Several people in my family don't talk to each other at the moment (my ESTJ grandmum and my mum, my ESTJ stepdad and my ESTJ gran) and it feels like me and my real dad (ISFJ) are the only ones who function as peacemakers and still talk to everyone.

    In my experience a family consisting only of (N)Ts could quite easily fall into a pit of never-ever-talking-to-each other-again-land, it seems that somehow the grease that keeps human interactions going would be in very short supply, like making an effort to contact a family member from time to time to find out how they are, remembering things like birthdays, being forgiving instead of insisting that you are right, being able to overlook weaknesses in order to save the relationship, sometimes doing something sacrifical in order to strenghten the relationship etc. I am not saying that Ts are not capable of these things but by what I have seen I am many times more a natural at human interaction and at building relationships and keeping them flourishing than my T-family members.

  7. #27
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    922

    Default

    I can't wait to start a family of my own. Had a Mexican-American friend in high school, the cultural differences between them and typical mid-western German/Polish family were striking. They seemed to have celebrations every week, the siblings were all friends as well as the cousins, and the entire Mexican community knew each other. Very tight knit. That is the sort of environment I would want for my own kids and family.

  8. #28
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    Yin
    Enneagram
    One sx/sp
    Posts
    13,905

    Default

    Blood is not important to me. I do not feel that I am obliged to treat my family members any better than non-family members of equal merit.

    I also do not feel compelled to see my family. I frequently do, but that's just circumstantial. If I happened to move far away from my family members, and did not need them for anything practical, I would likely not mind it.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  9. #29
    Widdles in your cream.
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5
    Socionics
    LII
    Posts
    577

    Default

    Mum: ESTJ
    Dad: INTP
    Older brother: ESTP (but he's left home, thank God)

    I currently live at home (waiting for Uni and all that), and I live in an SJ-dominant environment. That is, the mother is in charge whilst the father and I just go along with it. We know better than to argue. :P Not that she's tyrannical or anything. I hear posts dotted around the Forum saying things like, "Omg if I had an ESTJ for a parent I'd probably kill myself". Well yes, she's always been a strict parent, but she did her best to keep us well disciplined. SJ types use the past to determine their style of parenting, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to follow their parents style. My mum had a rough childhood, where domestic violence was a common theme. When they went on holiday, the father always chose to go where he wanted, so my mum spent vacations in a farmers field in a caravan, and no facilities for children. So, she took his style of parenting on board and basically went the opposite. Because she was bored stiff on her holidays, she made sure that whenever we went on holiday there was a kids club, or at least a park. She also asked us (even as children) where we would want to go. It wasn't a case of, "We're spending the weekend in a caravan, kids. Like it or lump it".

    I don't have strong family values, but I've been brought up to respect the rules of the household because my parents are the breadwinners and own the house. So at least I've been told why I should respect my parents, rather than the conventional "Because I said so". Therefore I do respect them because their reason makes sense to me.

    My parents both came from working class and worked hard to get to where they are now- a comfortable lower-middle class status, two cars, two dogs, and a cottage in a surburbanised village. Because of this I've been brought up in a T-orientated environment that values a strong work ethic above all else, so laziness is not tolerated at all. My parents have recently severed themselves financially from my brother because he won't get a job, and he keeps asking them to "lend" him money for a deposit in a house. They tell me that they won't bother supporting me in any way if I don't get a job, because they want me to be economically independent as soon as possible. In some ways I think I'm lucky because I've been brought up to value money and work hard for it, so I'm satisfied with their parenting overall. Other times I just feel under pressure not to fail, which was probably what sparked episodes of "reality withdrawal" during my A levels, where exam stress was rampant. But I still love them.

    I hate my brother though. He was a domineering, bully of a brother and made it perfectly clear that he wished he never had a sister. Worst of all, instead of leaving home and finally making a living for himself, he's decided to develop a parasitic relationship with the parents wallet. This is his so-called definition of "breaking out from the oppressor that is mum". Whilst I quietly accepted my mum's militaristic style of parenting (why fight against the current? Struggling only tires you out :P) he clashed against it and was even stupid enough to start smoking because he knew she wouldn't approve. What's most lulzy about this is that he's asthmatic. What a dumb arse.

    ... I can actually hear my mother talking from the above posts.

    What I'm trying to say is that I got on with my parents but hated my brother.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    903

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwar View Post
    I can't wait to start a family of my own. Had a Mexican-American friend in high school, the cultural differences between them and typical mid-western German/Polish family were striking. They seemed to have celebrations every week, the siblings were all friends as well as the cousins, and the entire Mexican community knew each other. Very tight knit. That is the sort of environment I would want for my own kids and family.
    I feel the same. (Despite my introversion and need for personal space.)

Similar Threads

  1. [E8] Another view on the 8
    By entropie in forum Enneatypes
    Replies: 133
    Last Post: 10-27-2016, 01:00 AM
  2. Hile Rutledge's views on McCain/Obama
    By edcoaching in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 11-01-2008, 07:16 AM
  3. What was Socrates view on morality in The Republic?
    By WobblyStilettos in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 10-23-2008, 11:57 AM
  4. [NT] NT: Opinion on Smoking?
    By Usehername in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 06-09-2007, 04:23 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO