[NT] NTs: How would you describe your ideal SO?

[Matthew_Z]

A hard-working wench who is great at making love.

As for my list:
Loyal
Open-minded (but not to the point where she can't hold an opinion)
Cooperative
Fun-loving
Content with herself (doesn't feel she needs cosmetics to go outside the house)
Appreciates and loves me
Doesn't hide parts of herself
(Cute?)
Enjoys my sense of humor
Same beliefs and feelings on sex
Can follow my train of thought
Makes it comfortable for me to be "myself" around her

And for the largely (optional) superficial things:
Good singer
Can hold her own in an RTS game
Quirky sense of humor
Same(or similar) political beliefs
Good pianist

And the COMPLETELY superficial part: (like the section above, not really needed)
Long, black hair (preferably straight)
4'10" to 5'2"
Medium-Slim figure
Contralto vocal range (MAYBE mezzo-soprano)

 

[violet_crown]

I wonder how you girls test backbone? How do you tell the difference between choice and weakness?

I dont understand what you mean here.

With or with out the ability to research first?

Well Im sure whoever she was would want to poke and prod you a little first to make sure youre to par.

 

[runvardh]

I dont understand what you mean here.

How about, how do you tell whether a guy is just following you out of nothing better to do, or following because the's thought it through and sees it reasonable?

Well Im sure whoever she was would want to poke and prod you a little first to make sure youre to par.

Ah, I suppose that happening at all would depend largely on if I stick out from the faceless masses to start with.

 

[INTP]

enfp

 

[Totenkindly]

A hard-working wench who is great at making love.

Oh fudge.

I had almost thought we were meant for each other.

 

[JustHer]

-Smart, brilliant really
-Highly perceptive, able to pick up on things I may not notice, especially socially
-Independant, not needy or emotional
-Social (This could be of the developped kind)

 

[Kasper]

Non-judgemental
Open minded
Thirsty for knowledge and understanding
Wants me but doesn't need me
Independent and gives a lot of space
Wit, intelligence and mutual attraction

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

-quiet confidence
- intelligence
- not afraid of being silly and goofy!
- I love a guy who is attractive but knows the value of modesty.
- adventurous!!
- not intimidated easily.
- trustworthy and open minded
- kinky
- knows himself and his limits.
- no pretty boys..ugh...love the rugged outdoorsy types!

 

[Magic Poriferan]

Ideal, eh? Okay She would have the maximum possible amount of all virtuous qualities.

Alright, I think that sums it up.

 

[BlackCat]

Great pointers in this thread! I'm happy that I fulfill a lot of them.

-quiet confidence
- intelligence
- not afraid of being silly and goofy!
- I love a guy who is attractive but knows the value of modesty.
- adventurous!!
- not intimidated easily.
- trustworthy and open minded
- kinky
- knows himself and his limits.
- no pretty boys..ugh...love the rugged outdoorsy types!

Too bad you live in Florida and you're 11 years older than I am. 30 is pushing it for me agewise. But still.

 

[violet_crown]

How about, how do you tell whether a guy is just following you out of nothing better to do, or following because the's thought it through and sees it reasonable?

Honestly I'd probably just go on instinct or sort it out through interaction with the other person. Its not difficult to sense the difference between someone whos easy going and someone whos just listless. Guys who are laid-back have definite boundaries, and if they dont want to do something they wont. Wont fight, just wont go. Someone whos less self-direct wont have the wherewithal to say no to a strong personality.

 

[Venom]

1. she must be attractive enough that I would not feel like im settling...im tired of all the good personalities i meet being just "blah" in the looks department. why cant someone be INXX AND be hot?! this infuriates me...

2. she must be normal enough that I dont feel like i have to be always "on" with weirdness to entertain her... the weird ones always feel non-judgemental at first, but then they resent how 'normal' or boring you are.

3. she must be weird enough that i dont feel like i have to pretend to be someone else 24/7... Im REALLY weird compared to the average ESXX... being normal/organized/cool/sociallyaware is stuff i do not do well. I do not want to have to pretend to be someone else in order to keep my mate.

3.b what sorts of traits do 1 and 2 apply to?

• intensity of personality
• intelligence
• social needs (how often can we stay in/go out)

4. ABSOLUTELY CANNOT BE A FLAKE!!!

5. must talk straight up, i will not tolerate ANY passive aggressive behavior...

6. I need either someone to help me navigate the realm of social stuff i dont pick up on, or someone to laugh with me about how we dont understand.

7. She must like concepts.

8. she must be athletic....non-athleticism turns me off

9. this person would have to be a real person...which im starting to doubt.

10. if the above person doesnt exist, then id settle for a hot, non-neurotic, athletic ISFJ who calls me master...

 

[sonata]

I second what a few of the ENTx girls said about being able to deal with things and not run away, this irritates me no end. (Major issue with my ex, don't get me started.)
At least as extroverted as me, and at least as emotionally intelligent as me.
Must have a life outside of the relationship.
Must understand, respond to, or at least appreciate my crazy Ni tangents.
Someone who isn't trying desperately either to conform or not to conform... We all get annoyed by people who do something just because it is popular, but I'm also talking about people who are determined to dislike something just because it is popular. Have enough confidence to make your own choices.
Must, eventually, make me feel comfortable enough to open up to them about things I don't usually tell people. And should be able to do so around me.
I like a bit more open affection than your average NT, but don't go overboard, especially in public.
Personality is way more important than looks to me, but there's sort of an, oh, minimum attractiveness threshold. Gah, that sounds so clinical. I don't calculate it. I promise.

 

[Salt n' pepper]

He has to have:
Integrity
Depth
Confidence (preferably the quite kind)
A wicked sense of humor
Various interests and hobbies

He has to be:
Sincere/honest
Intelligent
Insightful
Independent
Very knowledgeable
Open to try new things
Affectionate

He can’t be:
Passive-aggressive or beat around the bush about things
Moody
Materialistic
Easily offended
Very chatty
Ugly and/or fat

 

[Saslou]

^^^ I really liked your list until the last comment. Shame.

OK, so i would like to ask a question. In another thread about who you admire most, i answered ENTP, INTJ, ENTJ, ESTP, ISTP, ISFJ.

Yes, there does seem to be a theme going here. I don't want to be around feelers and i do like thinkers.

I know it's down to the individual and the chemistry etc but seriously as an ESFJ, would it be wise to scrap this list and just stick with my own (no challenge there) or keep it how it is?
I am also aware when i do meet someone again, i won't know their type immediately and i will just probably fall for them as an individual. But bringing type into it, am i just wasting my time?
Thanks.

 

[Salt n' pepper]

^^ I’m saving them all for you, sweetie.

Generally, the more you know about what you want and what you look for in a partner, the better. The general idea is to not set yourself up for failure. If you know you prefer some qualities over some others, why should you settle for less? However, love is love and you might be writing a new list when you meet your F soulmate.

And also, bringing type into it, is the waste of time.

 

[chegra]

Like to observe how my SO relate to others. So its very important they love others and see the best in them.


INFJ -> They normally are smart.
and oddly enough ESTJ/ISTJ -> they seem to listen to me, but generally I have to keep pestering them about seeing the best in people.

ENFJ - When they have time for me- They are always surrounded by people, but they are very supportive.

 

[ThatGirl]

Freakishly smart, strong willed, not easily influenced, high degree of integrity, motivated, has already "found" them self, not easily offended or intimidated.

........With hot man shoulders.

 

[JonJT]

Freakishly smart, strong willed, not easily influenced, high degree of integrity, motivated, has already "found" them self, not easily offended or intimidated.

........With hot man shoulders.

Define freakishly smart.

 

[Salt n' pepper]

But bringing type into it, am i just wasting my time?

Maybe, maybe not. Every relationship takes work anyways, so why not put that work into someone you really like?

Also, my philosophy has always been: when there's a will, there's a way.