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  1. #31
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    How about, how do you tell whether a guy is just following you out of nothing better to do, or following because the's thought it through and sees it reasonable?

    Honestly I'd probably just go on instinct or sort it out through interaction with the other person. Its not difficult to sense the difference between someone whos easy going and someone whos just listless. Guys who are laid-back have definite boundaries, and if they dont want to do something they wont. Wont fight, just wont go. Someone whos less self-direct wont have the wherewithal to say no to a strong personality.

  2. #32
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    1. she must be attractive enough that I would not feel like im settling...im tired of all the good personalities i meet being just "blah" in the looks department. why cant someone be INXX AND be hot?! this infuriates me...

    2. she must be normal enough that I dont feel like i have to be always "on" with weirdness to entertain her... the weird ones always feel non-judgemental at first, but then they resent how 'normal' or boring you are.

    3. she must be weird enough that i dont feel like i have to pretend to be someone else 24/7... Im REALLY weird compared to the average ESXX... being normal/organized/cool/sociallyaware is stuff i do not do well. I do not want to have to pretend to be someone else in order to keep my mate.

    3.b what sorts of traits do 1 and 2 apply to?
    • intensity of personality
    • intelligence
    • social needs (how often can we stay in/go out)


    4. ABSOLUTELY CANNOT BE A FLAKE!!!

    5. must talk straight up, i will not tolerate ANY passive aggressive behavior...

    6. I need either someone to help me navigate the realm of social stuff i dont pick up on, or someone to laugh with me about how we dont understand.

    7. She must like concepts.

    8. she must be athletic....non-athleticism turns me off

    9. this person would have to be a real person...which im starting to doubt.

    10. if the above person doesnt exist, then id settle for a hot, non-neurotic, athletic ISFJ who calls me master...

  3. #33
    Senior Member sonata's Avatar
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    I second what a few of the ENTx girls said about being able to deal with things and not run away, this irritates me no end. (Major issue with my ex, don't get me started.)
    At least as extroverted as me, and at least as emotionally intelligent as me.
    Must have a life outside of the relationship.
    Must understand, respond to, or at least appreciate my crazy Ni tangents.
    Someone who isn't trying desperately either to conform or not to conform... We all get annoyed by people who do something just because it is popular, but I'm also talking about people who are determined to dislike something just because it is popular. Have enough confidence to make your own choices.
    Must, eventually, make me feel comfortable enough to open up to them about things I don't usually tell people. And should be able to do so around me.
    I like a bit more open affection than your average NT, but don't go overboard, especially in public.
    Personality is way more important than looks to me, but there's sort of an, oh, minimum attractiveness threshold. Gah, that sounds so clinical. I don't calculate it. I promise.

  4. #34
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    He has to have:
    Integrity
    Depth
    Confidence (preferably the quite kind)
    A wicked sense of humor
    Various interests and hobbies

    He has to be:
    Sincere/honest
    Intelligent
    Insightful
    Independent
    Very knowledgeable
    Open to try new things
    Affectionate

    He cant be:
    Passive-aggressive or beat around the bush about things
    Moody
    Materialistic
    Easily offended
    Very chatty
    Ugly and/or fat

  5. #35
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    ^^^ I really liked your list until the last comment. Shame.

    OK, so i would like to ask a question. In another thread about who you admire most, i answered ENTP, INTJ, ENTJ, ESTP, ISTP, ISFJ.

    Yes, there does seem to be a theme going here. I don't want to be around feelers and i do like thinkers.

    I know it's down to the individual and the chemistry etc but seriously as an ESFJ, would it be wise to scrap this list and just stick with my own (no challenge there) or keep it how it is?
    I am also aware when i do meet someone again, i won't know their type immediately and i will just probably fall for them as an individual. But bringing type into it, am i just wasting my time?
    Thanks.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  6. #36
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    ^^ Im saving them all for you, sweetie.

    Generally, the more you know about what you want and what you look for in a partner, the better. The general idea is to not set yourself up for failure. If you know you prefer some qualities over some others, why should you settle for less? However, love is love and you might be writing a new list when you meet your F soulmate.

    And also, bringing type into it, is the waste of time.

  7. #37
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    Like to observe how my SO relate to others. So its very important they love others and see the best in them.


    INFJ -> They normally are smart.
    and oddly enough ESTJ/ISTJ -> they seem to listen to me, but generally I have to keep pestering them about seeing the best in people.

    ENFJ - When they have time for me- They are always surrounded by people, but they are very supportive.
    Join my gamma group on facebook:
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/edit....id=63943661343
    Thats if you are either ENTJ, ISFJ, ESFP or INTP

  8. #38
    ThatGirl
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    Freakishly smart, strong willed, not easily influenced, high degree of integrity, motivated, has already "found" them self, not easily offended or intimidated.

    ........With hot man shoulders.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Freakishly smart, strong willed, not easily influenced, high degree of integrity, motivated, has already "found" them self, not easily offended or intimidated.

    ........With hot man shoulders.
    Define freakishly smart.

  10. #40
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    But bringing type into it, am i just wasting my time?
    Maybe, maybe not. Every relationship takes work anyways, so why not put that work into someone you really like?

    Also, my philosophy has always been: when there's a will, there's a way.

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