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  1. #1
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Default INTJs- How successful have you been at love?

    I ask this because I have 2 close INTJ friends, and they are still single, though one just hit 30 and the other is close. They have had relationships, but not have settled down yet, in fact, the younger of the 2 seems to meet a different girl every week, but can't keep it going.

    I'm not saying that 30 is some magic number. I'm not married myself.


    I just wonder how their approach to life and relationships impacts their relationships.

    Any thoughts are appreciated.

  2. #2
    Black Magic Buzzard Kra's Avatar
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    Well, I consider it a work in progress.

    I approach most aspects of my life with the mindset of a strategist these days. I'm highly unlikely to settle for someone that doesn't fit my image of a matching partner. The prospect of living the life of a bachelor is no longer a negative one for me, though it is not the preferred outcome. After all, I thoroughly believe that when you are purely content with just yourself, you are capable of truly loving another.

    Note: I will admit it took me years of "doing it wrong" to finally make valid progress towards this mentality. It is another work-in-progress I suppose.
    Function Activity:
    Ni > Te > Ti = Fi > Ne > Si = Fe > Se

  3. #3
    Your time is gonna come. Oom's Avatar
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    I'd think that many of the more introverted INTX types might be perfectly happy being alone. They seem to be the most comfortable being alone and it wouldn't surprise me if one of them only took a partner because of very common interests and the availability of time away from them. Maybe more of a business like relationship would occur in older INTs getting into dating?

  4. #4
    Senior Member ed111's Avatar
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    I've only recently settled down ( sorry ladies ), and apart from one close call have either been single or with women that I knew I could never stay with.

    I was really happy living on my own. It was the most productive period of my life, and I felt more relaxed and at peace than I had for a long time. I could watch what I wanted, go where I wanted (although this was only theoretical), and spend time on intellectual pursuits (every night and all weekend most times).

    Being introverted, I've missed out on more than one opportunity, and I'm also quite selective about who I spend my time with. I dated a lot of women, and there were hardly any that I would have seriously considered for long term relationships. When I was younger I couldn't abide women smarter than myself. I remember dating a girl that was really cute and feeling embarassed introducing her to my friends because although she was really nice, she was a bit dumb. In fact one of my female friends at the time questioned whether she was my type. As I became more mature, I realised that I could only be happy with a woman that was at least my equal (which my INTJ girlfriend certainly is).

    The things that I prize highly now are intelligence, family values, academic excellence and to some extent wealth.

  5. #5

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    I had a very satisfying, loving 5-year relationship that could easily have become a marriage. Other than that, never more than a month or two. What this tells me is that I can be happy alone but that the right relationship can make me happier. So I'm not going to compromise, but I welcome the right one. I just hope she understands that I work slow

    Great relationship > Being alone > Ehh relationship
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  6. #6
    Senior Member SubjectA's Avatar
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    INTJs are content being alone, but whether many choose to admit it or not, we do need people. The right relationship lets us thrive quite well. We're just insanely picky about relationships, for the most part. INTJ's typically don't start dating until late high school or in college, if even then. I guess it's because we intimidate those who haven't fully matured yet. But we don't absolutely NEED to be in a relationship to be perfectly happy. In fact, a lot of INTJs are better off not being in a relationship at all. And we'd much rather be alone than be in a mediocre relationship.

    I didn't start dating until senior year of high school. I have had two real boyfriends, the shortest relationship being a year and nine months. I've can honestly count the number of people I dated on one hand. My standards are very high and few people meet them.

    Same could be said with friends about me. I don't have very many friends because I'm extremely choosy about who I make any sort of emotional investment in.

    But at the moment, I'd say my love life is close to perfect. I'm in a very stable and happy relationship right now which I'm more than willing to spend the rest of my life in.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #7
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    We're just really picky. The healthy ones of us have the ability to be excellent partners.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  8. #8
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    How successful is my love life? Crap. Barely any girl meets my expectations and if they do it's hard to pick them out from the general crowd. To me, most girls seem like airheads who only care about pop culture. Screw that. Many girls also seem very good at their studies and get high marks but where the hell's the intelligence? They just know how to study well and fantasize. Knowledge and intelligence are very different. Apologies to actual intelligent girls who feel offended by my comments. You are just the exception out of the general handful I talk about. Im in university and I haven't started dating yet. I am quite picky and haven't yet found the proper girl to suit me.

  9. #9
    Supreme Allied Commander Take Five's Avatar
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    I have zero success.
    Johari Nohari

    "If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared. "--Niccolo Machiavelli

  10. #10
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    I the case I say successful or unsuccessful as an answer that would mean that I have actually tryed something. I am in my mid 20s and I still haven't experianced my first crush or kiss.

    But recently I have decided to give this a shot. (if nothing just to see what will happen)

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