User Tag List

First 6789 Last

Results 71 to 80 of 82

  1. #71
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    2,390
    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    I ask this because I have 2 close INTJ friends, and they are still single, though one just hit 30 and the other is close. They have had relationships, but not have settled down yet, in fact, the younger of the 2 seems to meet a different girl every week, but can't keep it going.

    I'm not saying that 30 is some magic number. I'm not married myself.


    I just wonder how their approach to life and relationships impacts their relationships.

    Any thoughts are appreciated.
    I'm probably relatively typical of the INTJ male. I've had a few serious relationships (in one I was engaged to an ENFP for a few years). Generally we like to have a settled external environment that doesn't upset us. We generally learn quickly in the modern world that others are very different. Given enough time and experience we tend to decide that attempting to deal with others eccentricities is dangerous to us in itself. There is a balance between choosing longer relationships or short non committal ones to stay internally non threatened by the external environment.

    I remember reading somewhere an INTJ relationships guide which specified that the typical INTJ spots a partner around college age based upon many attractive attributes and then hunts them down vigorously, if it doesn't work we internalise the problem and go 'well don't waste time on that again' if it does work we are rather happy. I think they were probably accurate.

    We tend to leap straight into our first few relationships with limerence for the partner and find ourselves badly burned and then adjust ourselves to allowing relationships to occur but not having much faith in them. Of course, we tend to make the error of believing our partners are exactly the same emotional connection level as we are, this our error in perspective, not our partners as we rarely want to talk about it. We are instantaneously very observant of others, but we can sit and ruin our external perspective with internal Ni-Fi biases adding very strong flavour to our other experiences. If we are just in it for fun we assume the other is, if our brain has turned into lovey mush we assume the others has.

    I suppose some get lucky and go the full way with their first few partners, good for them!

    I think the typical INTJ male sees less need for commitment based upon the number of relationships they are in due to history matching relationships against results. Commitment opens oneself to emotional turmoil and is viewed as preparing oneself for disappointment.

    This is one of the reasons I tend to view the whole ENFP-INTJ thing as messy and pretty dumb matching system. ENFPs like to sample during their early adulthood and become more committed given time and experience as they learn how much they enjoy building an emotionally complex relationship. The inverse could said to be true for INTJs, initial disappointment could easily give way to a view that creating emotional connections is dangerous to the internal world itself.

    There is probably some balance point therefore between these two affects if this was to be possible.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    A J who knows you well, loves you, and wants what's best for you can help you choose a good path and stay with it.
    Depends on the J, INTJs tend not to wish to influence other peoples paths, we internalise our views and perspectives particularly where others are involved. As an INTJ I find myself going to extreme lengths not to influence others decision making processes. If I find a good friendship or relationship (rare enough at best) the last thing I want to do is influence their individuality.

  2. #72
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    4,209

    Default

    pfft... dorks
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  3. #73
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1
    Posts
    3,823

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Depends on the J, INTJs tend not to wish to influence other peoples paths, we internalise our views and perspectives particularly where others are involved. As an INTJ I find myself going to extreme lengths not to influence others decision making processes. If I find a good friendship or relationship (rare enough at best) the last thing I want to do is influence their individuality.
    I'm a bossy J. I have no issue pushing people in a certain direction if I feel they've been spinning their wheels to no avail or are making a poor decision that is going to have repercussions. I do expect them to push back, though!
    EDIT: And I'm particularly good at verbalizing encouragement, too.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  4. #74
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    This is one of the reasons I tend to view the whole ENFP-INTJ thing as messy and pretty dumb matching system. ENFPs like to sample during their early adulthood and become more committed given time and experience as they learn how much they enjoy building an emotionally complex relationship. The inverse could said to be true for INTJs, initial disappointment could easily give way to a view that creating emotional connections is dangerous to the internal world itself.
    Maybe it's because only ENFPs are 1) openly expressive enough 2) sexy enough 3) fascinated enough by the INTJ personality and 4) and-damn-near-pesty-persisitent enough to try to convince the INTJ curmudgeon otherwise.

  5. #75
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    2,390

    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Maybe it's because only ENFPs are 1) openly expressive enough 2) sexy enough 3) fascinated enough by the INTJ personality and 4) and-damn-near-pesty-persisitent enough to try to convince the INTJ curmudgeon otherwise.
    This seems likely. At least there are all those INTJs around to keep your optimism balanced against reality, right?

  6. #76
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    This seems likely. At least there are all those INTJs around to keep your optimism balanced against reality, right?
    Someone has got to be rational!

  7. #77
    Senior Member Rex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    609

    Default

    Not success yet. Going to move in to the city to get shorter travel time to the bars. Best shot i can figure out as of now.

  8. #78
    resonance entropie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    783
    Posts
    16,761

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Maybe it's because only ENFPs are 1) openly expressive enough 2) sexy enough 3) fascinated enough by the INTJ personality and 4) and-damn-near-pesty-persisitent enough to try to convince the INTJ curmudgeon otherwise.
    I am curious how you can proof being sexy by being enfp. I am entp for example
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  9. #79
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    45

    Default

    I must be an outlier on the INTJ relationship chart. I have had three and half rock solid years with my ESTJ boyfriend.

    I guess it works for me because even though I theoretically imagine some passionate, intense relationship with an ENFP-type personality or finding more common ground with another INTJ, I really, really like the constancy of my life. Besides, I need someone who will remember and take care of all the practical, real-world stuff that I prefer not to think about AND who will act as "ambassador" at social gatherings. Conversely, he needs someone to tell him to stop obsessing over every penny he spends and to look at the world from a different perspective sometimes. It's a balancing act.

  10. #80
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    intP
    Posts
    231

    Default

    Any INTJ-INTP love stories?

Similar Threads

  1. How wrong have you been? LOL!
    By Santosha in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 69
    Last Post: 06-29-2012, 01:49 PM
  2. [NF] NFs, how long have you been learning / studying about MBTI?
    By Crescent Fresh in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 10-15-2011, 06:22 AM
  3. [INTJ] How many hours you stay at home?
    By yenom in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 09-26-2010, 12:03 AM
  4. How many fights have you been in?
    By JivinJeffJones in forum Arts & Entertainment
    Replies: 71
    Last Post: 01-29-2009, 09:17 PM
  5. How long have you been studying/interested in MBTI or Personality Theory?
    By dnivera in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 08-18-2008, 07:09 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO