I remember reading somewhere an INTJ relationships guide which specified that the typical INTJ spots a partner around college age based upon many attractive attributes and then hunts them down vigorously, if it doesn't work we internalise the problem and go 'well don't waste time on that again' if it does work we are rather happy. I think they were probably accurate.
We tend to leap straight into our first few relationships with limerence for the partner and find ourselves badly burned and then adjust ourselves to allowing relationships to occur but not having much faith in them. Of course, we tend to make the error of believing our partners are exactly the same emotional connection level as we are, this our error in perspective, not our partners as we rarely want to talk about it. We are instantaneously very observant of others, but we can sit and ruin our external perspective with internal Ni-Fi biases adding very strong flavour to our other experiences. If we are just in it for fun we assume the other is, if our brain has turned into lovey mush we assume the others has.
I suppose some get lucky and go the full way with their first few partners, good for them!
I think the typical INTJ male sees less need for commitment based upon the number of relationships they are in due to history matching relationships against results. Commitment opens oneself to emotional turmoil and is viewed as preparing oneself for disappointment.
This is one of the reasons I tend to view the whole ENFP-INTJ thing as messy and pretty dumb matching system. ENFPs like to sample during their early adulthood and become more committed given time and experience as they learn how much they enjoy building an emotionally complex relationship. The inverse could said to be true for INTJs, initial disappointment could easily give way to a view that creating emotional connections is dangerous to the internal world itself.
There is probably some balance point therefore between these two affects if this was to be possible.