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  1. #61
    Senior Member forzen's Avatar
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    Only felt the urge to be in a relationship twice in my life.

    My first round with love (infatuation, whatever...I would have done anything for this chick, good thing she didn't know lol) is a high school crush (who doesn't have those). I only talked to her once and she innitiated the conversation. I was so surprised that I just looked at her and could not say anything....

    Round two was probably one of the happiest time of my life even though after I confessed that "I liked her," she told me those dreadful phrase that every guy don't want to hear, "I think its a good idea if we stay as friend." I still enjoyed every moment I spent with her and moved on. There was a brief romantic movie scene moment, but I ended pulling away (kind of looked like I was disgusted....jeez I fail when it counts) because I was so confused on wtf is going (i was 19 here) on because she had said earlier that we were just going to be friend.

    The feelings I felt during those time has not returned and those feelings were the fuel that droved me to explore being in a relationship.

    So I concluded:
    For the average looking male INTJ like myself, with no "game," the prospect of love is undeniably grim.
    This post grammatical errors had been intentionally left uncorrected.

  2. #62
    Junior Member Jeremy77's Avatar
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    I'm almost 33 and still single. My romantic history is pretty thin, and I didn't even start dating till well out of high school.

    But I'd much rather be alone than in a bad relationship. Half the married people I know are divorced or wish they were divorced, and that's not going to be me. I take great pride in the fact I'm not in the Child Support system.

    Having said that, I wouldn't mind meeting a comely NT girl and seeing if I could forge a lasting mental connection that might get serious.

  3. #63
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy77 View Post
    I'm almost 33 and still single. My romantic history is pretty thin, and I didn't even start dating till well out of high school.

    But I'd much rather be alone than in a bad relationship. Half the married people I know are divorced or wish they were divorced, and that's not going to be me. I take great pride in the fact I'm not in the Child Support system.

    Having said that, I wouldn't mind meeting a comely NT girl and seeing if I could forge a lasting mental connection that might get serious.
    Welcome to the board.

    I'll be 32 on Sunday, and I didn't date much in my teens and 20s....I had a job that I loved and didn't mind slaving for.

    Not that I couldn't get girls, I just wasn't interested in anything serious.

    But I know that feeling...I can't say that I have any congintive preference, I just want to be able to get that mental connection/chemistry thing that you are looking for, so I feel you.

  4. #64
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    I'm 30 and single. I'm happy to be both and glad that I didn't make any life long commitments in my 20s. I'm just becoming comfortable in my own skin and really starting push into more interior layers within myself that need to be addressed. I'd rather be alone than with someone that I know isn't a good fit.
    Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
    -Alice in Wonderland

  5. #65
    What is, is. Arthur Schopenhauer's Avatar
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    My one and, so far, only romantic experience was a doomed failure. I am still recovering and I don't think she ever will. :/

    After experiencing what it's like to be in that kind of relationship, the whole prospect of romance has become increasingly more complicated and... Dare I say it? Horrifying. It looks like I'm doomed to be a hermit unless I accrue some masses of wealth or find a perfect woman... I wish I could find them on eBay.

    Bleh.
    INTJ | 5w4 - Sp/Sx/So | 5-4-(9/1) | RLoEI | Melancholic-Choleric | Johari & Nohari

    This will not end well...
    But it will at least be poetic, I suppose...

    Hmm... But what if it does end well?
    Then I suppose it will be a different sort of poetry, a preferable sort...
    A sort I could become accustomed to...



  6. #66
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    I'm just in the opposite boat - I'm the male ENFP who is desperately in love with a much younger INTJ. She is my best friend, and I exposed all my feelings to her recently. She feels it may be the best thing ever "on paper" but that she's not ready for it yet....
    I'm longing like crazy for her.... She doesn't seem to mind me addressing her as "my love" in messages and stuff, but she kinda ignores the fact that I am desperate for her, and won't throw a single gesture or word that may feel to me like an approval of my love... Sigh!
    If she just said I was more than a friend I could go for the next few months with my head in the clouds.
    My only strategy is to be as I always was with her, the challenger to her intellect, the guy who spurs her on and keeps ahead of her in every game. It seems to be the respect game that can work - the more respect I get from her, the more likely she will someday let her emotions rule and fall for me as I fell for her....

  7. #67
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    How long do you know each other?

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    How long do you know each other?
    I know her about a year and a half - Her dad has been my good friend for about 6 years, but I usually only met him at his workplace, I met her for the first time in early 2009. We got to be real good friends soon, because I think the respect her dad had for me impressed her. We have been meeting a couple of times a week at least, usually in our martial arts class, and often we go running together, sometimes she drops in and we watch TED Talks or MIT OCW video lectures together. She is a science nut and luckily so am I, so thats a good thing

    I definitely always test as an ENFP, but when I was much younger I believe i leaned more towards an INTJ ( maybe I'm wrong but I can understand some of the things that go on in her head and what she says, because I felt that way years ago )

  9. #69
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    Great relationship > Being alone > Ehh relationship
    so true

    Quote Originally Posted by ed111 View Post
    Whatever type you are, women have it easier.
    we both have our battles. until you guys stop getting paid more, though, i can not allow this claim to go uncontested

    Quote Originally Posted by 9thNightingale View Post
    Often though, I've seen myself alter myself to 'fit' with the person I am with because I like harmony in relationships. It's happened a couple of times now - whereby I undergo a transformation of myself by picking up the best traits of my partner .:workout:. Have any of you INTJ's done anything crazy like this? I feel like Rouge from X-Men lol. Its like i'm transferring the good qualities from someone into myself. I guess it comes from my need to improve myself. Its the oddest thing in the world! I'm not sure it did me any good though because it was a draining process.
    i do this too... you like pick up their strong qualities and mimic them to an extent.

    From my exes, ENFP was the most good for my INTJ soul. It felt good. Constant comfort and constant excitement. In the end, it was too "all over the place" for me. There was no direction. That is scary for an INTJ like me. Its "uncertainty". INTJ's like knowing things for a fact, and atleast be able to put their finger on what they value. Also when they know things, those facts become more valuable and interesting. So with all the uncertainty I lost my excitement and respect for him.
    that's part of why i like Js so much actually... (can't deny a certain amount of INTJ-ENFP chemistry either) i see so many different directions i could take that i love, and i have trouble choosing one path, or staying on it when i do. a J who knows you well, loves you, and wants what's best for you can help you choose a good path and stay with it.

  10. #70
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    a J who knows you well, loves you, and wants what's best for you can help you choose a good path and stay with it.
    No, they can't.

    And I get a little bit angry to constantly hear it. Why on earth would any self-respecting introverted J attempt to organise the external world of some other person? Any self-respected introverted J is extremely well aware of what it means to have other people organise their outer world: nothing. Worse than nothing, really. The outer world exists to reflect the inner world. Thus, how can any other person legitimately attempt to take over that organisation?

    EPs will make noise about our organisation being good. We'll be pleased. And we'll attempt to make sure we're right by asking, but what do you "really" want? And you'll lie, saying that you don't know and can't know until something happens, love is sweet, just enjoy.

    But we'll know. Probably too late, but we'll know. What will we know? That saying you don't know how to choose eventually means only I'll reserve my choice until it Really matters, and when it Really matters, none of your organisation of my world will be important any more.

    So, yeah, thanks for that. Choose your own path.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

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