I can quickly tell whether someone is "good enough". But I tended to stick it out as long as I can with hopes that my expectations would go away or transform. Often though, I've seen myself alter myself to 'fit' with the person I am with because I like harmony in relationships. It's happened a couple of times now - whereby I undergo a transformation of myself by picking up the best traits of my partner .:workout:. Have any of you INTJ's done anything crazy like this? I feel like Rouge from X-Men lol. Its like i'm transferring the good qualities from someone into myself. I guess it comes from my need to improve myself. Its the oddest thing in the world! I'm not sure it did me any good though because it was a draining process.
The following are the matches I have had as an INTJ and a few major characteristics I experienced with them.
First boyfriend: ExSP (artisan) - poetic, dramatic, romance overload.
Second boyfriend: ENFP (idealist) - creative, adventurous but no direction.
Third boyfriend: ESFJ (guardian) - secure, traditional but not as inspiring.
Current: ENTJ (rational)
From my exes, ENFP was the most good for my INTJ soul. It felt good. Constant comfort and constant excitement. In the end, it was too "all over the place" for me. There was no direction. That is scary for an INTJ like me. Its "uncertainty". INTJ's like knowing things for a fact, and atleast be able to put their finger on what they value. Also when they know things, those facts become more valuable and interesting. So with all the uncertainty I lost my excitement and respect for him.
My current boyfriend is an ENTJ! We've been dating for the past 2 months! And I haven't by far ever felt the need to change myself or do any intensive crazy voodoo on myself to fit with him. Its great! I like the way we approach expectations because we talk about them. We assess and argue too lol, but atleast we talk about it. Cuz its not JUST about what I want, we think about how an expectation would be mutually benefitting. I get to rationalize my thoughts properly and he listens, then he does the same. I really like this because it shows his mental and rational competency which is very attractive.
Have you as an INTJ ever dated any of these types (SP, ENFP, ESFJ, ENTJ)? What was your experience with each?