[NT] Romance question for TP women

[Economica]

(I'm placing the thread here in the NT Rationale, but STPs are invited to respond as well.)

TP women, when you become interested in a man, how do you behave toward him? We're talking about a man who is single.

I prefer anecdotal accounts to theorizing.

Edit: Make that preferably anecdotal accounts from when you were 20 years old, if that makes a difference.

 

[jenocyde]

I pay direct attention to him, singling him out. Since I am an E, I can be somewhat scattered and everyone thinks I am flirting with them, but when I like a man, he knows. Joking, banter, wit, music and laughter become more focused on him. I am extremely impatient/restless so after a few days of direct attention and humor, he usually gets asked something along the lines of "I like you, so what's up?" Direct and to the point. When I like a man, I can get a little jittery (excitement overload with no output) and make even more sensory mistakes than usual. For example, I went out for tea with a guy that I like and I completely missed my mouth (twice) and almost knocked over the kettle (twice). I think I banged my hip when I stood up. I am so focused on the mental connection that I often forget about the physical plane. It's almost slapstick funny.

 

[Economica]

... I failed to provide you contrarians with something to oppose, didn't I?

To be more specific, could you conceivably be interested in a man and yet not bother to read what corresponds to his visitor messages on a board like this (edit: I mean, the corresponding feature at another online community)? I'm thinking no, but maybe I'm just projecting since I'm a stalker an INTJ. Edit the next day: Assume you have just left a visitor message yourself. Do you glance down at the other messages and click on 'View Conversation' or not?

Edit: Oops, I see jenocyde didn't need more coaxing at least.

(No, the above post didn't take me 7 minutes ; I got distracted by a text.)

 

[jenocyde]

Oh. I don't even think to spy on a person, to be honest. It never even occurs to me. Maybe my ego is so huge too big or I have too many things going on, I don't know. It doesn't even cross my mind to look. I figure that if he wants me to know something, he'll tell me. But when we start dating, it's a completely different story. I want to know everything, not out of jealousy, but out of the same curiosity that I had in my first chemistry class. I can't explain it but I literally need to absorb as much information as I can. I still don't spy, though - but I will hound him to death with question after question. Sexy, right? :rolli:


(and lol about the 7 minutes. too cute!!)

 

[epp]

I pay direct attention to him, singling him out. Since I am an E, I can be somewhat scattered and everyone thinks I am flirting with them, but when I like a man, he knows. Joking, banter, wit, music and laughter become more focused on him. I am extremely impatient/restless so after a few days of direct attention and humor, he usually gets asked something along the lines of "I like you, so what's up?" Direct and to the point. When I like a man, I can get a little jittery (excitement overload with no output) and make even more sensory mistakes than usual. For example, I went out for tea with a guy that I like and I completely missed my mouth (twice) and almost knocked over the kettle (twice). I think I banged my hip when I stood up. I am so focused on the mental connection that I often forget about the physical plane. It's almost slapstick funny.

jeno, i could have written this... you are scaring me... give me back my thoughts!! they are my intellectual property!!

 

[jenocyde]

Yeah, epp, we definitely sound similar on every single post!

Economica - to answer your question, I don't belong to any other forums, so I really don't know my online etiquette. I have no basis of comparison. But I don't facebook stalk or google them or anything... and I certainly don't read people's walls here, aside from just casually noticing things when I post.

 

[Tallulah]

I pay direct attention to him, singling him out. Since I am an E, I can be somewhat scattered and everyone thinks I am flirting with them, but when I like a man, he knows. Joking, banter, wit, music and laughter become more focused on him. I am extremely impatient/restless so after a few days of direct attention and humor, he usually gets asked something along the lines of "I like you, so what's up?" Direct and to the point. When I like a man, I can get a little jittery (excitement overload with no output) and make even more sensory mistakes than usual. For example, I went out for tea with a guy that I like and I completely missed my mouth (twice) and almost knocked over the kettle (twice). I think I banged my hip when I stood up. I am so focused on the mental connection that I often forget about the physical plane. It's almost slapstick funny.

Very much relate to the bolded. I don't meet that many that make me act that way, though. The other cues will be way more subtle, though I will probably touch him more than I would a friend.

 

[wolfy]

Romance question for TP women

Get a bigger place to live. There's simply not enough room in a teepee for romance.

 

[onemoretime]

Get a bigger place to live. There's simply not enough room in a teepee for romance.

Says YOU...

 

[Blank]

Jen's story and everyone's subsequent agreement is cracking me up.

 

[jenocyde]

Edit the next day: Assume you have just left a visitor message yourself. Do you glance down at the other messages and click on 'View Conversation' or not?

Normally, I search for a person and click view conversation, so I don't see any person's conversation other than my own anyway. But if I do navigate to someone's wall and see something interesting, yes, I might click view conversation. But this is not exclusive to romantic interests, and most times, I don't want to be bothered or distracted so I normally click view conversation for my own conversation prior to seeing anyone else's conversation.

 

[Economica]

Normally, I search for a person and click view conversation, so I don't see any person's conversation other than my own anyway. But if I do navigate to someone's wall and see something interesting, yes, I might click view conversation. But this is not exclusive to romantic interests, and most times, I don't want to be bothered or distracted so I normally click view conversation for my own conversation prior to seeing anyone else's conversation.

But if you were interested in the man and you were on his visitor message page, how likely is it that you would disregard the conversations below? Or conversely, if you did disregard them, how interested could you possibly be?

 

[jenocyde]

But if you were interested in the man and you were on his visitor message page, how likely is it that you would disregard the conversations below? Or conversely, if you did disregard them, how interested could you possibly be?

I don't know how many other ways to tell you this (!!) but I am not interested in stalking. I really don't care. I am 95% likely to disregard any conversations below mine unless something overtly jumps out as sexual in nature.

My level of (non)stalking is not an indication of my interest level. I simply don't care and I feel kind of weird for spying or keeping tabs, because I would be mortified if someone did that to me.

 

[Athenian200]

Get a bigger place to live. There's simply not enough room in a teepee for romance.

LOL. I'm glad you're using more N, wolfy. I was thinking of saying something like that, myself, but I worried it might be too silly.

Since the question seems to be answered and everyone agrees with jenocyde... here are the two things that I thought of, that I've been wanting to share, since I saw this thread:

 

[Economica]

I don't know how many other ways to tell you this (!!) but I am not interested in stalking. I really don't care. I am 95% likely to disregard any conversations below mine unless something overtly jumps out as sexual in nature.

My level of (non)stalking is not an indication of my interest level. I simply don't care and I feel kind of weird for spying or keeping tabs, because I would be mortified if someone did that to me.

All right, I believe you.

Should anyone, especially an ITP, disagree, I'm all ears.

 

[Totenkindly]

To be more specific, could you conceivably be interested in a man and yet not bother to read what corresponds to his visitor messages on a board like this (edit: I mean, the corresponding feature at another online community)? I'm thinking no, but maybe I'm just projecting since I'm a stalker an INTJ. Edit the next day: Assume you have just left a visitor message yourself. Do you glance down at the other messages and click on 'View Conversation' or not?

If it's someone I'm really interested in and it's public information he has put out there, I have a very very strong compulsion to gather whatever information I can. I'm not going to invade privacy / impose myself, but if there is publicly available info, yes, I'm going to research... it's part of my sneaky stalkerette strategery!

 

[Kasper]

I pay direct attention to him, singling him out. Since I am an E, I can be somewhat scattered and everyone thinks I am flirting with them, but when I like a man, he knows. Joking, banter, wit, music and laughter become more focused on him. I am extremely impatient/restless so after a few days of direct attention and humor, he usually gets asked something along the lines of "I like you, so what's up?" Direct and to the point. When I like a man, I can get a little jittery (excitement overload with no output) and make even more sensory mistakes than usual. I am so focused on the mental connection that I often forget about the physical plane. It's almost slapstick funny.

Oh. I don't even think to spy on a person, to be honest. It never even occurs to me. Maybe my ego is so huge too big or I have too many things going on, I don't know. It doesn't even cross my mind to look. I figure that if he wants me to know something, he'll tell me. But when we start dating, it's a completely different story. I want to know everything, not out of jealousy, but out of the same curiosity that I had in my first chemistry class. I can't explain it but I literally need to absorb as much information as I can. I still don't spy, though - but I will hound him to death with question after question. Sexy, right? :rolli:

That saved me writing a lot.

I don't have an interest in reading messages between the object of my attention and others unless something jumps out at me, if I did though it would be to understand and know them better, like Jen it's normal for me to ask question after question after question directly so I can absorb as much as I can, I like reading people's reactions to direct interaction so stalking is no fun.

 

[Tallulah]

I'm a compulsive information gatherer, but not when it comes to people I actually know/am interested in. That crosses a line, to me, and feels like invasion of privacy. I'm not saying I've never read a thread on someone's visitor wall, but I don't make a practice of it. I've had people snoop around trying to find things out about me, and it makes me feel invaded. It also robs me of the chance to share things with you when I'm ready or trust you. If you're snooping, you're not getting context.

 

[Totenkindly]

I'm a compulsive information gatherer, but not when it comes to people I actually know/am interested in. That crosses a line, to me, and feels like invasion of privacy. I'm not saying I've never read a thread on someone's visitor wall, but I don't make a practice of it. I've had people snoop around trying to find things out about me, and it makes me feel invaded. It also robs me of the chance to share things with you when I'm ready or trust you. If you're snooping, you're not getting context.

Well, I also communicate too (so it's not like I'm just hoarding it, I'm talking to the person and clarifying things), and I'm pretty careful about that. I'm pretty sensitive to how people might read me, so I take that into account when decide what to read and what not to read.

About the "sneakiest" thing I did was figure out where an online friend of mine lived so I could send her a birthday card as a surprise. I also knew that she'd actually be pleased to get it; if it had been another person, I'd not have done that. Likewise, if I sense a guy would view that as an invasion of privacy, I wouldn't do it; and if someone left their PM account open, I would never go into it or read someone's e-mails without permission no matter how curious I was.

 

[Eris]

Oh, what a rare occasion. Well, when I do like someone, I typically try to hide all of my emotions (I know, counter-productive, right?), but seeing as how my NT can sometimes morph into the not-so-typical SF in this stage of the game, I'd probably be easy to figure out.

As for the stalking thing, I'd definitely like to check their Facebook page on a regular basis, but hey, if they made their information public, it's not really intrusive, right?