User Tag List

First 4567816 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 226

  1. #51
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    2w3 so/sx
    Posts
    1,273

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    No problemo.

    I liked Tallulah's comments too. I can be very playful; other times I seem more business; I go into "assess/eval" mode if you want to understand my reasoning; and generally I try to keep a connection with people even if underneath it I still have some detachment. (My natural self as a teen was to sit quietly in a room, observe everyone without saying a word, and figure out "who they were" and sometimes my inner conclusions were very critical/scathing, due to inconsistencies in personality.)

    You're going to see a spectrum of behavior across a "type" just like with every type. The more Ti+Si style INTP women are going to be more autonomous, snarkier/critical, and keep a distance between themselves and others; the more Ne (or Fe) style INTP women are going to be more social and seem less critical in casual encounters.

    Spending time with someone IRL will probably give you a better picture of the true self.



    That makes sense. Getting older and accumulating social experiences (and allowing oneself to change and grow) will result in some tempering and expansion of personality. We all get more well-rounded, if we allow it to happen.



    I can understand what you are saying and like to give people room to be themselves. I've also had enough experience with persistent people of many types to realize that, while my immediate strategic assess of a situation might be technically accurate, it's pretty amazing to see what can actually be accomplished through brute force and persistence and commitment to the goal, so I have learned not to dismiss it.



    heh... it wasn't much fun.
    But I enjoy it now. <- I even know how to use smilies!

    Growth is hard -- it's not just that you're changing, it's that you're leaving behind your old sense of identity ("I'm a rational analytical detached observer") and reborn in a sense ("I'm a rational analytical detached observer who engages others, feels things, and can respect and appreciate useful social conventions") and there's no proof that the new self is the "right one," you just engage the process on intuition and faith that you are going to a better place.



    ROFL.

    Where's the boom?! There was supposed to be an earthshattering kaboom!
    ... oh, THERE it is.
    Yes, like matter and anti-matter.

    My poor Ti, way down in the proverbial basement of my soul is just starting to see the light of day (from the safe, non-interactive confines of his bunker). You're absoleutely right, it's tough. I have been going through a bit of an identity crisis whenever I try to use Ti...it's like plotting an outlier on the graph and suddenly realizing that is as much a part of you as the rest of the points that you used to combine to picture yourself. You start to play a game of "connect-the-dots", and to reconcile those that don't seem to simply fit together, you have to create a much more complex self-image...one that is both feeling and rational and and you have to learn which should lead intentionally depending on the situation.

    So far, i've noticed Ni/Ti comes in when I must emotionally disconnect myself from a difficult "people" situation that I have to endure for awhile (I think...I might still be foggy on the concept and if I am incorrect, please feel free to demonstrate the right way for looking at Ti). Annoying or clingy roommates for instance--when someone fails to give me my space when I need it, or seriously fails to be curteous in some huge way, I become Fe dishelved. I've found that if I "back away" from my feelings, I am able to unoffensively guide someone into following social protocol that they didn't know was there to follow before. Their lives are improved because they make more friends and offend less people--and that includes me, so my life is too.

    My job is to bless the world, not curse it. My job is to leave the world a better place then I found it, not to cause it more harm. Yes, that's the typical NF creedo and much more so for the NFJs, but how can I help the world if I am constantly offended by it? How can I build a bridge when I can't emotionally deal with the situation? At the very core of maturity is the ability to see things from another prespective then your own--to be balanced and able to handle both the logical truths and the emotional constructs. I strive toward this goal and I'm glad to see that others do as well.

    Woah, got pulpit-ty there, sorry.

  2. #52
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    2w3 so/sx
    Posts
    1,273

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    I know that everyone's different but if we are speaking about generalities I agree that ENFJ/INTP can make a match. But it wouldn't be without it's problem areas and I don't see it being a "natural" match.
    I only know one female and one male ENFJ. He's like an alien to me. Then again, I've got a low N. So yeah. Very different.

    One thing I've noticed about ENFJ, male or female, is the need for control. They don't like being anywhere out of their comfort zone. I'm more go-with-the-flow but when there has been a rare occasion that I wanted to choose where to go or what to do...oh, man! :rolli: I get major pouting!
    Also, they tend to blow little things out of proportion to the extent that they can cause DRAMA where there doesn't have to be. Where we do get along great is on a silly, playful level. Two peas in a pod that way.
    I don't think you're describing a mature ENFJ for most of the last paragraph.

  3. #53
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    4,183

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by laintpe View Post
    I'm mean.
    Aloof and disinterested =/= mean
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  4. #54
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    8,183

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Aloof and disinterested =/= mean
    To ENFJ men, that's typically what aloof and disinterested, er... means.



  5. #55
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    2w3 so/sx
    Posts
    1,273

    Default

    That's true for immature ENFJ men. I used to think that way. But honestly, it's probably more exciting to find out what interests INTP and make that fun, rather than to expect the INTP to follow you around. Speaking from experience with some of my hardcore IT friends though, it can occasionally seem like they're being stubborn on purpose, lol.

  6. #56
    meh Salomé's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,540

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    That's true for immature ENFJ men. I used to think that way. But honestly, it's probably more exciting to find out what interests INTP and make that fun, rather than to expect the INTP to follow you around. Speaking from experience with some of my hardcore IT friends though, it can occasionally seem like they're being stubborn on purpose, lol.
    As opposed to being stubborn accidentally?

    Give it up, bro. It's a lost cause.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  7. #57
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTp
    Posts
    6,387

    Default

    Who determines what is mature or immature? I don't know. I think every person has a little of both...

    I'm a little jaded from recent experiences with those of the ENFJ persuasion (hahaha) but I am normally very compatible with them. I'm not so interested in them romantically, but as friends, I love them. But only on the good days. When it's bad, it's very bad.

    I can only imagine an INTP/ENFJ pairing just being an endless cycle of paranoia and accusations, though. It played out that way with my ENFJ cousin and his latest love, an INTP. I felt bad for him, actually. He didn't have a fighting chance.

  8. #58
    meh Salomé's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,540

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    It played out that way with my ENFJ cousin and his latest love, an INTP. I felt bad for him, actually. He didn't have a fighting chance.
    Do tell!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  9. #59
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTp
    Posts
    6,387

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    Do tell!

    hahaha, it was like watching a train wreck. I couldn't tell whose blood was whose.

    She never trusted that he was genuine because he was always out and about, and most of his friends are female. It wasn't that she was jealous in a normal sense, but he was outgoing in an abnormal sense. 2am the phone would ring from another damsel in distress and he'd run to be by her side. Idiot. That would set off any red-blooded woman, but he just didn't get it. He was trying to help, and that supersedes any other feelings.

    He needed so much attention. If she was quiet, he'd be quiet and just watch tv. But if she made one comment, he took that as an opening to talk her to death. And when she got visibly irritated, he would try to smooth things over by being cutesy in a very aggressive way, which set her off more because all she wanted was for him to pipe down. But the more she introverted, the more he extroverted. I suppose this tactic works on others - the dancing clown thing at kids' hospitals - but it so did not work on her.

    She would finally come around to sit and talk about real things and he would keep interrupting her with random cutesy nonsequitors. He would ask her serious questions and she would start off with a serious sentence, then he would go on a tangent that was otherwise unrelated and never bring it back home. So she would know better than to try and talk to him on a real level. And when she stopped trying, he felt shut out. But he never understood how he added to that situation.

    xNFJ men, in my experience, are lovely creatures until you say one semi-negative thing and they just *react* (no offense to OP, but your defensiveness was premature and predictable. I walked into the same trap with an INFJ yesterday. super defensive for no reason...) And for her part, when she withdrew, she just disappeared mentally. There was no getting through to her. And with him screaming about some supposed slight and her with her silent, blank stare, it was just a mess.

  10. #60
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,338

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    She never trusted that he was genuine because he was always out and about, and most of his friends are female. It wasn't that she was jealous in a normal sense, but he was outgoing in an abnormal sense. 2am the phone would ring from another damsel in distress and he'd run to be by her side. Idiot. That would set off any red-blooded woman, but he just didn't get it. He was trying to help, and that supersedes any other feelings.
    Jinkies.

    As soon as I read this, I was thinking, "Man, what a PUTZ." Relational pragmatism: He's free to race after all these women if he wants, but... that doesn't mean I'm gonna be around when he gets home.

    I'm not even sure why he's routinely taking emo calls at 2am in the morning anyway. He's not a freaking surgeon or ER doc or the President of the US, you know.


    ... the more she introverted, the more he extroverted.
    Yay! yay! The Deathly Descending Dance of Doom and Destruction!!!

    I suppose this tactic works on others - the dancing clown thing at kids' hospitals - but it so did not work on her.
    Sorta like when Bluto breaks a bottle on his head in Animal House to cheer up Flounder?

    She would finally come around to sit and talk about real things and he would keep interrupting her with random cutesy nonsequitors. He would ask her serious questions and she would start off with a serious sentence, then he would go on a tangent that was otherwise unrelated and never bring it back home. So she would know better than to try and talk to him on a real level. And when she stopped trying, he felt shut out. But he never understood how he added to that situation.
    not good. Although the older ones I've known are very sensitive and feel out the person they're with, they wouldn't behave that way on a consistent basis.

    And for her part, when she withdrew, she just disappeared mentally. There was no getting through to her.
    Well, if you feel that you have no choice but to withdraw into silence, and communication is the actual area that you're continuously getting hurt on, and the only way to change things is to communicate?

    ...It's doomed.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] What do XNFXs look like? X)
    By sacklome in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 08-27-2015, 01:43 PM
  2. What do you look like on the inside?
    By Fluffywolf in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 69
    Last Post: 06-28-2012, 09:06 AM
  3. EEG Brainwaves and Personality Type: What would they look like+Neurofeedback changes?
    By Kenneth Almighty in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-24-2011, 05:13 PM
  4. [ENFP] old ENFPs-what do they look like?
    By sculpting in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-25-2009, 01:58 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO