I can relate, also. Unfortunately, though, I am not gay. My life would be so much simpler if I were...
I can relate to the falling fast and hard..I actually like the idea of a stable relationship, as long as the guy doesn't expect me to do too much socializing or acting typically "girlie" for him to impress his friends, like so many- TOO many - guys expect women to act.
A guy who doesn't have a problem with being grabbed by the neck and smooched violently every now and then would be more my type.
Also, I would add.. INTPs in general don't want to waste too much time and energy on relationships...so, even when they are madly in love, the other person, or anybody around the INTP might just be completely unaware of these inner flames, because the INTP is probably more caught up in improving his/her work status, or just plain lost in thought..the lack of restlessness in an INTP's behavior is the best compliment you can get, because it suggests he/she feels safe with you and can now focus on the work life..
Another thing I wanna mention, I don't know if this happens to other INTP women, but I have often been treated like an idiot by people simply because I act so un-characteristic for a "young woman" of 21..my parents, especially, seem to think I am dumb because I usually hate about 99% of people from my age group, and don't show any open interest in romance..
Also, I am always brutally honest, even when the average girl my age would see fit to nod and smile idiotically to get away easily.
In short, I'm the kid who yells "the emperor is naked" all the time.
I just feel like I shouldn't be wasting my time with imaginary problems like diplomacy, social graces, being "proper"...
Also, I think the main reason why people take me for dumber than I am is because I possess the legendary INTP absent-mindedness, so much so that I make really silly mistakes at time..in day to day issues.
One of the most retarded incidents I can remember-one that really made me feel embarrassed - happened when I was 14, and was waiting in line to pick up my very first identity card, and it was taking a loong time, and the whole time I was in my head, of course, as usual, thinking about the things I had just read in a recently purchased book on astrology, and while I was sitting there, making calculations on the dates of birth of everybody I knew, trying to figure out where their Moon sign was, and what their Sun sign was, a guy in front of me turned around and asked me what the date was..and I was so far inside my own head, I only heard something about the date, and since I was just thinking about astrology, I asked, like woken from a trance, "sorry, you want to know my birth date?" . I will never forget the expression on the man's face, kind of like the way people look at children with Down syndrome, a mix of pity and repulsion..in my head, I was laughing out loud, of course.
Another time -though, thankfully, nobody was on to me this time, I was running late for an evening class in my first year at college-thank God it was dark outside- and I just pulled on the pair of pants I found thrown on a sofa in my room, and went to class. On the way back home, I kept getting this feeling like there was something heavy pulling on my right leg every time I would lift it up, and I payed little attention, since I was, again, in my head...
Then, when I finally get off the bus, just across the street from my building, I saw it: a pair of stockings was half hanging out from out of my right leg, and since it had been raining, and the streets were all puddles, they had gotten all wet and heavy, and were jumping around like a yo-yo..ahahaha.
Thank God there was nobody around, since it was like really late, and cold, and had started to rain. but it was otherwise funny.
On the other hand, I solved math problems that the teacher was having trouble with..
And back to the looking like an idiot thing, in middle school, and even high school, I feel teachers got this impression that I was some major nerd who got occasional high grades on the 2 or 3 subjects I found interesting because I learned books by heart, or learned maths proofs by heart, and I have no idea why.
My take on it has always been that they just hadn't seen anyone as unusual as me...