[NT] Need Help

[deepthought]

I'm starting to have a little bit of a problem for me, my F for some reason is really starting to show itself. I mean it's not like i don't like it, It's not as bad as it seems, I'm starting to see myself as a happier less pessimistic person and its becoming easier to socialize and stuff. Could anyone tell me how to develop my F but still have T/F balanced?

 

[thisGuy]

I'm starting to have a little bit of a problem for me, my F for some reason is really starting to show itself. I mean it's not like i don't like it, It's not as bad as it seems, I'm starting to see myself as a happier less pessimistic person and its becoming easier to socialize and stuff. Could anyone tell me how to develop my F but still have T/F balanced?

just let it play out. observe but don't try to control

you are dominantly NT, so it will balance out in by itself

 

[Asterion]

I'm starting to have a little bit of a problem for me, my F for some reason is really starting to show itself. I mean it's not like i don't like it, It's not as bad as it seems, I'm starting to see myself as a happier less pessimistic person and its becoming easier to socialize and stuff. Could anyone tell me how to develop my F but still have T/F balanced?

Was this little F about 3 foot 2 inches and covered from head to foot in fluffy pink fur?

How can you really associate this with F? This seems more like growth to me, or at the very least, you've stepped out of this tertiary temptation thing...

 

[Totenkindly]

just let it play out. observe but don't try to control
you are dominantly NT, so it will balance out in by itself

That...

How can you really associate this with F? This seems more like growth to me, or at the very least, you've stepped out of this tertiary temptation thing...

...and that.

Change is disorientating, especially if you're used to being a thinker type predominately. The detachment can create social issues and dissatisfaction and loneliness, but when you start to become more social and enjoy interacting on a new whole level (to you), it can feel like you're moving away from "yourself" and losing the self that you knew.

I know as I made that transition from approaching everything through raw intellect, I even started to feel "stupider" in some ways. I wasn't actually dumber, I just was approaching things more through other forms of evaluation and being less rigorous about the "raw rationality" assessment process and treating myself and others as more human.

Ultimately I think, the goal is for you to be happy, healthy, and effective as a human being... whatever that entails. I also believe that being in balance is healthier than being at an extreme; at the very least, you're more well-rounded and capable of dealing with a variety of things and branching out.

Could you explain a little more what you mean by keeping T/F balanced, if there is more to it?

 

[INA]

5!
stars!

 

[jenocyde]

You can, and do, have both. It's jarring at first to find out you care, but it's kind of nice after a while.

My Fe came out in the most weird way, kind of like a boy's voice cracking in puberty. I was taking up random crusades and trying to manipulate/mind control people to my new way of thinking. It was weird. I basically cared but had no idea how to express it in any way that wasn't forceful.

I remember the first time I hugged someone solely because they were crying and it simply made me feel sad, instead of thinking that they were a drama queen/attention whore.

It just takes patience and practice. But your T is going nowhere.

 

[Asterion]

You can, and do, have both. It's jarring at first to find out you care, but it's kind of nice after a while.

My Fe came out in the most weird way, kind of like a boy's voice cracking in puberty. I was taking up random crusades and trying to manipulate/mind control people to my new way of thinking. It was weird. I basically cared but had no idea how to express it in any way that wasn't forceful.

I remember the first time I hugged someone solely because they were crying and it simply made me feel sad, instead of thinking that they were a drama queen/attention whore.

It just takes patience and practice. But your T is going nowhere.

I'd swear that Fe thing happened to me about half a year ago, I can't quite remember what it was, but I suddenly decided that the way I dealt with people up until that point, was completely abusive or something, and I ended up painting one of my friends into an asshole in the process of 'changing his behavior' , and then eventually forced myself to apologize after discussing the whole thing with an INFJ. But I think I apologized because it would make me look better . Damn, I'm still an asshole...

I'd probably never hug someone like that though... , I'd be more likely to try to make jokes or something I think, I'm not sure. Maybe I do need to work on my Fe a bit.

 

[jenocyde]

I'd swear that Fe thing happened to me about half a year ago, I can't quite remember what it was, but I suddenly decided that the way I dealt with people up until that point, was completely abusive or something, and I ended up painting one of my friends into an asshole in the process of 'changing his behavior' , and then eventually forced myself to apologize after discussing the whole thing with an INFJ. But I think I apologized because it would make me look better . Damn, I'm still an asshole...

I'd probably never hug someone like that though... , I'd be more likely to try to make jokes or something I think, I'm not sure. Maybe I do need to work on my Fe a bit.

Aww, but that's the Fe for ya. And being 3rd on the list means it's a bit more calculated. I assure you that I did not want to hug this person, but after studying chick flicks, I realized that this is probably what she wanted and she did. Don't get me wrong, I sincerely felt sad that she was sad, but I tore that page out of "empathy 101". So I identify with your apologizing for appearances sake thingy. I have strong feelings but I still stumble over how they are supposed to play a role in the grand scheme of things.

And since I have only shown physical affection to romantic partners, I am not sure how to show it to non-romantic partners. I get very awkward and clumsy and weird. But I'm compelled to keep trying. I once yelled at someone for not letting me hug them. I actually screamed "you're sad, and you're my friend, so you *will* hug me goddammit!!!".

 

[JAVO]

Could anyone tell me how to develop my F but still have T/F balanced?

Let Ne express itself too. It'll complement the F and help you to just roll with it.

 

[Amargith]

Aww, but that's the Fe for ya. And being 3rd on the list means it's a bit more calculated. I assure you that I did not want to hug this person, but after studying chick flicks, I realized that this is probably what she wanted and she did. Don't get me wrong, I sincerely felt sad that she was sad, but I tore that page out of "empathy 101". So I identify with your apologizing for appearances sake thingy. I have strong feelings but I still stumble over how they are supposed to play a role in the grand scheme of things.

And since I have only shown physical affection to romantic partners, I am not sure how to show it to non-romantic partners. I get very awkward and clumsy and weird. But I'm compelled to keep trying. I once yelled at someone for not letting me hug them. I actually screamed "you're sad, and you're my friend, so you *will* hug me goddammit!!!".

*amused look*

This is too adorable

 

[jenocyde]

She told me later that she didn't like when I hugged her because it felt like I was trying to crush her and wipe my face on her at the same time.

 

[BlackCat]

Take the NTP's advice in this thread.

You are getting more mature as an INTP. Congrats.

 

[amelie]

I know for the T's in my life, when the F comes out, it's a little overwhelming. Maybe just realize that all feelings are okay, it's just what you do with them that matters (so as long as you don't go pounding doors in or drunk dialing or whatever, you are going to be okay). Also, that no matter how intense a feeling is, it will always pass. Think about children - one minute they are in the throws of pure frustration and throwing a huge tantrum, and 3 minutes later they can be joyful. Sometimes, trying to block the emotion actually makes it harder to overcome. Other than that, I think you just have to get more practice being in touch with your feelings.

 

[jenocyde]

She told me later that she didn't like when I hugged her because it felt like I was trying to crush her and wipe my face on her at the same time. Go figure.

 

[TSDesigner]

For INTP's, Fe is the 4th most important function.
For INTJ's, Fe is the 7th, next to last.
For ENTP's, Fe is 3rd.
For ENTJ's, Fe is 8th, dead last.

That explains a lot doesn't it?
Except I wouldn't have guessed it was 4th for INTP's.

 

[BlackCat]

For INTP's, Fe is the 4th most important function.
For INTJ's, Fe is the 7th, next to last.

This is about F in general. For INTJs Fi is the third, but you knew that. I'd say it's pretty damn important to you people too.

 

[LotsOfHeart]

My advice would be similar to what others have told you, I would say. Welcome the change in your personality and let nature take its course. Ironically, I'm going through some similar to you, except the complete opposite. I was/am a pretty high feeling person, but as of recently have been making a lot of development to my rational side. I simply got tired of taking everything super-personally. One thing I like about NTs is that they don't typically take things too personally, you guys seem to look at things very rationally and logically without getting your feelings caught into the mix most of the time. Honestly, it helps you find a lot of answers that feelers have more trouble finding. For me, the thinking has been an important skill to develop, and since I have been working on it, I have realized that I am actually a happier person, because I am not taking everything quite so personally. I just enjoy life as a journey, or even a puzzle, where I'm trying to put the pieces together. If two pieces don't fit, you don't get mad, you just keep looking for the piece that does. It helps you find the answer because your brain remains clear throughout.

Back to you. The feeling side is important too. It allows you to be more aware of how people feel, so you can treat them better. Most people appreciate when you take their feelings into account before acting; even thinking types. Being in touch with the feelings of others greatly helps your relationships with other people. It doesn't mean you have to be a "90's man, who cries when he wants to," but it's an opportunity to for you to get to know other people better, and get to know yourself better as well. Since you appear to be really thinking-oriented, and also that Fe is your least dominant function, I wouldn't worry about your feeling side taking over. The odds are definitely against it.