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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by MonkeyGrass View Post
    Stolen from the SP thread...

    Not the same as how to seduce! (I thought I'd clarify, since there's already a thread like that) You guys are so hard to read sometimes, it's tough to know when you're feeling good in a relationship. I'm genuinely curious and all ears. :popcorn:
    Hi.. for me.. I feel appreciated when My partner shows their appreciation.. I know that sounds simplistic.. But deep down we are not so complicated..

    If i have done something you appreciate .. SHOW IT!!!.. reaffirm it ... OR do something in return you know I appreciate .. The worst thing for me.. is to feel undervalued.. or that effort I put in is just taken for granted..

    And stop looking at our face for emotion.. listen instead to our voice.. if it goes deep but soft.. If I have trouble suddenly meeting your gaze.. If I suddenly seem very interested in that little dust bunny in the corner.. I am in a right emotional place.. And would be putty in your hands if you saw and understood that..

    Emotion comes very easy and very deep for INTJs.. But expressing it requires effort..and that is the full circle.. appreciate the effort.. and more emotion will come

  2. #42
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    I wish I knew...

    I have an INTJ friend who's a gardener who also collects tools. Two years ago I went to a nursery and consulted a salesperson about a useful gardening tool for her birthday. I sent some small clippers to my friend who liked them.

    Last year I went to the same nursery and asked for a follow-up gift and explained what I'd given before. The clerk recommended a leather holster for the clippers. I sent it off, but heard nothing.

    Eventually I asked if she'd gotten the holster. She told me she had unwrapped it and wondered what she was going to do with such a thing (yes, she actually spelled it out just like that). Then she said her husband had started using the holster, at which point she realized it was a useful gift and she asked for it back. She told me he was so taken with it in fact, he coveted one for himself.

    Before that experience I would have said "take the time to find out the INTJ's hobby and ask an expert what would be useful" (I see NTJs as lovers of tools). But now I haven't a clue.
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  3. #43
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jae Rae View Post
    I wish I knew...

    I have an INTJ friend who's a gardener who also collects tools. Two years ago I went to a nursery and consulted a salesperson about a useful gardening tool for her birthday. I sent some small clippers to my friend who liked them.

    Last year I went to the same nursery and asked for a follow-up gift and explained what I'd given before. The clerk recommended a leather holster for the clippers. I sent it off, but heard nothing.

    Eventually I asked if she'd gotten the holster. She told me she had unwrapped it and wondered what she was going to do with such a thing (yes, she actually spelled it out just like that). Then she said her husband had started using the holster, at which point she realized it was a useful gift and she asked for it back. She told me he was so taken with it in fact, he coveted one for himself.

    Before that experience I would have said "take the time to find out the INTJ's hobby and ask an expert what would be useful" (I see NTJs as lovers of tools). But now I haven't a clue.

    You have it right. The thoughtfulness behind your gift would be enough to make me . This is a specific instance of not being a very good friend on her part, perhaps being a little self-involved and thoughtless. (Though I'm sure she has good qualities too.)
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  4. #44
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack_Rabid View Post
    Hi.. for me.. I feel appreciated when My partner shows their appreciation.. I know that sounds simplistic.. But deep down we are not so complicated..

    If i have done something you appreciate .. SHOW IT!!!.. reaffirm it ... OR do something in return you know I appreciate .. The worst thing for me.. is to feel undervalued.. or that effort I put in is just taken for granted..

    And stop looking at our face for emotion.. listen instead to our voice.. if it goes deep but soft.. If I have trouble suddenly meeting your gaze.. If I suddenly seem very interested in that little dust bunny in the corner.. I am in a right emotional place.. And would be putty in your hands if you saw and understood that..

    Emotion comes very easy and very deep for INTJs.. But expressing it requires effort..and that is the full circle.. appreciate the effort.. and more emotion will come
    Jack, thanks for sharing something so personal. How, oh how, I wish I could fully get that. I spend a lot of my time feeling neglected and boring, because I get little or no facial/emotional feedback. I tend to assume that he thinks I'm the most asinine individual he's ever conversed with, and he's totally shocked when I give up and walk out of the room. **sigh** That's a really, really tricky aspect of INTJs that I have a hard time understanding. Everything on the outside is screaming "I could care less for you. Go away." I have trouble translating that to, "I'm interested, tell me more."
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  5. #45
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack_Rabid View Post
    Hi.. for me.. I feel appreciated when My partner shows their appreciation.. I know that sounds simplistic.. But deep down we are not so complicated..

    If i have done something you appreciate .. SHOW IT!!!.. reaffirm it ... OR do something in return you know I appreciate .. The worst thing for me.. is to feel undervalued.. or that effort I put in is just taken for granted..

    And stop looking at our face for emotion.. listen instead to our voice.. if it goes deep but soft.. If I have trouble suddenly meeting your gaze.. If I suddenly seem very interested in that little dust bunny in the corner.. I am in a right emotional place.. And would be putty in your hands if you saw and understood that..

    Emotion comes very easy and very deep for INTJs.. But expressing it requires effort..and that is the full circle.. appreciate the effort.. and more emotion will come



    And don't look at me weird if I need to write down how I feel. Sometimes it works better than attempting to speak and having it come out wrong. I don't need to do this often anymore but it's always an option.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  6. #46
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poppy View Post
    4) Making me mac n' cheese.
    Does Easy Mac count? Or do you need the full dealio?
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  7. #47
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    Does Easy Mac count? Or do you need the full dealio?
    Easy mac for sure (aka "Make your way into this INTJ's heart in approximately 9 minutes").

  8. #48
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poppy View Post
    Easy mac for sure (aka "Make your way into this INTJ's heart in approximately 9 minutes").
    You're my kind of woman.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  9. #49
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I've also found INTJs, once they trust you at least, to be incredibly physically affectionate (hugs, cuddles, etc), to the point where they *need* it when they feel down. That and one on one time, seems to be key
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  10. #50
    Senior Member ed111's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I've also found INTJs, once they trust you at least, to be incredibly physically affectionate (hugs, cuddles, etc), to the point where they *need* it when they feel down. That and one on one time, seems to be key
    This is very true. I give my girlfriend a hug at least 20 times a day. However, this is only for people close to me (mom, sister, girlfriend). I admit I am a hug junkie ... need ... a ... fix ... I'm going now to score a hug.

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