• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INTJ] INTJ + INTJ relationships.

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
However, I'd go so far as to say that if they cannot see the readily apparent fun in our style of flirting, that they don't know what they are missing out on, and that they should fix themselves first. ;)

Of course you would... typical. but adorable. :wubbie:
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Quick question.

Two of the same type pairing up, wouldn't that be too easy in a relationship.
I know when you first meet someone you wouldn't be able to type them immediately so you may just have that 'click'.
In this case though, i am going to dare to assume, you would know exactly what and how the other is thinking/feeling etc. Would that not take some of the fun, excitement, finding their quirks and flaws as you would kind of know who/where they are as you are so similar.
Also how would you grow as an individual if you are with someone so similar, the boundaries are all in place, so how would you learn to think from another perspective, ie your partners, when that perspective technically thinks like you?

Just an idea. :blush:
 

squibbles

New member
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
77
MBTI Type
INTJ
I had a one-step-away-from-a-relationship with another INTJ, and it took me a while to realize it, but the only thing about him that attracted me was his mind. I loved how much smarter he was than me, and I loved being able to debate about anything with him without him thinking I was being rude or taking things personally.

We were very similar, but in bad ways. We were both antisocial, rigid, awkward, and emotionally immature, but he was moreso than I was due to a rough childhood. So once I started to change, and he didn't, I felt stifled and like I was the one making all the effort to keep whatever we had between us healthy.

When I brought up the whole "what are we" issue, he claimed that he "didn't know" how he felt about me (despite inviting me to spend the weekend with him twice and holding my hand).

This was just my own experience, and I'm sure other INTJ+INTJ relationships can work, but I feel like the flaws an unhealthy INTJ has are particularly detrimental to relationships (as opposed to other types' flaws). I mean, if both people vehemently deny the existence of their emotions because it's the only way they can cope....well....it's doomed before it starts.
 

RenaiReborn

New member
Joined
May 29, 2009
Messages
495
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1w2
Quick question.

Two of the same type pairing up, wouldn't that be too easy in a relationship.
I know when you first meet someone you wouldn't be able to type them immediately so you may just have that 'click'.
In this case though, i am going to dare to assume, you would know exactly what and how the other is thinking/feeling etc. Would that not take some of the fun, excitement, finding their quirks and flaws as you would kind of know who/where they are as you are so similar.
Also how would you grow as an individual if you are with someone so similar, the boundaries are all in place, so how would you learn to think from another perspective, ie your partners, when that perspective technically thinks like you?

Just an idea. :blush:

Two of the same type pairing up isn't necessarily easy at all, in fact, I personally think that it would be one of the most difficult/challenging relationships. Assuming is a dangerous thing, lol.
Let's take this for an example then: You find that 'click' as you say, with someone, but don't definitively know their type. Then let's say you find out that they are the same type as you? Just because two individuals have the same type does not then imply that they have the same thoughts or feelings. You may know more of where they are 'coming from', as some say, but learning their type does not take anything significant away from learning their respective 'quirks and flaws'.
Yes, there is similarity, but it isn't exactly a perfect clone. You can learn something from anyone, and while their thought processes may be similar, and they make come to some of the same conclusions by the same methodology, that doesn't mean that you don't have a different perspective. Any healthy individual should be interested in growth and development anyway, or stagnation occurs. Therefore, while your idea is interesting, I do not share your view on said idea.
 

RenaiReborn

New member
Joined
May 29, 2009
Messages
495
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1w2
This was just my own experience, and I'm sure other INTJ+INTJ relationships can work, but I feel like the flaws an unhealthy INTJ has are particularly detrimental to relationships (as opposed to other types' flaws). I mean, if both people vehemently deny the existence of their emotions because it's the only way they can cope....well....it's doomed before it starts.

Healthy INTJs shouldn't vehemently deny the existence of emotions. But then again, unhealthy people of any type are detrimental to relationships as a whole. INTJs are not the only ones who will emotionally shut down and claim pure logic, after all.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
Quick question.

Two of the same type pairing up, wouldn't that be too easy in a relationship.
I know when you first meet someone you wouldn't be able to type them immediately so you may just have that 'click'.
In this case though, i am going to dare to assume, you would know exactly what and how the other is thinking/feeling etc. Would that not take some of the fun, excitement, finding their quirks and flaws as you would kind of know who/where they are as you are so similar.
Also how would you grow as an individual if you are with someone so similar, the boundaries are all in place, so how would you learn to think from another perspective, ie your partners, when that perspective technically thinks like you?

Just an idea. :blush:

Well, don't overlook the fact that you are talking about INTJs. Which means that you could in theory find two people that are not interested in the entire "soft" part of a relationship. Since they would concentrate more energy on high standards/efficiency. But they would be happy since the other side is not annoyed with the amount of calcultion.

But if you want ruthless efficiency then ENTJ/INTJ is probably better combination.
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Two of the same type pairing up isn't necessarily easy at all, in fact, I personally think that it would be one of the most difficult/challenging relationships. Assuming is a dangerous thing, lol.
Let's take this for an example then: You find that 'click' as you say, with someone, but don't definitively know their type. Then let's say you find out that they are the same type as you? Just because two individuals have the same type does not then imply that they have the same thoughts or feelings. You may know more of where they are 'coming from', as some say, but learning their type does not take anything significant away from learning their respective 'quirks and flaws'.
Yes, there is similarity, but it isn't exactly a perfect clone. You can learn something from anyone, and while their thought processes may be similar, and they make come to some of the same conclusions by the same methodology, that doesn't mean that you don't have a different perspective. Any healthy individual should be interested in growth and development anyway, or stagnation occurs. Therefore, while your idea is interesting, I do not share your view on said idea.

No, that is absolutely fine. Noted. I mentioned the assuming bit as i wanted people to be aware that was exactly what i was doing. As i don't actually know so i just thought i would put the idea across.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
I think that's probably the first time I've ever seen someone call us INTJs "adorable." :laugh:

We've said it but you've pretended not to hear it. Don't you remember that one time when you were 5... when you were sleeping?

I think...I'm burning?

I can get you some cream for that.

Kra- there are many more who think so. I suggest carrying around a bottle of sarcasm, but they're rapidly becoming immune.

The <dry> sarcasm will only get you a rolled up newspaper to the nose. Cut it out. A bit. If you guys ever want to get laid again, that is. Everything in moderation, you adorable puppies, you.
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Well, don't overlook the fact that you are talking about INTJs. Which means that you could in theory find two people that are not interested in the entire "soft" part of a relationship. Since they would concentrate more energy on high standards/efficiency. But they would be happy since the other side is not annoyed with the amount of calcultion.

But if you want ruthless efficiency then ENTJ/INTJ is probably better combination.

I am not arguing with you as i do see it from your point of view but softness aside concentrating on high standards and efficiency.
Idea. Same type relationship, driving down that long road, hit an occasional bump, so you deal with it and carry on. If however you go with a IxFP, yeah there will be more bumps, but you may learn so much more, not only about yourself but the other person as well.

Now bring in the Ni, Te, Fi stuff, how would your type bring out your weaknesses so able to work on them as you are going to have somewhat the same strengths and the same weaknesses. Yes, i know you can work on different bits.

Isn't that what relationships are all about. Learning.
Maybe i am not articulating myself very well.
Do/can you understand what i mean?
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
I am not arguing with you as i do see it from your point of view but softness aside concentrating on high standards and efficiency.
Idea. Same type relationship, driving down that long road, hit an occasional bump, so you deal with it and carry on. If however you go with a IxFP, yeah there will be more bumps, but you may learn so much more, not only about yourself but the other person as well.

Now bring in the Ni, Te, Fi stuff, how would your type bring out your weaknesses so able to work on them as you are going to have somewhat the same strengths and the same weaknesses. Yes, i know you can work on different bits.

Isn't that what relationships are all about. Learning.
Maybe i am not articulating myself very well.
Do/can you understand what i mean?

Well, this could be the truth in some cases. But it can also happen that strenghts could multiply themselfs since they as people are not witholding parts of their personality. Call me arrogant but I think you need to be an NTJ to fully grasp the withholding argumant if we are talking about NTJs.
Which means that if the strenghts could overpower the weaknesses by a large degree you will have stability/progress.
 

A Schnitzel

WTF is this dude saying?
Joined
Jun 4, 2008
Messages
1,155
MBTI Type
INTP
Well, this could be the truth in some cases. But it can also happen that strenghts could multiply themselfs since they as people are not witholding parts of their personality. Call me arrogant but I think you need to be an NTJ to fully grasp the withholding argumant if we are talking about NTJs.
Which means that if the strenghts could overpower the weaknesses by a large degree you will have stability/progress.

While I agree with you that INTJs could work well together in a relationship your argument doesn't make any sense. Strengths don't overpower weaknesses. That's not how relationships work at all. They're not video games.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
While I agree with you that INTJs could work well together in a relationship your argument doesn't make any sense. Strengths don't overpower weaknesses. That's not how relationships work at all. They're not video games.

Well I never claimed that this would be easy. That is why I said at the beginning that the only realistic way I can see it work is by having expressed and balanced INTJ.
Everything else that I have posted here is a speculation (at best).
 

Economica

Dhampyr
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,054
MBTI Type
INTJ
Alright, I can be more specific... what you just did, for instance. You indirectly challenged me in a direct way. You were dismissive while engaging me at the same time. You notice the details, or the lack thereof, and you present a situation that keeps the conversation going in a lighthearted manner. This is something that other types just don't get and it really makes me interested and screaming for more.

Coupled with the fact that it was embedded in a completely sarcastic but yet truthful sentence. You just can't argue with the logic presented - I truly wasn't specific, so I can't be offended or even accuse you of fishing for compliments. It was the perfect trap.

I'm not suggesting that you are flirting now, but if you chose to, you would be awesome at it. At least awesome according to my standards.

All right, I concede that what I did there was competently flirtatious. But then I dropped the ball by logging off at precisely the wrong time, and now I'm making you groan by overanalyzing it! :nerd:

Okay, fine, so you didn't groan. But that's only because I spent like 20 minutes making this post come out just right. :blush:

INTJs can keep up with EXXPs only in writing or in our heads (or in your head, apparently ;)).
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
All right, I concede that what I did there was competently flirtatious. But then I dropped the ball by logging off at precisely the wrong time, and now I'm making you groan by overanalyzing it! :nerd:

Okay, fine, so you didn't groan. But that's only because I spent like 20 minutes making this post come out just right. :blush:

INTJs can keep up with EXXPs only in writing or in our heads (or in your head, apparently ;)).

Hahaha, it took you that long, but it was totally worth the wait - in my head.

(and yes, I groaned slightly. good call!! but I wonder what you were going to go with the first time around...did you save the rough draft? who am I kidding, we both know you did.)

:hug: <------- imagine me giving that to you in a flying leap, ok?
 

Economica

Dhampyr
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,054
MBTI Type
INTJ
Hahaha, it took you that long, but it was totally worth the wait - in my head.

(and yes, I groaned slightly. good call!! but I wonder what you were going to go with the first time around...did you save the rough draft? who am I kidding, we both know you did.)

I'd totally banter back, but then I'd be disproving my point and hence WRONG...

:hug: <------- imagine me giving that to you in a flying leap, ok?

... So you'll have to settle for a startled and sheepish but quite willing :hug: back.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
I'd totally banter back, but then I'd be disproving my point and hence WRONG...

... So you'll have to settle for a startled and sheepish but quite willing :hug: back.

tsk tsk, may I remind you that you did not actually make a point worth arguing? So you are WRONG by default for disproving one. Which is why you guys totally need an ENTP to keep you looking alive! :wink:

But I will settle for the startled sheepish hug... for now.
 

Economica

Dhampyr
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,054
MBTI Type
INTJ
tsk tsk, may I remind you that you did not actually make a point worth arguing? So you are WRONG by default for disproving one. Which is why you guys totally need an ENTP to keep you looking alive! :wink:

But I will settle for the startled sheepish hug... for now.

:ohmy: Nooo, you ruined my next line by taking just as long to reply as I did before! You gotta give me a fighting chance here! :dry: :puppy_dog_eyes:

:)D BBL.)
 
Top