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[INTJ] INTJ + INTJ relationships.

Hetha

New member
Joined
Mar 10, 2013
Messages
28
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Thank you. :) It's good to know that it's appreciated. I love my kids, no matter how old they think they are getting, they will always be my babies. :wubbie: I will always be proud of them, no matter what they pursue, and I hope I've raised them right. I was careful not to be too heavy-handed with discipline, and allowed them plenty of freedom and autonomy to pursue their own interests and encouraged them(not too hard-I was gentle) in every way possible. I wanted them to be happy most of all, and proud of themselves in their own accomplishments.

As far as my husband, our relationship while we have "so very much in common," music, games, philosophy, activities, companionable silence, sci-fi, cult classic tv shows, (Dr. Who, Twilight Zone, Outer Limits, etc.)and weirdly enough, we both wanted to be astronauts as children. We also base our relationship on mutual respect and dignity for each other. We understand each other innately and precisely on a very deep level, that when I find him in his "zone" working on a pc or laptop, or programming in a new language he is learning, I both admire him and leave him be to work on it. He does that with me, when I repair our vehicles, work on a new recipe in the kitchen that I found, or start a science project and lets me work also in my "zone" because he understands it. :hug:
 

Scheherezade

Member
Joined
Mar 25, 2013
Messages
156
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
i am currently in a relationship with an INTJ, for about 2 years and it`s not all pink cotton candy, if we have different opinions on something we will eventually agree to disagree, but after we`re both at wits end, it`s frustrating sometimes, also when we work together towards something it`s intense and satisfying, but i would not see myself married to an INTJ
unfortunately i don`t have any INTJ friends to tell you about :)
 

theunicorn

New member
Joined
Jul 27, 2015
Messages
1
MBTI Type
INTJ
I'm an INTJ dating an INTJ

I began seeing this guy, and I made him take the test. He turned out to be an INTJ, just like me. This is the first time, I tried dating an introvert, since the first time I ever dated. I usually like to date the opposite of me. I like extroverts or just more adventurous men because I like to be pushed to new things, I like to experience new activities, feelings, emotions, etc. As an Intj, I get too comfortable keeping myself to a routine and a small corner, which I don't notice I am doing, and I do this simply cause I like to control everything. I like control. I'll do new things on my own, only if I know, I'll be able to control the situation. But having a person encourage you to try more new things without over thinking the specifics and consequences can be very refreshing, and also, scary as hell.

Now, this intj guy I am now seeing, he is very much like me. I think he might be more intj then i am. I can definitely fake an extrovert exterior because in my life it has been necessary. It drains me to the point that I get terrible headaches. But it also makes life more bearable, hell, even amusing sometimes. But he doesnt do that. He does not try to fake anything, and thats what I love about him. He just is who, he is. If he feels something, he'll tell me. He doesn't think it might be embarrassing or it make make him seem weak. Yeah, sometimes the way he says this things sound very robotic. Very straight forward. But I think I believe him because he's too honest in everything else. I am more of a power fiend then he is. I only admit my feelings after he does. And everytime I talk about feelings and emotions, I feel stupid. Like I'm naked and vulnerable. But he isnt afraid of that. He just says how he feels, when he feels it. And I create a whole strategy on how to avoid talking about feelings. I guess, thats the only real difference between him and I, that I've seen so far.

Dating's always been very hard for me. I don't get how I'm suppose to share myself with someone. I guess, I've always been too selfish. Also, I never think anyone's good enough.

He likes how alive I am. This is the first time I've been the more adventurous one in the relationship. I try to push him to try new things.

My favorite part, however, is how comfortable I feel about being myself with him. I've never felt this much freedom with being honest in a relationship.
 

Fishpoo2

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2016
Messages
2
MBTI Type
INTJ
I am an INTJ, in a relationship with another INTJ. So far, it has gone really well. We understand how each of us need our alone time, and meet up/ message each other with the perfect frequency as a result of this. It did however take about half a year to move from liking each other to actually being in a relationship, probably because we needed to go on lots of dates to suss out whether the other person was what we wanted or not. The only drawback is that we are both a bit slow at initiating anything physical. It simply won't happen unless we have talked/planned about it before hand. Although this is one of the biggest frustrations I have with myself, knowing that he is almost definitely feeling the same way makes it easy to understand the situation for what it is. And once the situation is understood it can be solved. So as long as we put effort into making these sorts of moves it works out. Other than that, we value each other's ability to achieve and our sense of humour, plus we have a deep understanding of each other's personalities and biggest struggles because we have both been through it. As long as you are willing to work on your patheticness at expressing feelings together, an INTJ INTJ relationship can be very successful.
 

Kullervo

Permabanned
Joined
May 15, 2014
Messages
3,298
MBTI Type
N/A
What would they do; stare at each other?

How could two INTJs even get a relationship off the ground? I guess, perhaps, an INTJ woman might consider making things obvious in a way which leaves no room for interpretation, such as shoving her hand down the guy's pants and blankly saying: "I am attracted to you".
 

Fishpoo2

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2016
Messages
2
MBTI Type
INTJ
Basically you just tell them blatantly that you like them, once you have reached breaking point and have too many urges to not say anything any longer. It is the only way, but it works, because we like honesty. Once you know your type you can use it to your advantage.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
What would they do; stare at each other?

How could two INTJs even get a relationship off the ground? I guess, perhaps, an INTJ woman might consider making things obvious in a way which leaves no room for interpretation, such as shoving her hand down the guy's pants and blankly saying: "I am attracted to you".
We tend to be a little classier than all that. We might start by having lunch or coffee together, at work or school if that applies. If that seems promising, we might invite him to a concert or planetarium show, maybe the art museum. Then perhaps something outdoors like hiking. If a few such encounters go well, then we say how we feel, and ask for more.
 

gdfbacchus

New member
Joined
Sep 11, 2016
Messages
1
MBTI Type
INTJ
What would they do; stare at each other?

How could two INTJs even get a relationship off the ground? I guess, perhaps, an INTJ woman might consider making things obvious in a way which leaves no room for interpretation, such as shoving her hand down the guy's pants and blankly saying: "I am attracted to you".

I'm an INTJ who is in a serious relationship with another INTJ. Our relationship took off quickly once it started but that's likely because we had been good friends for a couple years previously while both in other relationships and didn't start being romantically inclined until we were both single. That being said, she definitely did make things incredibly obvious leaving no room for interpretation when things got going.
 

Dolce vita

New member
Joined
Mar 13, 2013
Messages
18
MBTI Type
INFJ
Yes sure it can work well. My parents are both INTJs: a theoretical mathematician and a lawyer. They've been married for 47 years and are still in love! I think they are ideally suited as they each like their independent time and are not hurt by that but also share simple pleasures together. This is not to say they haven't had a few hiccups in half a century. She actually is a good flirt because to her it's an intellectual mind game with the man. Things like chores, care taking and meals are a challenge for the, but thank goodness for takeout! God bless. [emoji177]


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