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  1. #51
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I don't know if it really is low self esteem, actually. But that thing about not enjoying having a self rings many chords in me.
    Yes, but self-denial is often the result of poor self-esteem.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  2. #52
    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    You are INFJ so I know you're likely genuine and appreciate that. However, I know you guys also can't help being nice! :steam:

    I don't know if other ENTP's are like this, but I always assume that if people like me too much than they don't really know me.
    Yes, I'm genuine. I also tend to look for the good things in people and ignore the not-so-good things. Therefore, even if I really knew you, I would probably still tend to focus on your good qualities and ignore the rest. That seems to be my default mode of dealing with people.

  3. #53
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    Yes, I'm genuine. I also tend to look for the good things in people and ignore the not-so-good things. Therefore, even if I really knew you, I would probably still tend to focus on your good qualities and ignore the rest. That seems to be my default mode of dealing with people.
    I admire that. I am trying to learn it.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  4. #54
    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I admire that. I am trying to learn it.

  5. #55
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Yes, but self-denial is often the result of poor self-esteem.
    I'm not in self denial, but it's more like I wish I could transcend the self. I just get bored so easily that I withdraw. I think it boils down to me not wanting to always be the entertainment.

  6. #56
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I'm not in self denial, but it's more like I wish I could transcend the self. I just get bored so easily that I withdraw. I think it boils down to me not wanting to always be the entertainment.
    But why should you want to entertain people in the first place? What does that give you?
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  7. #57
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    But why should you want to entertain people in the first place? What does that give you?
    You know what I mean... It doesn't give me anything. But you know how it is - people must do the same to you. Invite you places because you are so lively or whatever. Then after a while, you sit back and think "what the hell do I get out of this???" and then you withdraw. At first, it's cool to be the center of attention, then you just realize how pathetic everyone else is. (sad to say, but it's the truth from my perspective) So then you sit back and analyze and deconstruct and pick apart, which causes further withdrawal. Then this lethargy sets in where you wish you could just transcend this physical plane for a bit. Or maybe it's just me.

  8. #58
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    You know what I mean... It doesn't give me anything. But you know how it is - people must do the same to you. Invite you places because you are so lively or whatever. Then after a while, you sit back and think "what the hell do I get out of this???" and then you withdraw. At first, it's cool to be the center of attention, then you just realize how pathetic everyone else is. (sad to say, but it's the truth from my perspective) So then you sit back and analyze and deconstruct and pick apart, which causes further withdrawal. Then this lethargy sets in where you wish you could just transcend this physical plane for a bit. Or maybe it's just me.
    This only used to happen when I was drinking more, which I was doing when I was feeling like shit and lonely. Then I was the entertainment. Impromptu dance parties, etc. I felt like I had to be crazy just to keep people interested. I would push the envelope in a very dangerous way because I really didn't care about anything in my own life. I always cared about everyone having a good time, but I was just acting a role. Now that I've stopped drinking and getting into things they just invite me to hang out and do stuff.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #59
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    This only used to happen when I was drinking more, which I was doing when I was feeling like shit and lonely. Then I was the entertainment. Impromptu dance parties, etc. I felt like I had to be crazy just to keep people interested. I would push the envelope in a very dangerous way because I really didn't care about anything in my own life. I always cared about everyone having a good time, but I was just acting a role. Now that I've stopped drinking and getting into things they just invite me to hang out and do stuff.
    It has nothing to do with alcohol, for me. I think people see me as some strange novelty. I don't know. I guess our reasons are different, but the end result is the same.

  10. #60
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    It has nothing to do with alcohol, for me. I think people see me as some strange novelty. I don't know. I guess our reasons are different, but the end result is the same.
    Do you mean they don't see the real you? Or, what do you mean? Why would they see you as a strange novelty?
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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