[INTP] How to seduce as an INTP

[Edgar]

Overall she wasn't interested and gave me the "i have boyfriend" excuse.

[YOUTUBE="4faSs0mg_pI"]She has a boyfriend[/YOUTUBE]

 

[The Decline]

You are joking, right?

Who, Edgar? Perish the thought!

 

[Wild horses]

How can you NOT be seducing if you're an INTP??!!!

 

[Forgetful Functor]

How can you NOT be seducing if you're an INTP??!!!

We're a lot slower than most to build social confidence. A LOT slower. I think I'm probably not alone in that understanding MBTI has made it easier to accept the way I am and then get to work on/with it.

Who, Edgar? Perish the thought!

Hah, okay, I see how it is..

 

[Wild horses]

We're a lot slower than most to build social confidence. A LOT slower. I think I'm probably not alone in that understanding MBTI has made it easier to accept the way I am and then get to work on/with it.

But isn't that what makes you guys hot!?

 

[Forgetful Functor]

But isn't that what makes you guys hot!?

I donno, is it? We're lost when it comes to this stuff, we need you to spell it out for us. =D

 

[Edgar]

I donno, is it?

No, not really.

She's just being a ENFP sycophant.

 

[Spamtar]

I wasn't going to hit on any girls till I read those books and "master" the whole thing but i saw really cute girl at the market and had to say something and all i could think of was that stupid ass pick up line. It kinda worked but i didn't plan what i was going to say next. Overall she wasn't interested and gave me the "i have boyfriend" excuse. bullshi# i'm pretty sure she didn't had one just wanted me to leave her alone

Edger's video clip is a great extreme example on why not continuing to game girls with boyfriends is ludicrous. (program this in your head)

In fact girls with boyfriends are better then girls without boyfriends. If they aint got a ring it don't mean a thing.(at least have this in your mindset). Her telling you she has a BF can mean many things. Only "one" is that she is not interested in dating/talking to you. And if she is not interested sexually and you don't have anything better to do, make friends anyway; she probably has some hot girl friends, might even be a good friend/pivot.

Also you can have sexual interest but (as another poster already mentioned) never project it so early. Just be friendly. Even if she is looking at you like she wants to do you right there in aisle 3. You will soon discover this is the easy part after you get approach/opener basics down.

Don't kick yourself, rejection is good thing to get used to in the beginning.

Lose fear of rejection and you will appear to have what is called "confidence"

Also Google: Boyfriend Destroying Patterns

 

[Forgetful Functor]

Also Google: Boyfriend Destroying Patterns

This is wrong and I would not do it. It definitely makes you sleazy and I'm sure smart (read: desirable) women can recognize it.

Platonic friendships are great, but there are more important reasons to have them, like oh, say, having a cool friend or just learning how to act chill around women (you know, 'cause they're just people). In fact, how can you even know what interesting women want if you don't have any interesting female friends?

On another note, I'm seeing confidence as a universally important social trait (skill?), not just something you should have to practice for alienating courtship rituals. When I think of those people to whom I am always drawn in social situations or those who I immediately begin to respect, confidence seems to be the universal attribute.

 

[cafe]

Wait, you don't want to be loved? Just provided for?

I see relationships (perhaps naively) as a partnership of equals. But you are right, it's probably more like a trade, and at least you are being honest about what you bring to the deal.
The incongruity, for me, is in the fact that most INTP women seem to be self-sufficient, almost to a fault. But I could see how you could rationalize an alternative lifestyle. I suppose if you know that you can always take care of yourself, if need be, then you are sacrificing nothing.

A partnership of equals doesn't always equal two people filling the same roles. Desiring security is not mutually exclusive with wanting to be loved.

I wanted to be pursued and provided for, but I was willing to reciprocate interest and I can and have made this family run and run well on a shoestring. We both bring stuff to the table, just not the same stuff.

As far as how to seduce as an INTP, I should know since I have four children by one, but nothing stands out. He introduced himself to me and we started talking and I liked him and was attracted to him.

I like that he is funny, kind, smart, and always has something interesting to talk about. He's also a good dad and has a good work ethic and thinks I'm pretty. Oh and he smells right to me, which I think is just a biological factor that is out of our control.

Spamtar: Would you trust a woman who could be gamed away from a BF to be your life partner?

 

[Falling Snow]

But and this is a big but...
before you get any of this stuff get this and apply it as soon and as often as you can.The Mystery Method: Amazon.co.uk: Erik von Markovik: Books. It will apply better to your engineering sensiblitites and works much quicker in the applicable venues (and not to different to mastering those video games you played as a teen). It will give you confidence and pretty quick results (it was very quick for me but then again I had a pretty extensive NLP background). After you discover how it works for pretty good also consider if you can recruit a wingman or if you live in a big city consider joining "a den".

I know it sounds a bit extreme yet this is a 21st century take on how to dominate a historically long perplexing conundrum (and likely a 21st century defense will eventually appear)

OK this is about picking up women - but what about actually forming a sustainable relationship or is fucking as many women as possible the only aim here?

Or is the idea that once you've done the pick-up you hope that you get on?

 

[The Decline]

We're a lot slower than most to build social confidence. A LOT slower. I think I'm probably not alone in that understanding MBTI has made it easier to accept the way I am and then get to work on/with it.

Just to further prove your point, I think Wild horses was hitting on you...

 

[Spamtar]

Spamtar: Would you trust a woman who could be gamed away from a BF to be your life partner?

This is a good question cafe.

The answer is: it would depend.

There is a spectrum of how men treat their women. I don't think most women who get picked up by other men are satisfied with the idea of a continued long term relationship as BF/GF.

Bad BFs don't deserve good GFs period.

Most BF/GF relationships are not trial runs for life partners (at least not in one of the partner’s minds) especially not in 20s or even early 30s. If they are in the GF mind it is very difficult to seduce her to have sex for any length of time.

Regardless if it was a good BF or not, I would trust her (or distrust her) on her own merits and not by the single act of cheating with me or other wise deciding she did not want to be monogamous with him any more.

However if a women had a modus operandi of cheating on individuals within committed relationships relatively consistently I would prefer not to add her to
my list of potential life partners.

When I choose a life partner I will know/she will know it is to happen after we form our own relationship and not mandated strictly limited to past relationships.

 

[Spamtar]

OK this is about picking up women - but what about actually forming a sustainable relationship or is fucking as many women as possible the only aim here?

Or is the idea that once you've done the pick-up you hope that you get on?

For me it was first about fucking and now it is (I know you won't believe me but its true) its about art. I am a hopeless case as far as relationships goes. Admittedly I am a bit of a roué.

I was not always this way. I wish someone told me how to pick up/seduce women when I was in my teens. I would not even tell this stuff to an INTP unless I sympathized for him. There is nothing in it for me besides competition.

But seriously, most who learn the craft will only learn the basics and the first girlfriend they find and have sex with they will hold tightly on in their little bond on neediness. It might work , it might not; I see it as less than ideal.

Ideally is for someone to learn more about themselves, what women is not right for their personality/compatibility, more about what makes women so fantastic, how to keep her happy, and ultimately settle down with and get married, have happy kids, a happy family, grandkids and never get divorced and not die alone.

 

[Forgetful Functor]

Just to further prove your point, I think Wild horses was hitting on you...

Exactly, I need time to get to know someone.

One of my best friends is ENFP though, so I'm fond of the type. He just radiates affirmation.

 

[think2much]

Edger's video clip is a great extreme example on why not continuing to game girls with boyfriends is ludicrous. (program this in your head)

In fact girls with boyfriends are better then girls without boyfriends. If they aint got a ring it don't mean a thing.(at least have this in your mindset). Her telling you she has a BF can mean many things. Only "one" is that she is not interested in dating/talking to you. And if she is not interested sexually and you don't have anything better to do, make friends anyway; she probably has some hot girl friends, might even be a good friend/pivot.

Also you can have sexual interest but (as another poster already mentioned) never project it so early. Just be friendly. Even if she is looking at you like she wants to do you right there in aisle 3. You will soon discover this is the easy part after you get approach/opener basics down.

Don't kick yourself, rejection is good thing to get used to in the beginning.

Lose fear of rejection and you will appear to have what is called "confidence"

Also Google: Boyfriend Destroying Patterns

I don't know what i would get out of just being "friends". I never really had any friends i could trust anyway. Besides i'm not looking for friends.

I been rejected for couple years now. It gets tough after awhile. I really don't have "fear of rejection" If i did I would have stop hitting on girls long time ago.

Right now I just feel what's the point. I know what the outcome is so why even bother. It has nothing to do with confidence just stats that's build up over the years.

I swear there is no other INTP who have gotten more rejection than i have.

 

[Salomé]

A partnership of equals doesn't always equal two people filling the same roles. Desiring security is not mutually exclusive with wanting to be loved.

You took my comments entirely out of context. I have nothing against stay-at-home moms.


I find it curious that you are all falling over yourselves to give this guy advice about how to pick women up. For all you know he could be Ted Bundy. The reason he isn't getting dates is because he doesn't know how to treat people with respect, and some of you are encouraging him to have even less. He hits on a random chick in a supermarket and automatically assumes she is lying when she says she has a boyfriend? Dude got issues. All he has done since he joined this board is whine and complain. He thinks the world owes him something. Newsflash: having sex with every woman you desire is not your birthright.
He acts like a jerk-off. Let him stick with what he knows.

 

[think2much]

he doesn't know how to treat people with respect

and you do?

Dude got issues

looks like your bigger issues. Newsflash: 99% of guys wants to have sex with beautiful woman and there's nothing wrong with that. Usually girls know if I'm using those pick up line to get in bed with her, if she interested than there's no harm. I seen how some guys treat woman and I'm no where close being an "asshole". Just because you disagree on something or have different opinion doesn't make me a less of a person.

At least i'm here for an advice(sure I whine about my situation but only to improve and get better). You don't even have slight idea what kind of emotions I'm going through with my situation. It seems like your here to bash people cause obviously your not here to help. Do you have nothing better to do with your life than posting negative comments on the forum. It looks like you enjoy arguing. I said this many times to you, if you don't have nothing nice to say don't say it.

he doesn't know how to treat people with respect

 

[think2much]

I'm sure you guys are thinking why not look for relationship rather than one night stand or just to date girls. Well if you read my previous post I have fallen in love before and the rejection was too painful for me(this is one of the reason I don't want to be "friends" with girls cause I'm afraid i would fall in love and not be able to get her). I would actully want to be in a relationship if I was with the right girl. Untill than why not have fun and date much as possible since i'm still "young". There's soo many girls in campus who's just dating around without wanting a relationship so why can't i?

 

[Amargith]

You can, if you're upfront about your intentions. Otherwise, you're an asshole. It's as simple as that