• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INTP] How to seduce as an INTP

MacGuffin

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
10,710
MBTI Type
xkcd
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'm not going to post my picture on internet so don't bother asking again.
You don't have to worry about what type of cloths i wear or how I look cause I pretty much have that down. How can I have confidence if i were ugly?
You'd be surprised.

Anyway, I'm getting a good idea of why you are striking out repeatedly.
 

rhinosaur

Just a statistic
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
1,464
MBTI Type
INTP
OMG, who talks about quantum mechanics in social-situation conversations??? And really, how does THAT work? "Your beauty reminds of Feynmann path integral formulation"? Why does QM have such an intellectual or whatever reputation? Physics has lots of topics, as does advanced mathematics. Other than quirkiness and the potential for philosophical interpreatations, what does QM really have going for it? Note: I took 4 years of QM in school.

"Your beauty reminds me of a tensor product. Now let us couple the wave equation to spin!"
"Baby, my ladder don't go below the ground state! Nor above the uppermost state!"
"You can index my spin states anytime you want!"
"I don't know everything about you and your hamiltonian, so lets approximate you with perturbation theory! How does first order time-independent sound? Giggity giggity giggity!"
"Your discussions about your eyeliner are more boring than sakurai. Heck, you make DJ Griffiths sound interesting!"
"Oh, I will show you quark confinement! strange and charm come and get me"
"I'll show YOU a Stern-Gerlach apparatus!"
"I'm more of a ladies man than Erwin Schrodinger! bow chicka wow wow"
and who can possibly forget
"Hey baby, wanna see my dirac delta function?"

threesome.png
 

Shimmy

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2009
Messages
1,867
MBTI Type
SEXY
I beg to differ to state most girls are not going to go on an instant date with him after 5-15 min talking.

As an alternative and build up rapport before a venue hop (even a little one i.e. within the club) sometimes I will take them on an "imaginary date". (i.e. tell them a story about what happens on our first date so they get comfortable with the idea. (at the end of the date they "date rape" me, lol)

So unless there is an extreme amount of sexual attraction or trust (or peer pressure), in general, the female target is not gonna go on a date then and there until more basic rapport is established.

Also: Looks/status/how your are perceived is important...but these things I addressing are basic social dynamic cues that you the seducer need to get a grip on before you set up your independent seduction strategy.

If your goal is to get a date in 15 minutes then yes, planning a date for a day later probably won't work. But am I the only one who doesn't mind talking to a girl for longer then that? I'm an introvert. I don't need or even want to score 4 dates an hour.

You can always substitute "comfort phase" with "chloroform phase".

It bypasses the social etiquette (INTP weakness), and instead deals with chemistry (INTP strength).

:yim_rolling_on_the_

@spamtar

I cannot go beyond small talk cause that would look desperate. I'm not one of those guys that chase girls. If girl shows no interest i move on. Why should I chase this girl, It should be the other way around. damn ego! I will not lower my standard by any means. I look at it in most simple form. I'm attractive to a girl, so does she. I ask her out and it's upto her to take it any farther if she wishes.

:doh:

That's a crappy attitude. If you're not genuinely interested in other people why even bother investing your time in them. There's nothing "desperate" about talking to people. And if looks and getting laid is all you want then go pay a hooker. On the other hand if you just don't know how to go beyond small talk, then it would seem to me that spamtar might have some advice for you. He seems confident enough about his skills.
 

Spamtar

Ghost Monkey Soul
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
4,468
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
@spamtar

I cannot go beyond small talk cause that would look desperate. I'm not one of those guys that chase girls. If girl shows no interest i move on. Why should I chase this girl, It should be the other way around. damn ego! I will not lower my standard by any means. I look at it in most simple form. I'm attractive to a girl, so does she. I ask her out and it's upto her to take it any farther if she wishes.


This is exactly how I "used to" feel. I hated small talk with a vengeance; in fact I didn’t know how to do it. I knew I was considered good looking and was confounded why women wouldn't ask me out on dates. To top it off I am and was an INTP and was considered aloof at best and socially awkward at worst.

I didn't know what the rules were besides TV (most likely written by geeks who couldn't get laid either) misinformation and mixed observations cliques inbreeding/breeding with other cliques. As an INTP I was in need of a "system".

"Systems" are very helpful for gaming. Systems are very helpful for INTPs (prolly INTJs too). I have tried defective systems in the pick up game and even they are better than no system.

Be it a cooking recipe, a method of driving to avoid traffic a video game cheating system a system becomes less about ego and more about results (and fun).

The game is unfair. Yet unfair isn't as bad when you can turn the unfairness to your advantage and dominate. Check the ego at the door and at least pick up Mystery's book (the easiest and most time effective of the strategies for short term game). Be true to your INTPness and turn and unfair disadvantage to the masses to positive angles that limits your competition. Take from others systems what works; throw away the rest and practice, practice, practice.

Trust me it is a lot more fun than sports/RTS/ or whatever else your doing for entertainment. I actually love women more from my trials and tribulations, not just how they look and feel but also their feminine energy. When you become a master of the game you will look back on your short fallings as a measuring stick on how far you have come and give yourself a well deserved pat on the back.
 

MacGuffin

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
10,710
MBTI Type
xkcd
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Check the ego at the door and at least pick up Mystery's book (the easiest and most time effective of the strategies for short term game).
Just make sure you ditch that crap once you figure out dating.
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
Don't need it. One great thing about ENFJs is they will usually let you know if they are interested. A few weeks ago I was walking along the street, shorts, sneakers, three+ weeks worth of stubble, chewing gum and doing a crazy kind of walk (thinking about something or other). I looked up and there was a hot woman smiling at me. I immediately knew she was an ENFJ. ENFJs are one of the few types that like quirky guys. Most other people would be thinking, what F#$K is wrong with this guy? She was also dressed like a doctor. There are a lot of ENFJ doctors. What I should have done right there was ask if I could guess her type. They like that.:D
 

Spamtar

Ghost Monkey Soul
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
4,468
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Just make sure you ditch that crap once you figure out dating.

He might not be far from the truth. :yes:

Its not to far a hop from mastering pick up and using it to get dates. The hard part is choosing what path to take once your get to the crossroads.

For example, you might get spoiled with hook ups and gaming girls may be an impediment to deciding to settle down for one courtship ritual for a monogamous relationship. Definitely having an alternative for easy sex is a crutch.

Rightfully or wrongfully I have made my choice. To this day I continue to prefer pick ups and hook ups to dating (or relationships). Even though I hang out with girls I have had sex with but clearly these are not dates in the traditional sense. I don't think it would be good for society if everyone did this. :jew:

At least it entertains me when I need it and gives me the alone time I need for introspection. I hope to settle down some day after I sow my wild oats a little bit more but now am too happy as things stand. What is more important than making society or family happy taking yourself to a place where you are happy.:)
 

The Decline

(☞゚∀゚)☞
Joined
Jun 3, 2009
Messages
780
MBTI Type
?
Enneagram
5w4
Allow me to elaborate on a method that has worked for me.

Step 1: Make friends
Step 2: One of these friends might take interest in you, and you to them (!)
Step 3: There is no step 3
 

Spamtar

Ghost Monkey Soul
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
4,468
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Allow me to elaborate on a method that has worked for me.

Step 1: Make friends
Step 2: One of these friends might take interest in you, and you to them (!)
Step 3: There is no step 3

Ok and what happens when you fall inside the dreaded "friend zone". Just making friends with attractive women is a good start developing rapport, but unless you make a move in a timely manner she will place you on the friend ladder which turns you into an "intellectual whore" (not my term, but I have been to that cantos of purgatory and don’t recommend it).
 

phthalocyanine

#005645
Joined
Jun 2, 2009
Messages
679
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx
only if you're significantly unattractive to her in some way, or are unwilling to express your feelings toward her..nothing's worse than knowing a guy is into you but won't own up to it.

- it's kind of a turn off if they think you want them, but you're not willing to at least try to get them - because if you really like someone, the assumption is that you will try. even if the odds are slim.

i've had a friend tell me he liked me before and i just told him the truth -that i saw him as a friend , but that i really appreciated his straightforwardness. can't knock a man for trying. (plus, it seems less creepy when they just tell you instead of giving you weird looks as if you never notice what that might mean)... i also gave him a hug. we're still friends, nothing horrific happened. life goes on.

only a cruel person would laugh in someone's face or gossip about it to everyone. unless there is a real fear of such rejection/humiliation, go for it. whether you come out victorious or not, you'll have clarity and probably also closure.
 

Spamtar

Ghost Monkey Soul
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
4,468
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
only if you're significantly unattractive to her in some way, or are unwilling to express your feelings toward her..nothing's worse than knowing a guy is into you but won't own up to it.

- it's kind of a turn off if they think you want them, but you're not willing to at least try to get them - because if you really like someone, the assumption is that you will try. even if the odds are slim.

i've had a friend tell me he liked me before and i just told him the truth -that i saw him as a friend , but that i really appreciated his straightforwardness. can't knock a man for trying. (lus, it seems less creepy when they just tell you instead of giving you weird looks as if tyou never notice what that might mean)... i also gave him a hug.

only a cruel person would laugh in someone's face or gossip about it to everyone. unless there is a real fear of such rejection/humiliation, go for it.whether you come out victorious or not, you'll have clarity and probably also closure.

I tend to agree with some of your points phthalocyanine. There are male friends who just hang out with the attractive girl as if they hope just by pure osmosis that the girl will eventually just have sex with them (or at least a hand job).

These men are called orbiters

Even if the guy had a chance in the first place, if he enters in the friend zone and is caught constantly checking out his bff ass or body checking her or petting her or doing whatever short of laying it on the line, it will creep her out. Enough women have been creeped out by their orbiters making untimely ladder jumps that it has anchored the negative association and the “no sex for guy friends" general chick rule.
 

The Decline

(☞゚∀゚)☞
Joined
Jun 3, 2009
Messages
780
MBTI Type
?
Enneagram
5w4
Ok and what happens when you fall inside the dreaded "friend zone". Just making friends with attractive women is a good start developing rapport, but unless you make a move in a timely manner she will place you on the friend ladder which turns you into an "intellectual whore" (not my term, but I have been to that cantos of purgatory and don’t recommend it).

The so-called "friend zone" is simply a term to denote that you have not tried to tell the girl that you feel stronger about her. Either you strike out or you don't.

There are male friends who just hang out with the attractive girl as if they hope just by pure osmosis that the girl will eventually just have sex with them (or at least a hand job).

These men are called orbiters

It's this creepy classification and perspective of social situations that will ultimately lead you into corners. Not all relations between people play out in a theoretical manner, and not all people are the same. This is why I gave the general guideline to just try to make friends. A deeper relationship, in my view, can only be started once you've made a connection on a basic level of interaction, and once you share understanding and interest. If you're really only after sex, then by all means go to the club and be a guido. But utilmately INTPs are not really cut out for this kind of action, and the classical route of friendship experimentation should be utilized.

Really, it's more rewarding. If an INTP can find another person who is genuinely interested and values their intellect and intuitive-quirky manner of observing the world, then this is an excellent thread to go on. Shared Fi values also tend to create an emotional bond of understanding between people, which I believe goes well with the strong Ti to interpret, justify, and stand behind those beliefs. In short, INTPs should not consider the traditional "player's handbook" method of "picking up chicks", because that's not what INTPs are good at.
 

Spamtar

Ghost Monkey Soul
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
4,468
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
The so-called "friend zone" is simply a term to denote that you have not tried to tell the girl that you feel stronger about her. Either you strike out or you don't.



It's this creepy classification and perspective of social situations that will ultimately lead you into corners. Not all relations between people play out in a theoretical manner, and not all people are the same. This is why I gave the general guideline to just try to make friends. A deeper relationship, in my view, can only be started once you've made a connection on a basic level of interaction, and once you share understanding and interest. If you're really only after sex, then by all means go to the club and be a guido. But utilmately INTPs are not really cut out for this kind of action, and the classical route of friendship experimentation should be utilized.

Really, it's more rewarding. If an INTP can find another person who is genuinely interested and values their intellect and intuitive-quirky manner of observing the world, then this is an excellent thread to go on. Shared Fi values also tend to create an emotional bond of understanding between people, which I believe goes well with the strong Ti to interpret, justify, and stand behind those beliefs. In short, INTPs should not consider the traditional "player's handbook" method of "picking up chicks", because that's not what INTPs are good at.


Some very good points and helpful elaboration on your initial point. Also tend to agreee being a pua is not the ideal long term vocation for most INTPs because it is very "draining".

That being said, an INTP creating or adopting a "system" (flawed or no). Makes it yards more interesting for them to do and plan, less frustrating, and last but not least actually has them choose and comit to one (or even two or three) target.
 

Zoom

Self sustaining supernova
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
1,045
Enneagram
9w8
Write a sexy text message halfway through the day.

Proceed to spend ten minutes deciding on which specific wording to use.

Look it over one last time for any spelling or grammatical errors (this takes less than a second).

Send.
 

think2much

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2009
Messages
239
MBTI Type
intp
most of you critcizing how shitty my attitude is can just keep it to yourself. I know i have flaws that's why i came here. Why would i be here in the first place if i were perfect.

@spamtar
thanks for all your feedback! I can really relate to what your saying. Although i don't quite understand the "system" or the "game". you seem like an expert at this stuff. Did you learn all this from experience?

INTPs should not consider the traditional "player's handbook" method of "picking up chicks", because that's not what INTPs are good at.

I beg to differ, INTP can be good at picking up girls. That skill can be learn with try and fail. I guess "look" has big role when it comes to picking up chicks.



You don't have to comment on anything if you don't want me in this place. I came here to learn cause i'm sick of making the same mistake over and over.
 

Risen

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
3,185
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9w8
Meh, fuck women. I'm much too lazy to seek one out at this point. Besides, a really loyal woman is going to show interest in you from the get go. The rest are just fodder fucks.
 

Liminality

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2009
Messages
217
MBTI Type
ISFx
Enneagram
6w7
One of my ESFJ friends (think all-American football star, most popular kid in his HS, womanizer, etc) gave me some advice on picking up girls at parties that has served me quite well: Don't go to a party with your dick out. Just go, have fun no matter what happens, show others you are having fun, get other people to have fun, and girls will be attracted to you. Everything else tends to fall into place after this, and even you don't get laid you don't really care cause you had so much fun.

+1

Also, pickup lines are not a good thing, not even joking about them, a billion times turnoff for me anyway.

Humour, teasing, even being a tad cruel, (but still showing you like/are interested in) the person is the best way to go if you're no expert imo.
 

kathara

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2007
Messages
167
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
Meh, fuck women. I'm much too lazy to seek one out at this point. Besides, a really loyal woman is going to show interest in you from the get go. The rest are just fodder fucks.

I am not gonna chase men around, if they cant be arsed to court me, then I am not interested.
 

Spamtar

Ghost Monkey Soul
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
4,468
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
most of you critcizing how shitty my attitude is can just keep it to yourself. I know i have flaws that's why i came here. Why would i be here in the first place if i were perfect.

@spamtar
thanks for all your feedback! I can really relate to what your saying. Although i don't quite understand the "system" or the "game". you seem like an expert at this stuff. Did you learn all this from experience?



I beg to differ, INTP can be good at picking up girls. That skill can be learn with try and fail. I guess "look" has big role when it comes to picking up chicks.



You don't have to comment on anything if you don't want me in this place. I came here to learn cause i'm sick of making the same mistake over and over.

Happy you are here Refreshe and you are right you don't have to answer all the chatter, just the parts you feel may help (and only then when you feel like it). In fact you will face much the same chatter, if not in your head, for the punters when you start successfully working the clubs and other target rich venues, nevertheless one must always endevour to persevere:

Here is my background.

1.Didn't get laid until I was 20 and (but at least she was a HB10) I was hot in my teens but wasn’t even aware of it until I looked back at pictures.

2. fell in love with the first girl who I had sex with and she dumped me and I was heartbroken for ages, didn't even try to pickup or date a long time after that).
3. Started practicing NLP/Speed Seduction (2nd generation older school Pick up technique) Very difficult to master and some aspects of it I to this day doubt, yet nevertheless having this "system" gave me focus. Focus on a target(s) and focus on a goal (sex). ABC (Always Be Closure). Each tactic was not a tactic on its own but part of an overall strategy. I don't use much NLP in pickup anymore but it has helped me a lot in business and other conflicts to this day.

4. Got physically attacked by a guy at a bar when I beat him at pool with 3 very attractive women hanging on my side and then his girlfriend started to hit on me. It was too much for his drunk ego and he hurt himself very badly in the process. The incident stressed me out and took a sabbatical from clubbing and pickup.

5. Read "The Game", nonfiction account of puas using pua strategies, got me interested in pickup again, went mostly to Karaoke clubs and learned to sing better than most. Got some materials of Mystery (main nonfiction character from the game who came of with a system which looks more like engineers diagrams than self help, he eventually came out with store version of his book.

6. Never went to a seminar (they are totally overpriced and superfluous except for the chronically frightened who are unwilling to try on their own.)

7. Became more interested in the idea of seduction per se (rather than pua but less than relationships) talked to a lot of people interested in the craft both in person and on the internet. Have tried to work seduction in my lifestyle to seduce everyone I meet mostly for the sake of seduction as opposed to any other gains (which now come with the territory)

So in a nutshell being an INTP was a big disadvantage in the beginning but in the end I feel it was my saving grace, not just to play the game but to master it. Best of fun in this magical adventure and remember the PUA ethic to always to leave the target in a better position than when you found her.
 

tgk

New member
Joined
Sep 24, 2009
Messages
28
MBTI Type
INTP
I am not gonna chase men around, if they cant be arsed to court me, then I am not interested.

Double standard much?

If you like a guy you won't express interest at all until he talks to you?
 
Top