The problem with that set up is that you're stuck with male jerks (most probably ESTPs), and your prospect pool for casual relationships (sexual or otherwise) are ESFP girls (some of which may not be interested with the INTP person per se, but more of the attention that he gives), where both archetypes aren't really known to have good chemistry with INTPs.
Anyway, I think quite a number of INTPs go to a transitional social phase where they may rack up a number of female friends, and not a lot develop into something romantic or sexual. Hence the feeling of being stuck in a friend zone or something. Something that INFPs may also feel.
Not that I think that it's bad, but the alternative (the scenario presented on the first paragraph) isn't significantly better, and seriously, I find the situation quite overrated.
The two scenarios shouldn't be considered mutually exclusive. It's probably better to have both.
For example, as depressing as having non evolving friendships with females with seem, a female's social life is significantly more dynamic than a male's. If I want a leverage on social life per se, I need not necessarily ignore these friends.
Also, male jerks can territorial with their female prospect pool, and will not 'share' it to their friends. Based on personal experience, a female friend can act as a better wingman (which is something INTPs need quite often).
My usual stratagem when engaging in a conversation is to try and make them laugh. This is usually achieved by taking whatever they've said and using past experience with the subject they are talking about, and giving it a comical spin. Flirting target then laughs, as they can relate to the joke I told. If they don't laugh, I count it as a first strike. If they get three strikes, I cut my losses and back off. If I can continually make them laugh, I progress to the next stage and slip phone numbers/IM into the conversation. Either saying something along the lines of, "msn is playing up for me. How about you?" If they reply in a way that confirms they have said IM, I'll swallow my pride and be like, "Oh, you have msn too? Cool, mind if I have it?" After that, who knows.
I try to be obvious about my intentions from the beginning, without being too brusque. I drop ambiguous hints that can be interpreted in a number of ways. If they seem receptive, I kick it up a notch and become more forward in my actions, but not too strongly. If they pick up the hint but indicate disinterest, I back off. No harm done. It's not as if I directly came on to them, only to be rejected. That would be incredibly awkward for both parties. With my method, both parties know where they stand, without the need for confrontation.
This is my tactic, should I be the one doing the chasing. But it seems I have rarely ever used it, as I'm the one usually being chased. I don't really look for relationships; I occasionally stumble upon opportunities and either choose to seize them or let them pass.
ETA: I don't know if my post implied that I have high levels of confidence in my romantic pursuits, but I just thought I'd add that it doesn't included the emotional side of my endeavours- I'm usually proverbially crapping myself and my instincts tell me to run away and never look back. Of course, this isn't considered a very attractive trait for most people, so I hide it behind a stiff upper lip, a daft grin, or a clacking of the keyboard (most commonly).
1. That 200 dollars that you're considering spending on a Bowen Statue Hulkbuster Iron Man is better spent on a couple of socializing, which shouldn't necessarily be expensive anyway.
2. If you'll forever be stigmatized on being laid back/lazy and whatnot, the most basic thing that you can do that's simple and has the potential to help you out in the long run is to mingle with people. Personal connections has way better practical usage (if you're getting stale or whatnot) than whatever impractical pieces of information your NeTi picks up.
3. The perceiving function is actually a good flirtation (subtle, that is) function. Being indirect means you're less accountable to direct statements that can potentially cause you to get dumped by a woman. It doesn't mean that this system always works though. But can be a brilliant thing to have if managed properly.
4. Even at an intellectual standpoint, human dynamics is actually interesting. It can't easily be boxed, and are always redefined.
it's been awhile so here's an update. (sorry if my grammer is bad)
-realized I can NEVER have close friends, I tried this over and over. I can have friends but never a best friend.
My goal isn't about getting laid anymore, I talk to sooo many girls to realize I can never hook up with any of them. cause I observe them and I don't want my presents(believed I spelled wrong) to effect them so I keep very quiet untill I make sure they are worth my time. By the time I figure them out I don't want to deal with these girls. I don't want to pretend I care or talk to someone that's not worth my vaule/time. Other thing I'm very shy about touching someone so I would be terrified if I was having sex with them.
I love being a loner! It's who I am, I could never put any effort to be friends with someone unless I know I can trust them.
I liked this girl over a year ago, at the time I didn't realize how speical she was to me. As INTP I never open up with her unless I was certain she was someone I wanted. The more we talked, the more I tested her and realize this girl was amazing. She never got to know the real me but she saw me as a "slacker" "lazy" "insane/arrogant". When I told her how I felt about her she wasn't interested. I assume I'll just move on just like any rejection I got from a girls. But this one was different, I couldn't stop thinking about her so I keep calling her and talking to her. The more I was doing this the more I was pushing her away but I didn't know what to do since I never felt this way about anyone before. was at a point when she said leave me alone. So I deleted her # and try to move on. I always think about her, the more girls I talk to more I realize how speical and rare she is to me. I "clicked" with her. It's been over a year and I'm still crazy about this girl. I saw her last week and my heart just jumped. But didn't say anything cause I knew that's not what she wanted. It's very clear to me now what kind of girls I really like and so far I have never met anyone like her.
I can live with the fact no one likes me, the whole world can hate me but it kills me that the one person I truly care about doesn't feel the same way.
people say "you'll always meet someone eles" and that is true for most people since they are compatible with so many people. For me she was the only person I was compatible with. I wish I realized this sooner so I could have open up to her and show her how great guy I am.
If anyone wants to know she's INFP and she's exactly the kind of girl I want to spend my life with.
info I left out: when I first met her she was physically attracted to me, she open up with me. the more we talked the more I liked her and wanted to make a move but I was unsure if she was someone I wanted. So I never made a move. I knew for a fact she liked me but as I keep testing her she showed signs she wasn't interested anymore, every time I wanted to make a move she always gave me a reason not but at the same time when I open up with her she would give me signs that she's still interested but even than I was still unsure if I really wanted to get in relationship with her or not(I actully believed there's millions of girls out there so why settle for one girl, yes I realized how idiot i was back than). but long story short by the time I figured it out it was too late.
If anything you might have put her on a pedestal, come on too strong, and freaked her out. Difficult situation to remedy really, unless you see her often and try to maintain a casual disposition it might impossible to fix.