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  1. #321
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Best bet to get out of a depression is by starting your thought processes a new. Use your Ti to create a new bases on which you want to live your life. Set different standards and goals.
    That is a very good explanation, it's exactly what happens. I was just doing that before I read you post.

  2. #322
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miserable View Post
    I think that would help.

    Could you give an example of what's quoted?
    I think it means you should feed your experience (Si stores memories and experience) because postive relational experience gives you more confidence when pursuing future relationships. Trial and error, basically. You mess around the dating arena, finding out what types of relationships were enjoyable and what other situations are best avoided - like dating in the workplace, for instance. However, the downside to using this way of thinking in excess is relying too much on experience, limiting yourself to options that you already know and have rigorously analyzed, and denying yourself of new and possibly refreshing experiences. If you take your past experience too seriously, you'll never branch out. In short, you become a relational neophobe and will live life as a hermit.

    That was more of an elaboration than an example. Eh.
    ---

    I don't seduce. I just add to my mental list of "people I would say yes to if they asked first". If they're not on the list, they can't get in. I'm rarely actively attracted to people; I wait for them to seduce me first, lolz. Low success rate, but zero rejection rate. Relationships aren't central to my life anyway, despite being in one- I was chased.
    Um, yeah.

  3. #323
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    I don't get it

  4. #324
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    I don't get it
    Do you know MBTI well?

  5. #325
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miserable View Post
    Do you know MBTI well?
    Not really but I was talking about my life. I just don't get it. I can't understand it. It's too much pain.

  6. #326
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    Not really but I was talking about my life. I just don't get it. I can't understand it. It's too much pain.
    Oh. Well maybe learning about MBTI can help you understand more.

  7. #327
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miserable View Post
    Oh. Well maybe learning about MBTI can help you understand more.
    links/books?

  8. #328
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  9. #329
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    I can't create a new goals. I need to accomplish my goals I have right now. I feel so rejected by this society. Nobody likes me or cares about me, I don't have any friends I can just call and express my feelings to. When people do talk to me; about themself or whatever I just don't care about it. I don't care about their stupid day cause of some guy cut in line front of them. I can't believe I'm this cold person. I just want a girl that can understand me and accpet me for who I am. That will never happen cause the society see me as a flaw and have nothing to offer to them.
    I never required anyone to like me or accept me. So I guess I have it easy. But seriously, if you have certain goals you feel you have to reach. I assure you self pitying yourself about it before reaching that goal isn't going to speed up the process though.

    I really advise you to find a middleground in which you feel comfortable enough living so you can shed that self pity and doubt, whilest searching and achieving your goals. If it's a girl you want, they tend to shy away from guys who pity themselves. You have your opinion, don't be afraid to use it. But don't get ahead of yourself and stay a little bit humble. When someone doesn't agree with you, it doesn't neccesarily mean they are wrong. Nor that you are wrong. You'd be surprised how many different opinions about one subject can be considered good.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  10. #330
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    First and Urgent:

    - If you really think about killing yourself, seek professional help. Depression is a serious illness, and if you feel you are depressed or suicidal go and see a psychologist. It's not something you're likely to get out of on your own and we, online communities, can give you helpful words but are too anonymous for you to ever really make you feel better.

    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    If I let go of my goals than how can I succeed? How can I get what I want without "trying"
    You shouldn't not try, you should just not let your feeling of self worth, self confidence or even your mood, be determined by what you haven't achieved yet.

    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    I can't create a new goals. I need to accomplish my goals I have right now. I feel so rejected by this society. Nobody likes me or cares about me, I don't have any friends I can just call and express my feelings to. When people do talk to me; about themself or whatever I just don't care about it. I don't care about their stupid day cause of some guy cut in line front of them. I can't believe I'm this cold person. I just want a girl that can understand me and accpet me for who I am. That will never happen cause the society see me as a flaw and have nothing to offer to them.
    Pssssh. I'm sensing a negative vibe here. Here's some homework that helped me improve my confidence. Write down 5 things that are good about you, things that YOU like about yourself. Even if it sounds silly at first, like 'I'm good at playing boardgames'. Then add one thing to that list every day. Eventually you can say to yourself "I'm really that good".

    For me some of those things were (to give you an idea): "I'm happy I've got a guitar" (I'm not that good at playing it, but just being able to cram a few notes out of it is making me a better guitar player then 99,999999% of world population) and "I always try to use my intelligence to help other people solve their problems" (this is a form of caring without the whole emotional stuff us NT's can have problems with).

    Step two, since most of your low self esteem seems to come from the fact that you are not happy with your social life, is to recognize at what point it fails.

    - I don't meet new people at all.
    - I feel uncomfortable, anxious or scared when I meet new people and shy away.
    - I meet new people all the time but it just doesn't click.
    - I have plenty of acquaintances, but they never really turn into friends.
    - I have plenty of friends, but no emotional connection with any of them.

    I think these options cover pretty much the entire spectrum, but if you feel it's something else be sure to say so. Take 10 minutes realizing what exactly is going wrong, write it down in just one or two sentences, and we can get to the next step: Setting the right goals.
    (removed)

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