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  1. #251
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    I got fu#$ing rejected today...... I noticed I was sounding bit desperate. Well I am desperate I need to get a gf or get laid. Rejection is keep playing in my head. How do i make it stop.....
    Honestly the fact that you're trying is the biggest thing. I'd offer the following advice:

    1) Target women with the same areas of interest as you. As an INTP, you're going to have to use your wit and creativity to attract women; those who are into Se bravado or other types of guys will simply ignore you, so waste no time on them. (I would go for NP women, primarily.)

    2) Be aware of where these women are likely to spend their free time--if you're an INTP, picking up chicks at the bar is going to be a total waste of time because you'll run into mostly ESxx type women who have absolutely no interest in a nerdy/intellectual guy like yourself. (I suggest a dating website like okcupid.com--I've met a number of great women through that site because you're in your element with the ability to really strike up interesting conversation, without a loud bar or twenty other guys getting in your way. This is your chance to use your talents to show why you're special and worth her time.)

    3) Don't give the impression that the central goal of your life is getting laid/finding a mate. Women see right through that. You need to come to the table with some other serious interests that you can talk about at length and hold her interest. If you can give the impression that your life already has direction and meaning because you're pursuing your passion, and that romance is just icing on the cake for you, you'll seem much more casual and a hell of a lot more attractive.

    4) Practice, practice, practice that conversation! You've got to use your Ne to be funny and confident on the fly. You will get rejected a lot, but as I said, the fact that you're trying makes all the difference in the world.

    5) When you fail, remember that any given random woman is probably incompatible with you, based solely on probability. Think of it as a learning experience, which is therefore a success because you improved your approach and/or gained some new insight. Just don't go for women with totally different lifestyles from yours--it rarely works.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  2. #252
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    I got fu#$ing rejected today...... I noticed I was sounding bit desperate. Well I am desperate I need to get a gf or get laid.
    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    Honestly the fact that you're trying is the biggest thing.
    Desperation is a stinky cologne.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  3. #253
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    ^ Succinctly put, and very true.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  4. #254

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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    I noticed I was sounding bit desperate.
    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    I got fu#$ing rejected today
    I find thinking about it in this order to be elucidating.

    You can then ask how not to be desperate, but you're really getting at a deeper problem here, which is, why do you need another person in the first place? Finding someone special isn't going to make you autonomously happy, but if you can figure out how to be happy and self-confident on your own, you'll have a much easier time attracting that someone special when they come around.

    EDIT: damn, I spaced for too long and Edgar beat me to it! D=
    Last edited by Forgetful Functor; 10-05-2009 at 01:54 AM. Reason: to make myself look somewhat less like a tool
    Ti = Ne > Fi = Ni > Te = Si > Fe = Se

    "I've never seen a child who didn't want to build something out of blocks, or learn something new, or try the next task. And the only reason why adults aren't like that is, I suppose, that they have been sent to school and other oppressive institutions which have driven that out of them."
    -- Noam Chomsky

  5. #255
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post

    3) Don't give the impression that the central goal of your life is getting laid/finding a mate. Women see right through that. You need to come to the table with some other serious interests that you can talk about at length and hold her interest.
    OR... you can learn some PUA tricks and become a Big Dick Playa...

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCKxDHG-tKY"]Swing it past your knees...[/YOUTUBE]
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  6. #256
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Yeah, and you can also walk into a poker game and play extremely loose and aggressive.

    This works for about 5% of the people who attempt it. It's possible, but too difficult for the vast majority of men to pull off...especially not a beginner. Come on now, Brother Edgar--it's called responsible coaching!
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  7. #257

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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Big Dick Playa
    You are joking, right?
    Ti = Ne > Fi = Ni > Te = Si > Fe = Se

    "I've never seen a child who didn't want to build something out of blocks, or learn something new, or try the next task. And the only reason why adults aren't like that is, I suppose, that they have been sent to school and other oppressive institutions which have driven that out of them."
    -- Noam Chomsky

  8. #258
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    I wasn't going to hit on any girls till I read those books and "master" the whole thing but i saw really cute girl at the market and had to say something and all i could think of was that stupid ass pick up line. It kinda worked but i didn't plan what i was going to say next. Overall she wasn't interested and gave me the "i have boyfriend" excuse. bullshi# i'm pretty sure she didn't had one just wanted me to leave her alone

  9. #259
    Senior Member kathara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    Well I am desperate I need to get a gf or get laid.
    Why do you NEED it? Else what?

  10. #260
    Riva
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    Honestly the fact that you're trying is the biggest thing. I'd offer the following advice:

    1) Target women with the same areas of interest as you. As an INTP, you're going to have to use your wit and creativity to attract women; those who are into Se bravado or other types of guys will simply ignore you, so waste no time on them. (I would go for NP women, primarily.)

    2) Be aware of where these women are likely to spend their free time--if you're an INTP, picking up chicks at the bar is going to be a total waste of time because you'll run into mostly ESxx type women who have absolutely no interest in a nerdy/intellectual guy like yourself. (I suggest a dating website like okcupid.com--I've met a number of great women through that site because you're in your element with the ability to really strike up interesting conversation, without a loud bar or twenty other guys getting in your way. This is your chance to use your talents to show why you're special and worth her time.)

    3) Don't give the impression that the central goal of your life is getting laid/finding a mate. Women see right through that. You need to come to the table with some other serious interests that you can talk about at length and hold her interest. If you can give the impression that your life already has direction and meaning because you're pursuing your passion, and that romance is just icing on the cake for you, you'll seem much more casual and a hell of a lot more attractive.

    4) Practice, practice, practice that conversation! You've got to use your Ne to be funny and confident on the fly. You will get rejected a lot, but as I said, the fact that you're trying makes all the difference in the world.

    5) When you fail, remember that any given random woman is probably incompatible with you, based solely on probability. Think of it as a learning experience, which is therefore a success because you improved your approach and/or gained some new insight. Just don't go for women with totally different lifestyles from yours--it rarely works.
    you have been reading David Deangelo haven't you?

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