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  1. #1
    Supreme Allied Commander Take Five's Avatar
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    Default NTs and social anxiety

    Do many or any NTs suffer from social anxiety? How does this affect you? Does this have anything to do with the "socially awkward" stereotypes of INTJs in particular?
    Johari Nohari

    "If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared. "--Niccolo Machiavelli

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    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    I don't think I'm socially awkward... probably more like socially inept.

    Oblivious is a good word too.

    The up side is that actually stopping to think about how I am considered in social settings happens so rarely that I remain happy in my own little world, not caring much one way or the other. When I do stop to look around and see where I might stand with others, I tend to make very Ni based judgements from looks, actions and other minutia (Often times my assessment can be based on a single act, phrase or look) to determine if a person regards me with any esteem. If they don't, I write them off my list and they kind of fade into oblivion. If they do, I'll check in with them again when I start looking around the next time and see if the arrangement has changed.

    Repeat ad finitum
    Embrace the possibilities.

  3. #3
    Junior Member Raphael's Avatar
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    I certainly get socially awkward at times; though usually after I've said or done something rather blunt (go go power of Extraversion). Most of my anxiety comes from focusing too strongly on regret and past mistakes particularly in social situations - usually the person has completely forgotten the incident that I'm dwelling on, but it makes me flip from E to I with that person until I've forgiven myself.
    Extroverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
    Ne>Te>Si>Fi>Fe>Ti>Ni>Se
    Enneagrammatically.... The Professional; 3w4, sp>so>sx
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    Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it

  4. #4
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Take Five View Post
    Do many or any NTs suffer from social anxiety? How does this affect you? Does this have anything to do with the "socially awkward" stereotypes of INTJs in particular?
    Yes, I suffer from a certain form of social anxiety. How does it affect me? I find that I often avoid social situations with strangers for fear of making a fool of myself, and if I am thrust into such a situation against my wishes, it is difficult for me to speak. The reason it is difficult for me to speak is that I really really want to avoid having to replay humiliating situations in my head later on, which I know will happen if I say something embarrassing or stupid. And I am not confident enough in my social abilities to be able to count on myself NOT to say or do something stupid or embarrassing.

    I don't know about "socially awkward." To me, socially awkward people are the ones who try to be social, but are so inept at it (and unable to perceive the affect they are having on others) that they make interaction with them weird and uncomfortable. I am not like that, I don't think. I am completely capable of being smooth socially, but it's the fear and lack of desire to do so that usually gets me. So I'm either/or - either fairly charismatic (if and when I feel like being) or totally quiet.

    My social anxiety only extends to situations with strangers, though. Or gatherings of more than six people.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  5. #5
    Black Magic Buzzard Kra's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say that I'm "socially awkward." I never shy away from a situation because of a fear of strangers or being unsure if people like me or not. If I find an event fun or interesting I will not hesitate to go even if the potential for social involvement is high.

    I suppose that my social deficiency lies in my willingness to reach out to others. I find that I am almost never the person who initiates a conversation with a stranger, despite being rather self-assured. On the other hand, if they approach me, I'm amiable and friendly. I have no problem meeting their outreach halfway, though I may politely withdraw if I find them uninteresting.

    For instance, I excel at continuing and contributing to friendly conversations, I'm just abysmal at starting them.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Engler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    Yes, I suffer from a certain form of social anxiety. How does it affect me? I find that I often avoid social situations with strangers for fear of making a fool of myself, and if I am thrust into such a situation against my wishes, it is difficult for me to speak. The reason it is difficult for me to speak is that I really really want to avoid having to replay humiliating situations in my head later on, which I know will happen if I say something embarrassing or stupid. And I am not confident enough in my social abilities to be able to count on myself NOT to say or do something stupid or embarrassing.

    I don't know about "socially awkward." To me, socially awkward people are the ones who try to be social, but are so inept at it (and unable to perceive the affect they are having on others) that they make interaction with them weird and uncomfortable. I am not like that, I don't think. I am completely capable of being smooth socially, but it's the fear and lack of desire to do so that usually gets me. So I'm either/or - either fairly charismatic (if and when I feel like being) or totally quiet.

    My social anxiety only extends to situations with strangers, though. Or gatherings of more than six people.
    I identify perfectly with virtually everything stated here.

    Now, I'm skeptical of MBTI's ability to predict behavioral patterns, but I must say, it strikes me as no coincidence that we should also have the same type.

    -------------------------------

    To apply cognitive functions to the social anxiety/ineptitude for the INTP:

    Dominant Ti ---> critical evaluation of personal behavior

    Secondary Ne ---> tendency to perceive different [potentially negative] perspectives

    Tertiary Si ---> uncomfortable remembrance of previous mistakes made during social interaction

    Inferior Fe ---> underdeveloped ability to act appropriately in a social context


    -------------------------------

    ^Feel free to disagree with my interpretation.
    http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u56/EnglerMeister/hehh.jpg

  7. #7
    Senior Member Willfrey's Avatar
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    Orangey took the words out of my mouth.

    I'm calm and collected among people I know well, but throw just one stranger in the mix and I'll clam up.
    ...Then I ducked my head and the lights went out, and two guns blazed in the dark;
    And a woman screamed, and the lights went up, and two men lay stiff and stark...

  8. #8

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    I definitely have all the social anxiety an INTJ might be expected to have. Picking up the phone is like picking up a manhole cover, even for people I like. I also find it very difficult to get out the door to do something social, although when I can make myself do it I generally have a good time. It's the inertia I have to fight. I constantly worry that my precious few friends will give up on me. Predictably, the situation also makes dating an extremely rare event.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

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    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Moved some stuff here.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  10. #10
    Alexander the Terrible yenom's Avatar
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    social anxiety is not difficult to conquer. I find most people who are good at public speaking are actually introverts. There are people who can speak to thousands of people without fear and improvise as he go along. Imagine people who make a fool out of themselves in front of thousands of people and everyone knows about it.

    Avoiding is not the best way to deal with it. The best way to deal with your fear is to confront it and forgive yourself when you can't face it. I done alot of things that I felt ashamed of, but I know its all part of the process.

    A billion words are being spoken on this planet every day (maybe a trillion I don't know, but a very large number). What words are classified as stupid?
    The fear of poverty turns people into slaves of money.

    "In this Caesar there are many Mariuses"~Sulla

    Conquer your inner demons first before you conquer the world.

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