I've been diagnosed with and am on medication for social anxiety disorder. I'm also really, really socially inept. I have no idea what to do in 90% of social situations, and it takes months for me to get to the point in a friendship where I can approach a friend and start a conversation with them other than the other way around.
High school is ridiculous (I am a giant loner) and it doesn't help that I care more about Monty Python than American Idol or Kurt Vonnegut novels more than Twilight. I didn't mean to become a pretentious, precocious teenager, it just kind of happened. I really can't make small talk with my peers because half the time I have absolutely no idea what they are talking about.
Also, my school, like many other public places, is full of ES folk, so the general opinion is that I am either depressed, angry (sup typical INTJ facial expression - all pissed off, all the time!), a bit "special", or a combination of all three. I even get "you are a pathetic freak" vibes from ES teachers, which is kind of awkward, since I am usually awful at reading people's emotions, so if I can read the pity in their face then it must be pretty damn strong.
Really, being ignored doesn't make me angry so much as having people try to white knight for me by babying me or sticking up for me in social situations. If you don't let me learn how to make myself approachable, you're just hindering my social progress. Same with "sticking up for me", which I can actually do for myself, thank you very much. Just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I'm gonna let someone walk all over me. I can pick my own battles.
Oh, and just let me say thank you to all the lovely ENTPs I've met who have the stamina to put up with me 180 days a year. They are the only people who seem to challenge me, regard me as an equal and (gasp!) actually like me rather than pity me in that whole godforsaken place. You guys are the best
tl;dr Socially awkward INTJs are socially awkward. Nothing we don't already know.
three quarters of the things you just said are exactly how i feel. Nice to know there's someone else out there going through the same damn thing.
Originally Posted by Jwill
I used to have more social anxiety as a kid, but I've outgrown that. My introversion and intuition balanced out a bit.
I think INTJs aren't so much socially awkward as socially apathetic. Often, they don't care enough to put forth effort at socializing. When I was younger, I knew that small talk was important for social success, but I didn't care enough about having social success to deal with it. I think social awkwardness comes more from people who aren't apathetic about interacting with strangers.
I think that the social apathy is a direct result and/or mask for the social awkward...ness.
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
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It is bad luck to be superstitious.
- Andrew W. Mathis