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  1. #11
    Is Willard in Footloose!! CJ99's Avatar
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    I can relate to this a lot. It wasn't untill up to the last year that I started to get a hang of the whole socialising thing.
    I'm still clueless about parts of it, like girls, still useless there, but I'm a lot better than I used to be in general.
    I was always a bit nervous in social situations because people didn't always react well to me. It was always all or nothing with me. Either you get full pledged eat your brains weird/odd/randomness or quiet antisocial dude and most people prefer something inbetween.
    "I'd never die for my beliefs, I might be wrong"

    "Is it not enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe there are fairys at the bottom of it too"

    "Intelligence is being able to hold too opposing views in the mind at the one time without going crazy" - Now all I need to figure out is if I'm intelligent or crazy!

  2. #12
    Senior Member Feops's Avatar
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    It would seem reasonable that people weaker on the "feeling" would have inferior emotional development.

    It's certainly a weakness of mine. I fare poorly in large social settings without any structure to them - like a club, or a party. Very hard to just throw myself out and start on the random smalltalk. Or even worse, body language. On rare occasion alcohol will remedy this.

    On the bright side I'm pretty confident in any sort of public speaking. Having a concrete topic gives me something to focus on. I can speak my mind and worry about presenting good, rather than how I should navigate personal exchanges.

  3. #13
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    I have no social anxiety, but chances are that I am pretty socially awkward - I'm just oblivious to it, for the most part.

  4. #14
    Senior Member iamathousandapples's Avatar
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    Not really anxiety, there's just a barrier you have to break to get me open

  5. #15
    Junior Member trollgrinder's Avatar
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    Psychology has been an avid interest of mine for a while, and before discovering these different systems and theories of personality typing, I thought maybe I suffered from avoidant personality disorder. After finding out I'm allegedly an INTp type and what that entails, I'm not so sure if I suffer from it or if extreme social avoidance is just a part of my nature. Then again, after discovering my type, I wondered if at least the I and T parts might not be a result of suffering from avoidant personality disorder. I'm never fully certain of anything. Either way, in regards to socializing, I've always avoided it where possible, because I've always been worried I could make some blunder that I would find personally inexcusable. I hate having to be so keenly aware of myself and everything I do on the spot like that. Not to mention, I hate having to react on the spot like that to. However, I've read about INTp's being social chameleons, and I'm actually quite good at that role when I'm forced into socializing. Also, whatever part of us that allegedly accounts for us being able to be weird or eccentric, but in a lovable, dorky sort of way, I'm very thankful for, as I use that a lot with the opposite gender, and with some degree of success. The real problem, for me, is when it comes time to "drop the act", so to speak. When I start trying to develop an actual relationship with someone, my Ti and the true weakness of my Fe start to shine through. I start to alienate them a bit with both, either by going off on theoretical rants on some esoteric interest of mine, or by reacting to a situation in a way that makes it blatantly obvious that I'm oblivious to their feelings. I have to say, nothing has caused me more troubles or grief, in my well established relationships, than my weak Fe, especially in my romantic relationships. If I have to hear that I'm cold, detached, and distant, one more time, I'm going to go the rest of the way insane! :steam: I live in Western society, I thought being an insensitive jerk was appropriate behavior for a guy and a turn on, but apparently that only applies as an initial attraction. lol

  6. #16
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Take Five View Post
    Do many or any NTs suffer from social anxiety? How does this affect you? Does this have anything to do with the "socially awkward" stereotypes of INTJs in particular?
    No...this is quite a foreign concept to me. Sorry, also not an INTJ. I actually get more excited about new social situations than going to meet the same people, in a previously visited setting. Although, I'm sure that some of the things I say (that elicit groans and crackles) may be perceived by others as 'oh shit', 'no she didn't' 'what is she on?'.....this, however does not elicit anxiety in me, but rather, amusement.

    I know an INxJ (recently I think I'm becoming certain that he's actually INTJ)...and he grumbles and groans about social situations. Once there, he's more likely to sit back and listen, with isolated commentary (moments of insights), or in a bigger group setting, when he does converse, it's usually 1-on-1.

  7. #17
    Is Willard in Footloose!! CJ99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iamathousandapples View Post
    Not really anxiety, there's just a barrier you have to break to get me open
    Thats it exactly!
    I take a while to feel comfortable in the situation but once I do I'm fine, actually I can be quite good in them. According to a lot of people I'm a funny nice sociable guy. Its just it used to take me weeks or months to get comfortable with people like that. Now I can do in minutes with only a few people or days with big groups.
    "I'd never die for my beliefs, I might be wrong"

    "Is it not enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe there are fairys at the bottom of it too"

    "Intelligence is being able to hold too opposing views in the mind at the one time without going crazy" - Now all I need to figure out is if I'm intelligent or crazy!

  8. #18
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I know the popular perception is that extraverts don't experience social anxiety, but this is really not true at all...

    Yes, I do experience it a lot. I just override it, because I have objectives beyond myself and my own comfort or whatever. I leave about 80% of social encounters feeling sure that I've made a total idiot of myself and wishing I'd just stayed at home.

    Yet the sky does not fall on my head... so I carry on.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  9. #19
    Senior Member SecantSquared's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    I know an INxJ (recently I think I'm becoming certain that he's actually INTJ)...and he grumbles and groans about social situations. Once there, he's more likely to sit back and listen, with isolated commentary (moments of insights), or in a bigger group setting, when he does converse, it's usually 1-on-1.
    That is exactly like me. I would much rather stay at home and spend time with...inanimate objects...than go out in a social setting. and even if someone, somehow, gets me there, I don't really do much. I'll still behave exactly like me. I've been told that I tend to sit back and listen, then throw out a sentence or two, and analyze the results. This sounds exactly like me, and how i have a tendency to turn everything that I do into some sort of "experiment". It's actually somewhat fun, though.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    Yeah, I tend to analyse my social interaction quite a bit. Trying to notice what effect my words, body language and actions have on people. Eventually a concept I discover becomes so natural to me I don't have to think about it though. At this point in my life I have pretty good people skills, and have overcome my social anxiety. On the other hand, if I don't really have anything to say I will still be the quiet guy in the corner, but looking far more confident then I used to be, knowing that I can do well socializing and making friends.

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