• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INTJ] How to seduce an INTJ...

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Ok, balls to the wall, I'm asking honestly. Assuming the near improbable happens and an appropriately attractive INTJ shows up on screen. What's next?
 

bluebell

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2007
Messages
1,485
MBTI Type
INTP
Wait for her to seduce you? (a semi-serious answer btw, based on my observations of my somewhat-intimidating RL INTJ female friend)
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Make friends first. But don't make it a "just friends" thing. Act silly and stuff too, be somewhat flirty (act confident in other words, but not too cocky). Have intelligent discussion, exchange ideas about philosophy and pretty much anything. They love intelligent discussion. Be trustworthy and sincere.
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
Conk him/her in the head, throw him/her over your shoulder, and take him/her home. That's actually a semi-serious answer too. It's better than waiting for cues from someone who doesn't know how they work. You'll either get disemboweled (they don't like you) or they'll just go along with it (they do like you).
 

Matthew_Z

That chalkboard guy
Joined
Jun 15, 2009
Messages
1,256
MBTI Type
xxxx
I always liked the "It's the J's job to seduce the P" theory.
 

Uytuun

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
1,633
MBTI Type
nnnn
Talk to her, be yourself, but keep a form of distance. Allow her the illusion that she has made the decision to approach you romantically. (actually, this might be the feely equivalent of how Ti users always want to feel like they have a choice even if they don't have one in practice - I've just been thinking about that). You need to somehow get her to feel like entering in a relationship with you is thé best choice for her in every way, that it is the natural decision, in a way that there is no other option. But you do this best by not pressuring in any way...so... you need to get her somewhere, but you shouldn't try to get her somewhere heh ... Essentially, there's really very little you can do...if you make her go crazy, you're set barring gross misconduct (e.g. really, really excessive clinginess, murder (maybe)), but if you don't, there's very little that can help you. There's one guy I've felt this way about and he was not an easy person, yet it didn't change anything about my feelings for him. Really, if you sweep an INTJ off her feet naturally, she's going to put up with a lot of stuff. Same for ISTJ IME. IMO and IME all of this. She needs to be in love with you. :)

I feel like this did not make a lot of sense...I'm telling you she needs to be in love with you and you're asking how to make her fall for you...well done. I suppose my inital sentence would be the best way to let your natural magic do the trick.

Why do you want an INTJ? (I wouldn't want an INTJ :D)
 

Eowyn

New member
Joined
Jun 17, 2009
Messages
93
MBTI Type
ESfP
Enneagram
2
Conk him/her in the head, throw him/her over your shoulder, and take him/her home. That's actually a semi-serious answer too. It's better than waiting for cues from someone who doesn't know how they work. You'll either get disemboweled (they don't like you) or they'll just go along with it (they do like you).


Bingo. My best odds for getting some are to walk up to my INTJ DH, say, "The toddler is napping and the other two are very busy with their activity and won't interrupt us. Let's go do adult stuff together with the door locked." Roughly twice in 10 years have I been randomly propositioned by him.

And the bolded part? That explains so, so much. :shock: Thanks!
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Сhallenge her. Challenge her mind, her values, her intelligence, her way of thinking, every way you can. Don't be afraid to be blunt, honest and direct in your statements. In fact, use them to corner her and provide her with new insights in the things you discuss. It gets you noticed. And appreciated. Especially if you then proceed to not be shy when she returns the favor. Be able to take the heat and prove to be a worthy opponent. It will keep her coming back. After that, slowely slip in some lighthearted banter as you go along, to provide for more breaks and personal time.


Good luck on your INTJ-hunt ;)
 

Wiley45

New member
Joined
Mar 3, 2009
Messages
669
MBTI Type
INFP
This is only based on the INTJ's I know...

I'm going to agree with the above suggestion of being genuine. If you ever try giving an INTJ the illusion that they're pursuing you, even though you're actually pursuing them, you'd better be damn sure you can pull it off. If they sense you're trying to outsmart them in some little love game, they're going to rip you up one side and down the other, and it won't be pretty. Or, if they choose to be nice, they'll probably just ignore you from that point on.

I'd suggest that you take advantage of any situations that might lead to a short, intense conversation involving something intellectual, or quick-witted, humorous or sarcastic banter.

Then, whatever you do, back off. Even if you feel like you'll explode if you don't see that INTJ again soon, back the hell off. Go away. Hide yourself under a rock. Give them a chance to breathe, and then casually show up again. If they like you, they'll be happy to see you. Only, you probably won't notice because their greeting will probably be an insult. :)
 

medica

New member
Joined
May 27, 2009
Messages
100
MBTI Type
ENTP
Conk him/her in the head, throw him/her over your shoulder, and take him/her home. That's actually a semi-serious answer too. It's better than waiting for cues from someone who doesn't know how they work. You'll either get disemboweled (they don't like you) or they'll just go along with it (they do like you).
I kind of did that with mine. I conked him in the head with my playfulness, my brains and my directness, and basically invited myself to visit him (the distance made an overnight stay more or less necessary, and sex was definitely implied). We talked for 5 hours straight with some semi-awkward silences (hey, I'm an ENTP, usually all silent periods with people I don't know very well are awkward!) in between, we had some good food and some good wine during the evening, and we were basically enjoying ourselves.

A little later he propositioned me in the most analytical manner I've ever experienced, so I saved him by getting up, going over to him, sitting down across his lap and kissing him. It sure worked. :yes:
 

Wiley45

New member
Joined
Mar 3, 2009
Messages
669
MBTI Type
INFP
A little later he propositioned me in the most analytical manner I've ever experienced, so I saved him by getting up, going over to him, sitting down across his lap and kissing him. It sure worked. :yes:

Haha. Aw. :) INTJ's are so cute. Don't tell them I said that.
 

medica

New member
Joined
May 27, 2009
Messages
100
MBTI Type
ENTP
Then, whatever you do, back off. Even if you feel like you'll explode if you don't see that INTJ again soon, back the hell off. Go away. Hide yourself under a rock. Give them a chance to breathe, and then casually show up again.
I'm going to print this and stick it on my fridge.
 

Matthew_Z

That chalkboard guy
Joined
Jun 15, 2009
Messages
1,256
MBTI Type
xxxx
I was married to an INTP for 10+ years. He's the laziest man I know. Is that a typical INTP-thing?
Show me an INTP without a proficiency in the sacred art of procrastination, and I'll show you a picture of a snowball fight in the Sahara.

INTPs are thinkers, not doers. Not naturally, at least.
 

sculpting

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
4,148
I watched my INTJ girlfriend try and date a guy for going on two years. By the end of it me and my old entp best friend were planning to get them drunk and lock them in a room together. Later he ran off and became a gay tennis player and dated old guys in california.

I am no help here, sorry.
 

Misty_Mountain_Rose

New member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
1,123
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
4w5
Originally Posted by Jewelchild
Then, whatever you do, back off. Even if you feel like you'll explode if you don't see that INTJ again soon, back the hell off. Go away. Hide yourself under a rock. Give them a chance to breathe, and then casually show up again.


I'm going to print this and stick it on my fridge.

Hell... I'm going to print it out on little cards and hand it out to guys who hit on me.

You know, last week I was sitting outside on the dock at a restaurant I like to go to, eating lunch. I was by myself, listening to music at a table for 4. For some reason I remembered a thread here once about where INTJ's hang out and remembered someone saying that they'd be doing exactly what I was up to at that moment.

I laughed and wondered what kind of come-on would intrigue me enough to let someone sit at my table and talk with me and a kind of daydream started...

Mystery Man would approach the table "Hey... I noticed you sitting here by yourself, would you like some company?"

Me with raised eyebrows "That depends. Are you selling anything?"

Mystery Man sits down without waiting for me to answer with a smirk "Not today. Can't seem to get away from the surveillance long enough."

Me "Ahh. FBI?"

Mystery Man bites his food and shakes his head no. "Nah, their surveillance sucks. I can lose their tail in a half a minute flat. What are you listening to?"

Me, amused "Clapton"

Mystery Man "He's not bad. A little too polished for my liking, but I like some of his stuff."

Me, unwilling to admit he's right "Maybe. I've never seen you here, do you work nearby?"

Mystery Man gives me the look :thelook: "I don't think I should tell you that. You could be a stalker."

I laugh at the irony of someone who sat at my table calling me a stalker and wonder if maybe he's a stalker and disguising himself with a clever turn-table remark.

Me, implying that if HE were a stalker I'm prepared "I could be. Do you have your mace and your gun handy?" (I throw in a gun for good measure and exaggeration)

Mystery Man "Of course. I'd never sit down at a strangers table without my Glock. Plus I like shooting at the fish in the water off the dock after I eat. It helps with my digestion"

Me "I usually just give them my leftover pita bread, but whatever floats your boat."

Mystery Man "I used to do that but it made the other clients nervous"

Me, laughing again at the ridiculous conversation we're having that we both know is utter BS.

Mystery Man finishes eating "I have to head back to the office... thanks for letting me crash your table. Care to meet me here again next week? I'll be coming over for lunch on Thursday at about this time."

Me "You never know, I'm here a lot. Have a good day."

*Marks the calendar for next Thursday and sets reminders so she doesn't forget*

The conversation has everything that gets to me...

1. Sarcasm
2. Off the wall comments
3. Humor
4. Confidence
5. Intelligence

Plus there wasn't the added tension of actually being asked out. I was offered a chance to go back to a place where we'd already met with no awkward, put-you-on-the-spot decision making... I'd have a whole week to think about it.

I decided that I should try to seduce myself and all would be well in my world.

:D
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Wow Misty, that's adorable and would never work for me. I loved the whole exchange but I would be craving him to delve more into that surveillance crap. And that Clapton comment is just begging for a debate, whether he is wrong or right.

And asking me about some future date would give me too much time to think it to death, causing me to be bored with him before the next meeting, or just outright forget by the time thursday rolls around.

But your thought process is utterly adorable!
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
I kind of did that with mine. I conked him in the head with my playfulness, my brains and my directness, and basically invited myself to visit him (the distance made an overnight stay more or less necessary, and sex was definitely implied). We talked for 5 hours straight with some semi-awkward silences (hey, I'm an ENTP, usually all silent periods with people I don't know very well are awkward!) in between, we had some good food and some good wine during the evening, and we were basically enjoying ourselves.

A little later he propositioned me in the most analytical manner I've ever experienced, so I saved him by getting up, going over to him, sitting down across his lap and kissing him. It sure worked. :yes:

If I am ever married, I bet money that the story we tell about how we got together goes almost exactly like that.
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
I am tempted to ask if anyone wants a scotch again, but I fear the last half of the second bottle will be not open for sharing
 
Top