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[INTJ] How to seduce an INTJ...

S

Sniffles

Guest
Make friends first. But don't make it a "just friends" thing. Act silly and stuff too, be somewhat flirty (act confident in other words, but not too cocky). Have intelligent discussion, exchange ideas about philosophy and pretty much anything. They love intelligent discussion. Be trustworthy and sincere.

+1
 

Uytuun

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
1,633
MBTI Type
nnnn

You sound like my INFJ friend. :p Do I sound like my INFJ friend? I don't think so for some reason...he's a bit too smooth and superficial for me still, I would be way more sarcastic. Too much confidence makes me suspicious. I wouldn't be able to get the over-arching contrivedness of walking up to me with the intention of chatting me up.

Blundering NFPs for the win. :D
 

ghoti

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2009
Messages
56
MBTI Type
intj
It takes patience. A lot. Of patience.

My ENTP girlfriend and I mutually stalked each other for a couple months before we even met. Ah love, it's a beautiful thing.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Conk him/her in the head, throw him/her over your shoulder, and take him/her home. That's actually a semi-serious answer too. It's better than waiting for cues from someone who doesn't know how they work. You'll either get disemboweled (they don't like you) or they'll just go along with it (they do like you).

This. Oh and the friend but not the friend thing. Be open to ideas in progress. Have intellectual discussions, don't take it personally when you encounter something with them and they do the nostril flair - that is what the cretins drink - sort of look. Don't get offended that they need alone time doing alone activities. You need to breathe. We need to be alone. Same thing. Don't worry about them keeping strange hours or sleeping in spurts then being up. It doesn't require a doctor. Don't be a flake. God don't be a flake. As in, show up when you say you will, make commitments and keep them and write things down. DO NOT call me 5 x from the store to find out what I need after you offered to go in the first place. That's why they invented notepads and pens.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
The conversation has everything that gets to me...

1. Sarcasm
2. Off the wall comments
3. Humor
4. Confidence
5. Intelligence

Plus there wasn't the added tension of actually being asked out. I was offered a chance to go back to a place where we'd already met with no awkward, put-you-on-the-spot decision making... I'd have a whole week to think about it.

Noice! :D
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
I was wondering how long it will take for this thread to show up.
Since we have one for INTPs.
 

KarenParker

New member
Joined
Mar 3, 2009
Messages
319
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7
I seduced my INTJ by being extremely straightforward. ME: "Hi, I'm looking for someone to make out with so I can get over my ex-boyfriend."

That rebound relationship lasted 7 years!
 

medica

New member
Joined
May 27, 2009
Messages
100
MBTI Type
ENTP
oh please share...
We were half drunk, both of us, so I don't remember the correct wording, but it was something like this being very new to both of us, but that meeting me felt good. He said he knew what his brain wanted, that he had no clue how his body would react and kind of got caught up in his own jag about being ready or not. It was so sweet, but I felt bad for him because he was so anxious.

So I kissed him. :wubbie:
 

Kra

Black Magic Buzzard
Joined
Jun 24, 2009
Messages
912
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
4w5
Make friends first. But don't make it a "just friends" thing. Act silly and stuff too, be somewhat flirty (act confident in other words, but not too cocky). Have intelligent discussion, exchange ideas about philosophy and pretty much anything. They love intelligent discussion. Be trustworthy and sincere.

I'd go with this. An intellectual attraction will carry you much further with an INTJ than anything else I can think of.

There have been a few occasions where I met a woman I wasn't really attracted to at all a until I heard her speak, and then I was hooked.

Note: You will most likely have to be blunt in letting them know you're interested. Maybe it's just me, but I have a horrible sense for that kind of thing. It's really pretty funny in retrospect, but there have been several occasions in which I will be speaking with a woman who is in full-flirt mode, and never once pick up on it. My ISTx buddy has smacked me a couple of times for not noticing that. :laugh:
 

sonata

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2008
Messages
291
MBTI Type
iNtJ
What BlackCat said, about being friends first. Talk to her. Make sure you really want to spend a large chunk of time with one of us crazy creatures. Make her laugh, and I can't exactly tell you how to do that, it should just happen if you two are compatible. Then after you guys have had some good N conversations, start throwing in (genuine! she'll be able to see through it if you're not) compliments. She probably gets them often about her intelligence or whatever project she's on at the moment; she will appreciate that, but if you say something about, say, her appearance, assuming whatever you're saying is true, she'll go home that night thinking "Hm." If she's been having fun with you, and she's somewhat open to a relationship at this point in her life, she'll start to think about the possibility of the two of you together. Ni is absurd like this. It plays out scenarios in our heads and drives us crazy.

Don't be too readily available, don't give her time to get sick of you, especially at the beginning. Tease her about silly things (not actual flaws). Then eventually, be blunt. We respect that, we think it's brave, and if you play too many head games, we will logic ourselves out of believing that you ever liked us, and then we'll logic ourselves out of liking you. Personally, I can forcibly repress my feelings about a person if I believe that said feelings are not conducive to my general well-being. Perfect INFP characteristics that you want her to eventually see: you guys are fun and spontaneous (which we like, up to a point, because it can sort of unwind us) but safe; if we open up our Fi to you, you won't crush it. We need to feel in control, not of you, but of ourselves.

Good luck.
 
Last edited:

Uytuun

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
1,633
MBTI Type
nnnn
What BlackCat said, about being friends first. Talk to her. Make sure you really want to spend a large chunk of time with one of us crazy creatures. Make her laugh, and I can't exactly tell you how to do that, it should just happen if you two are compatible. Then after you guys have had some good N conversations, start throwing in (genuine! she'll be able to see through it if you're not) compliments. She probably gets them often about her intelligence or whatever project she's on at the moment; she will appreciate that, but if you say something about, say, her appearance, assuming whatever you're saying is true, she'll go home that night thinking "Hm." If she's been having fun with you, and she's somewhat open to a relationship at this point in her life, she'll start to think about the possibility of the two of you together. Ni is absurd like this. It plays out scenarios in our heads and drives us crazy.

Don't be too readily available, don't give her time to get sick of you, especially at the beginning. Tease her about silly things (not actual flaws). Then eventually, be blunt. We respect that, we think it's brave, and if you play too many head games, we will logic ourselves out of believing that you ever liked us, and then we'll logic ourselves out of liking you. Personally, I can forcibly change my feelings about a person if I believe that said feelings are not conducive to my general well-being. Perfect INFP characteristics that you want her to eventually see: you guys are fun and spontaneous (which we like, up to a point, because it can sort of unwind us) but safe; if we open up our Fi to you, you won't crush it. We need to feel in control, not of you, but of ourselves.

Good luck.

Good one, only if I'm really smitten I can only forcibly repress my feelings, not remove them completely.
 

Misty_Mountain_Rose

New member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
1,123
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
4w5
Good one, only if I'm really smitten I can only forcibly repress my feelings, not remove them completely.

Yeah... repress is a better word. But the object of those feelings would never be the wiser in suspecting that they were still there lurking under the surface. I can fake cold when I need to.
 

Qre:us

New member
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
4,890
Where's the "How to seduce an ENTP..." thread? :cry:

Give 'em a run for their money. I.e., make yourself appear just as, if not more, appealing, thought-provoking, challenging, intellectually stimulating, a bit of a dick (meaning, show that you're not all fluffy and will not turn into goo at their first 'bite', and thus, stand up to them), and sarcastic, than their competing reality, aka, the world inside their head. Sha-wing!

*Oh, and don't take offense too easily, esp. when they say, "You're annoying me"...it just means they want some alone time (and you're most likely an ENTP). And, if they test you, test that ass right back...with flair! It gets the juices flowing....

If you both start bickering without missing a beat, they've given you the *thumbs up* silently.

:wubbie:
 

MonkeyGrass

New member
Joined
Jun 13, 2009
Messages
877
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
7
Conk him/her in the head, throw him/her over your shoulder, and take him/her home. That's actually a semi-serious answer too. It's better than waiting for cues from someone who doesn't know how they work. You'll either get disemboweled (they don't like you) or they'll just go along with it (they do like you).

You owe me a new laptop screen, lol. Yeah, that was pretty much true for my INTJ, along with a good dash of presenting myself as a fascinating puzzle (which I am). :D I pretty much ordered him to kiss me for the first time.

And, if they test you, test that ass right back...with flair!

Oh, yeah. Definitely. My INTJ knows that I'm incredibly stubborn once decide something. But, every once in a while, if pushed far enough, I'll do something completely out of character, just to leave him slack jawed and amused. It's fun. ;)
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Why do you want an INTJ? (I wouldn't want an INTJ :D)

I'm a glutton for punishment and my more serious reasons are already all over this forum.

Conk him/her in the head, throw him/her over your shoulder, and take him/her home. That's actually a semi-serious answer too. It's better than waiting for cues from someone who doesn't know how they work. You'll either get disemboweled (they don't like you) or they'll just go along with it (they do like you).

Eh, I think I'll go the more patient route... :shock:

I kind of did that with mine. I conked him in the head with my playfulness, my brains and my directness, and basically invited myself to visit him (the distance made an overnight stay more or less necessary, and sex was definitely implied). We talked for 5 hours straight with some semi-awkward silences (hey, I'm an ENTP, usually all silent periods with people I don't know very well are awkward!) in between, we had some good food and some good wine during the evening, and we were basically enjoying ourselves.

A little later he propositioned me in the most analytical manner I've ever experienced, so I saved him by getting up, going over to him, sitting down across his lap and kissing him. It sure worked. :yes:

If I could do that with out the worry of harrasment I would.

This is only based on the INTJ's I know...

I'm going to agree with the above suggestion of being genuine. If you ever try giving an INTJ the illusion that they're pursuing you, even though you're actually pursuing them, you'd better be damn sure you can pull it off. If they sense you're trying to outsmart them in some little love game, they're going to rip you up one side and down the other, and it won't be pretty. Or, if they choose to be nice, they'll probably just ignore you from that point on.

I'd suggest that you take advantage of any situations that might lead to a short, intense conversation involving something intellectual, or quick-witted, humorous or sarcastic banter.

Then, whatever you do, back off. Even if you feel like you'll explode if you don't see that INTJ again soon, back the hell off. Go away. Hide yourself under a rock. Give them a chance to breathe, and then casually show up again. If they like you, they'll be happy to see you. Only, you probably won't notice because their greeting will probably be an insult. :)

I've actually been filling up my life with things to do so I'm not available all the time. I also need my breathing room, especailly since I'm working on not just relying on my Fi in relationships.

The conversation has everything that gets to me...

1. Sarcasm
2. Off the wall comments
3. Humor
4. Confidence
5. Intelligence

Plus there wasn't the added tension of actually being asked out. I was offered a chance to go back to a place where we'd already met with no awkward, put-you-on-the-spot decision making... I'd have a whole week to think about it.

Confidence I'm shaky on, the rest I do half out of nervousness. :blush:

This. Oh and the friend but not the friend thing. Be open to ideas in progress. Have intellectual discussions, don't take it personally when you encounter something with them and they do the nostril flair - that is what the cretins drink - sort of look. Don't get offended that they need alone time doing alone activities. You need to breathe. We need to be alone. Same thing. Don't worry about them keeping strange hours or sleeping in spurts then being up. It doesn't require a doctor. Don't be a flake. God don't be a flake. As in, show up when you say you will, make commitments and keep them and write things down. DO NOT call me 5 x from the store to find out what I need after you offered to go in the first place. That's why they invented notepads and pens.

Yeah, I've been hanging out with three different NTs over the last two years and it's been fun. Having an ENTP roommate and an ENTP supervisor who sits beside me has developed how I take things. I've also gotten into the habit of keeping writing material around thanks to my years in cadets.

I always liked the "It's the J's job to seduce the P" theory.

What we like and what actually happens don't always work in reality...

What BlackCat said, about being friends first. Talk to her. Make sure you really want to spend a large chunk of time with one of us crazy creatures. Make her laugh, and I can't exactly tell you how to do that, it should just happen if you two are compatible. Then after you guys have had some good N conversations, start throwing in (genuine! she'll be able to see through it if you're not) compliments. She probably gets them often about her intelligence or whatever project she's on at the moment; she will appreciate that, but if you say something about, say, her appearance, assuming whatever you're saying is true, she'll go home that night thinking "Hm." If she's been having fun with you, and she's somewhat open to a relationship at this point in her life, she'll start to think about the possibility of the two of you together. Ni is absurd like this. It plays out scenarios in our heads and drives us crazy.

Don't be too readily available, don't give her time to get sick of you, especially at the beginning. Tease her about silly things (not actual flaws). Then eventually, be blunt. We respect that, we think it's brave, and if you play too many head games, we will logic ourselves out of believing that you ever liked us, and then we'll logic ourselves out of liking you. Personally, I can forcibly repress my feelings about a person if I believe that said feelings are not conducive to my general well-being. Perfect INFP characteristics that you want her to eventually see: you guys are fun and spontaneous (which we like, up to a point, because it can sort of unwind us) but safe; if we open up our Fi to you, you won't crush it. We need to feel in control, not of you, but of ourselves.

Good luck.

I hate head games, goofing off is fun though :D

Good one, only if I'm really smitten I can only forcibly repress my feelings, not remove them completely.

Yeah... repress is a better word. But the object of those feelings would never be the wiser in suspecting that they were still there lurking under the surface. I can fake cold when I need to.

Eh, I'm used to the emotions not showing for a while from dealing with an INTP.
 

Misty_Mountain_Rose

New member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
1,123
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
4w5
Oh, yeah. Definitely. My INTJ knows that I'm incredibly stubborn once decide something. But, every once in a while, if pushed far enough, I'll do something completely out of character, just to leave him slack jawed and amused. It's fun. ;)

Ahhhh l'amore. Keepin the spark alive.

That one little 'out of character' moment probably costs him hours and hours of contemplation about how that fits into his image of you until he settles it. Clever trick! Kudos.
 
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