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Thread: Holiday Apathy

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Jul 2008

    Default Holiday Apathy

    My Mom is an ISFJ. All throughout my childhood, holidays were a BIG deal. She went all the way... and often over the top... but we all looked forward to each and every one.

    As a parent, I often feel guilty because I don't seem to have the same excitement (Ok, it's non-existent most of the time) and I struggle with making ANY kind of deal at all of it for my daughter. It's a chore and a burden. For me, most holidays are just like any other day. This is made worse by the fact that most of my family doesn't live anywhere near us so we often have no one to celebrate with. Lets face it, making a big turkey dinner for 2 is a little depressing.

    Yet, I still manage to make some kind of effort. The result though is disappointing in my mind when I think of all the things my Mom did, and its done out of a sense of obligation (my child should know what it's like to have a Christmas tree and how to color easter eggs) rather than a true sense of enjoyment on my part. I have to fake the smile and the excitement.

    Maybe its just part of growing older... maybe my parents faked their asses off too. Maybe its the INT selfishness that bogs me down.

    Whatever it is... I wish it wouldn't dog me so frequently. :sad:

    Does anyone else experience this?
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  2. #2
    Queen hunter Array Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Jun 2008
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    Maybe I am wrong but to me it looks like that all over developed world holidays are losing on their imporatnce.

    So I don't think you are doing something really odd.

    Btw. I am not holiday person.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array RenaiReborn's Avatar
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    May 2009


    meh. Holidays = day, an excuse for expenditures.

  4. #4
    The Memes Justify the End Array EcK's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
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    Well, the trick is to think about something you wanted to do but couldn't for some reason, or were afraid to do (you know, like rollercoasters or whatever). And do it anyway/then.

    I mean, you don't have to be mother theresa or anything. Just do something you like to do.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member Array ceecee's Avatar
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    Apr 2008


    I hated the holidays when I was growing up. My mother got so stressed out and it made them a nightmare. When I had children of my own I was determined not to let anyone suck the fun out of holidays for them. I created a lot of our own traditions. For example - no formal type meals on Christmas. If we feel like fried chicken, that's what we have. Spend the whole day in pajamas and watch A Christmas Story. I still hide Easter eggs and they still color them even though my two are grown and nearly grown. You take what you like from tradition and toss the rest.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  6. #6


    I have boycotted all holidays this year. Next year I plan on doing them my way which is likely nothing like my former in laws do them.

    My former mom-in-law has thei very odd Fe approach to everything and all the holidays have all these rules. But thier whole family missed the point of the holidays in the first place.

    I am rebelling and saying work is the excuse this year.

  7. #7


    Holidays would be important if they had anything to do with family and community, but anymore its just marketing and expenditures like KristinSnowdeal said.

  8. #8
    darkened dreams Array labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
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    I can relate to not getting that into holidays. With a small family it might make sense to invent traditions that fit with your needs. You mentioned the trouble of cooking a big turkey dinner for two. There might be an especially delicious restaurant open on Thanksgiving that you could go to for an easier tradition. One of my favorite memories of Thanksgiving was when I was away from home, but was able to visit my brother and sister at college. We went to a gas station, microwaved and ate frozen burritos for Thanksgiving dinner. For some reason that is one of my favorite memories. Sometimes a simple, but original memories can mean a great deal. Also, for kids there might be activities that others plan for things like Easter egg hunts. I would suggest finding activities that others have planned, or making simple, convenient family plans. The memories can still mean a lot.
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  9. #9
    won't be missed Array /DG/'s Avatar
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    Mar 2009


    I used to love holidays! An excuse to be happy for no reason. Especially Christmas. Something about it was just so... magical (not just the presents hehe). But somehow... things just aren't the same any more. It makes me feel awful that it doesn't have that magical feeling anymore. It's just another day. D: I think most everyone feels this way when they get older. I've also noticed that my parents aren't as enthusiastic about holidays either. I think they "slack off" because we've (my siblings) gotten older. I try my best to make them special for my younger brother, but really I'm faking it. So I kinda know what you mean there.

    Maybe on some holidays you could do some traveling and visit your relatives. I don't know if this would be possible for you, but I've always thought family togetherness makes holidays more enjoyable. I would always love it when it was Christmastime and most of my aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, you name it came over to our house to celebrate.

  10. #10
    Permabanned Array
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    Mar 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Maybe I am wrong but to me it looks like that all over developed world holidays are losing on their imporatnce.
    I would hazard a guess that this is mainly happening in western societies, not so much worldwide where cultures are VERY different, and they have much stronger family cohesion, values, religious faith, and reverence for the true meaning behind whatever holidays they celebrate.

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