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Thread: Holiday Apathy

  1. #41
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post

    I think that's pretty common - I know that it's the way I feel. To me, holidays are just another day (at best), and I just don't see the big deal. I hate to make light of your unfortunate experience with your INTJ... but I can *totally* see him enjoying preparing the meal (let me guess - he was more or less by himself here, and had a task to try and excel at/focus on, rather than socializing/entertaining)... and then being uncomfortable the rest of the time.
    That's the funny thing though, our holidays were usually just the 4 of us (him, me and kids). I was happy with that, i can't be arsed to do the hostess thing, its easier to let someone else do it. . Lol, i am not materialistic in the slightest, so when it comes to presents, i will take the time to buy practical items, when someone opens them and says in a monotone voice 'thanks' then pisses off to go on the computer, i suppose you have to question why you went to all that time and effort, if the appreciation isn't there. Oh well.



    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    I don't know if there's an answer to this - it's not even a situation that's particularly amenable to compromise. I know that my Mom (who I believe would agree with you on the importance of holidays) would prefer lots of family holiday get-togethers, whereas I'd prefer a phone call (if that - holiday calls tend to have more potential for ugliness and conflict than any other) and visiting at pretty much any other time of the year. If I had a family of my own, I could probably tolerate small, casual get togethers on perhaps one or two holidays a year... but I'd still be glad when they were over.
    I don't need answers, i was just trying giving an opinion from a different perspective. With most of my family, i prefer the phone call. For my kids, that is where i will put the effort in. In England, holidays are not a huge deal like America, gosh, on Boxing day, i take the tree down (well the best part is over, so whats the point keeping it up).
    I intend this year to keep it more low key for me and the boys. I am going to make the effort to not stress and just enjoy it for what it is. Presents. .

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    INTJ's have a hard time having fun. It's like pulling teeth.

    Yeah, i noticed that, but it doesn't stop you from trying though.

  2. #42
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    I dislike birthdays, mother's day, father's day, christmas (sinterklaasfeest) and all such events.

    But the one I dislike the most is valentine's day.



    All of these days is like saying I do something good one day of the year, and the other days of the year, it isn't important. I especially dislike people going to on someones birthday as the ONLY day a year they actually meet up. YUCK! And valentines, it's like you are sweet to your love for one day a year, why not the rest of the year? Do you need that one day for some weird reason? Is it a means to keep you on track? Why do you like it!?

    I'm a valentine all year around.


    Why not make valentines the opposite. Make it a hate each other day, so you can be loving and caring the other 364 days a year. Having one day a year to be bitchy and naggy.

    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  3. #43
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    I dislike birthdays, mother's day, father's day, christmas (sinterklaasfeest) and all such events.

    But the one I dislike the most is valentine's day.



    All of these days is like saying I do something good one day of the year, and the other days of the year, it isn't important.
    You should pair up with my INFJ, she says the same thing. Though I see the logic behind it aswell, I never really thought about such things
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #44
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    What, you are dating the girl of my dreams!?

    How dare you, tsk tsk.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  5. #45
    videodrones; questions Verfremdungseffekt's Avatar
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    Yeah, it's one of those questions. I never know how to respond when people ask me how I celebrated a holiday. It's like asking me how I am, except more confounding, and with more tentacles.

    First it has to register that there was a holiday; then I have to figure out when it was, then just what I might have been up to that day, then if any of that is worth mentioning. My response will be along the lines of, "I think I tried to write a little. I might have made a sandwich." And either they think I'm joking, or they start to feel sorry for me. Or they're just plain shocked. So I say, well, I did have a deadline.

    I've gotten the same even for weekend plans. A couple of months back a girl asked me what I was up to that evening. "Oh, I guess I'm going to try to finish this article," I said. And she sputtered back at me, "But it's Saturday!" Yes, well. So it was. "Good night for writing," I said.

  6. #46
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dotdalidot View Post
    Holidays are just so meh. Why do we have to force fun and happiness and getting along type thing on just one specified day? I guess I just don't like the 'forced' aspect of it.

    I like days where it feels like a holiday but it isn't a holiday.
    Agreed

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Holidays are probably one of the least important things to me. Halloween is fun and all because you can dress up, but they just aren't a huge deal for me. My ENFJ mom goes totally insane over holidays, redecorates the whole house for each holiday etc. Ugh.
    Halloween is one of the holidays I can still get into. I dress up with my daughter and we go out with her friends and adults I know. The sad part though, is that every year there seems to be fewer and fewer people participating. It IS a very ridiculous holiday, with no real point whatsoever... which is probably why I like it lol There isn't any obligation to buy gifts, spend the day in the sun over a BBQ pit... just pure childishness. Despite the commercialization, it still manages to hold a 'fun' aspect that most of the other holidays don't have.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Sure, but that's my point, as well. It is up to you to make it special. Maybe it can't be that way with everyone you care about, but we can make a difference even in trying to help not set expectations too high. It's more about recognizing what is important.
    This is true. One year (Kindergarden? 1st?) my daughter had a school project to make a big, giant turkey feather on paperboard and decorate it to be part of the 'class turkey' they were making. It sparked an idea... and so each year since then we've decorated another feather of the same size, and whoever might be spending the holiday with us makes one too. We're getting quite a collection, and some day it will be a visual reminder of each of our Thanksgivings.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    The main problem is that we no longer, as a culture, seem to value very much. We are completely atomized and disassociated as a culture. Mass media and the loosening of family ties due to widespread movement across large distances have created a papier mache culture held together with bullshit bumper sticker truisms and empty materialism.
    I agree. Its sad, but true. Its like everyone puts on the tap dance that is expected of them, all the while wondering how they could be better spending their time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Why not make valentines the opposite. Make it a hate each other day, so you can be loving and caring the other 364 days a year. Having one day a year to be bitchy and naggy.
    Hey... I LIKE this idea!! I've never had a good Valentines day. When I was younger it irritated the hell out of me because either the guy I was with didn't acknowledge the holiday or I was single. As I got older it became just another day, and as a parent it became just another thing I had to buy for my daughter's classroom.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aderack View Post
    Yeah, it's one of those questions. I never know how to respond when people ask me how I celebrated a holiday. It's like asking me how I am, except more confounding, and with more tentacles.

    First it has to register that there was a holiday; then I have to figure out when it was, then just what I might have been up to that day, then if any of that is worth mentioning. My response will be along the lines of, "I think I tried to write a little. I might have made a sandwich." And either they think I'm joking, or they start to feel sorry for me.

    I've gotten the same even for weekend plans. A couple of months back a girl asked me what I was up to that evening. "Oh, I guess I'm going to try to finish this article," I said. And she sputtered back at me, "But it's Saturday!" Yes, well. So it was. "Good night for writing," I said.
    lol... if I didn't have my daughter I doubt they'd even register on my radar as holidays except if I had a day off of work because of it.
    Embrace the possibilities.

  7. #47
    HAHHAHHAH! INTJ123's Avatar
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    hmm this was terribly predictable. Do I even have to answer? Take a wild guess how I feel about holidays.

  8. #48
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    I like holidays, but only if they're distilled to the essence of what they are - a big excuse for people who otherwise would not be able to spend time with one another to meet and reconnect. Spare me the religion, and I'd be as happy as a clam.

    The only real gripe I have is like I said before, with the gift giving, not because I don't like giving, but because the timing's all wrong. Everything is so forced, and I consequently can't use the good ol' intuition to come up with a mindblowingly good gift that's usually at a reasonable price. I usually just end up spending a ton of money, knowing people generally like expensive things, and that's just shallow.

  9. #49
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    What's the point of making culturally-sanctioned days special then, if this is your viewpoint? Why not make that every day?
    If every day is special, no day is special.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  10. #50
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    If every day is special, no day is special.
    Spare me the tautologies .

    The deeper question is why a day needs to be special - the happy man needs not a special day, because he is content in the way things are, no?

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