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  1. #1
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    Default ENTJ's: if in love, are there any romantic gestures you appreciate?

    My boyfriend's birthday and our one-year anniversary is coming up in a few weeks and I am trying to decide what to do for him that will be special and out-of-the ordinary. Since he is inclined to get uncomfortable if things get too cheesy, I thought I'd enlist the help of others with a similar personality to his.

    I have a gift...somewhat practical, somewhat fun. I am framing some of his favorite comic books for him. Other than that I'm not sure what I'm going to do for him, but I'm not too concerned about coming up with gift ideas.

    What I am trying to figure out is what kind of activity will be meaningful to him. Although he doesn't enjoy a lot of sappiness, we definitely have our tender moments and he enjoys those as well as I do. I am just trying to figure out how to stay on the right line of tender without crossing over to sappy territory.

    So, NT's, particularly ENTJ's, are there any gestures a SO has done for you that were meaningful to you? Or anything you know you would like to have done for you? Do you have any advice or ideas for me? Please be nice.
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

  2. #2
    Junior Member littlemissgiggles's Avatar
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    What might be best would be something that would really surprise him and remind him how much you notice about his likes and dislikes. For example, perhaps you remember him casually saying that he really likes a certain restaurant, or that he wishes he had some really specific item ("Wow, that purple baseball cap is really cool. Wouldn't it be cool to wear a purple baseball cap?"). It sounds like you already have a great gift idea.

    You could also try a day trip or something based on his interests. Think of something he likes that could be turned into an activity (art museums, hiking, role playing) and then find somewhere he's never been that would be a logical point of interest (for example, if he's into the outdoors, find a hiking trail he's never gone on with a really cool view that he'd love).

    Personally, I'm a fan of sappy (fill my bathtub with roses and give me a massage please) but what it comes down to ultimately is the thought and effort put into it, along with how much my SO has figured out about my preferences. My boyfriend knows, for example, that flowers don't excite me as much as a planned night out, partly because flowers don't serve a functional purpose and partly because any idiot can get his girlfriend flowers with no thought or effort. Similarly, I like to talk, and spend quality time with him, so if he's trying to impress he won't take me to a movie. I can do that myself.
    Yes, I'm aware of the irony.

  3. #3
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    A nice hotel suite, sexy lingerie and candles. I'll let you take it from there.

  4. #4
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frank View Post
    A nice hotel suite, sexy lingerie and candles. I'll let you take it from there.
    I have a hard time thinking of any hetero guy who wouldn't appreciate that unless he was completely clueless.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  5. #5
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    Sexy lingerie is the best first step.

    Then you can think about buying him a present that he really wants... something he's been talking about for a while.

    Cook dinner and do his favorite food

    During the meal, constantly try to shift the conversation to something more abstract

    If you are more competent/knowledge than him in anything, you can prove him wrong and argue with him. As long as you have good and logical reasons to think you're right, he'll respect you a great deal.

    In bed, just be natural. Nothing special to do, apart letting your body speak. Remember that he loves you because you are YOU, not for the things that you DO. But the things that you do can be nice from time to time also, such as on a special occasion

  6. #6
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    We are abstaining. Otherwise a weekend away with sexy lingerie would DEFINITELY have been planned long ago.

    Thanks for replying. Some of the ideas have been helpful.
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

  7. #7
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by littlemissgiggles View Post
    What might be best would be something that would really surprise him and remind him how much you notice about his likes and dislikes. For example, perhaps you remember him casually saying that he really likes a certain restaurant, or that he wishes he had some really specific item ("Wow, that purple baseball cap is really cool. Wouldn't it be cool to wear a purple baseball cap?"). It sounds like you already have a great gift idea.

    You could also try a day trip or something based on his interests. Think of something he likes that could be turned into an activity (art museums, hiking, role playing) and then find somewhere he's never been that would be a logical point of interest (for example, if he's into the outdoors, find a hiking trail he's never gone on with a really cool view that he'd love).
    I thought of that, but most of the things we love to do together are outdoor activities. We like to try to hike about ten miles at a time. That's rough for a day trip right now because the heat index here has been around 114-degrees lately.

    He is a sound technician, and so his whole life revolves around his audio work. I can't think of anything *fun* to plan involving that...if I tried I would worry that my lack of knowledge in the subject would end up with a day of frustration for him rather than enjoyment.

    He does love all kinds of good food. I am house sitting that weekend at a nice home, so I thought about having him over during the evening for a candlelight dinner with his favorite foods, engaging-but-unemotional conversation, and a movie and a back rub or something like that. We eat together all the time, so I was thinking candlelight with some of his favorite music playing might be nice for a switch from the everyday norm. I'm just not sure if it's too sappy.

    Dangit, he is so hard to impress! Haha.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    Sexy lingerie is the best first step.

    Then you can think about buying him a present that he really wants... something he's been talking about for a while.

    Cook dinner and do his favorite food

    During the meal, constantly try to shift the conversation to something more abstract

    If you are more competent/knowledge than him in anything, you can prove him wrong and argue with him. As long as you have good and logical reasons to think you're right, he'll respect you a great deal.

    In bed, just be natural. Nothing special to do, apart letting your body speak. Remember that he loves you because you are YOU, not for the things that you DO. But the things that you do can be nice from time to time also, such as on a special occasion
    Some good ideas. Any ideas for abstract conversation starters? Haha, yes, I'm for real. We have had some conversations about time travel, which were oddly enough initiated by me, but that's about as creative as I get and that subject can only be discussed so many times. Maybe I should start another topic about NT abstract conversation starters.

    Thanks for the ideas thus far.
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

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