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  1. #51
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    My main point is that when a relationship is neither positive nor negative, INTJs (the ones I know and the ones I've seen responding on the forum) tend to axe the relationship. I interpreted the INTJ writing someone off in this context as something that is done when a person serves no apparent purpose, not really doing anything good or bad. My point is what difference does it make, they're not doing anything so they should be left as they are. To take the extra step to "write the person off" creates a tension that wasn't there in the before. This contributes to the INTJ being viewed as intimidating. That is what the thread is about right?.
    Ah, I see what you're saying. I was responding directly to Wolf's comment about psychopaths and INTJs, not the OP.

    When I write people off, it's not because they're indifferent in my world, or I am indifferent to them. It's because it's necessary. The case you give isn't something I would do. If someone is neither a positive nor a negative in my life they simply "are". They're usually not close enough to me to have much of an impact on how I live my life.

    I prefer to be left to my own devices so I tend to leave others to their own devices as well. It isn't writing off, it's just how I am. If that makes sense. Just because I don't seek you out doesn't mean I'm done with you, or you're dead to me </italian grandmother voice>.

    Of course if the people around the INTJ know that the writing off happens, that might be intimidating.

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  2. #52
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I know lamps aren't people. It was an oversimplified example.

    My main point is that when a relationship is neither positive nor negative, INTJs (the ones I know and the ones I've seen responding on the forum) tend to axe the relationship. I interpreted the INTJ writing someone off in this context as something that is done when a person serves no apparent purpose, not really doing anything good or bad. My point is what difference does it make, they're not doing anything so they should be left as they are. To take the extra step to "write the person off" creates a tension that wasn't there in the before. This contributes to the INTJ being viewed as intimidating. That is what the thread is about right?

    If the person is dragging you down, by all means get rid of them. No one should have to put up with that and you're right to feel relieved.
    It is just something we do mentally. Although, I suppose we might project some kind of subconcious cues to that effect. It is normally something we do without thinking. It really isn't an extra step to write a person off. In fact, it's quite the opposite. We streamline.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  3. #53
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Metamorphosis, do you 'write off' people who haven't betrayed your trust?

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  4. #54
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Yes. I think everyone is reading too much into it. When I walk in a room, I survey everyone. If it isn't a threat, something interesting, or an attractive female, than it gets written off. Once I realize they aren't important, they may as well not exist. It's not like I'm hurting their feelings. If they talk to me, I'll respond.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  5. #55
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    It is just something we do mentally. Although, I suppose we might project some kind of subconcious cues to that effect. It is normally something we do without thinking. It really isn't an extra step to write a person off. In fact, it's quite the opposite. We streamline.
    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    Metamorphosis, do you 'write off' people who haven't betrayed your trust?
    As in, good friends with common interests for many many years, trying to start a business, not being compatible, and drifting completely apart.

    INTJs write people off based on subjective values of the person. That's what is scary - any failure can make you a write off. It doesn't have to be a big thing... they just cease to have you in their 'inner circle'. No one likes having that happen to them, and the uncertainty of what causes it... that's the intimidation.

  6. #56
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Edited to say:

    You got in before me, pt.

    Ok. I write people off. I just refer to it as being 'selective'.

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  7. #57
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    As in, good friends with common interests for many many years, trying to start a business, not being compatible, and drifting completely apart.

    INTJs write people off based on subjective values of the person. That's what is scary - any failure can make you a write off. It doesn't have to be a big thing... they just cease to have you in their 'inner circle'. No one likes having that happen to them, and the uncertainty of what causes it... that's the intimidation.
    Ok. In that sense, I don't normally. I was moreso talking about random people. To write off someone who is close to me they have to have wronged me in some way (even if they aren't aware of it).
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  8. #58
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    Ok. In that sense, I don't normally. I was moreso talking about random people. To write off someone who is close to me they have to have wronged me in some way (even if they aren't aware of it).
    Ok, that is what I was referring to. I've always called it "dismissing someone". Usually they don't know about it.

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  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    What is it about us that causes people to think that we are stand-offish, aloof, intimidating, etc.?

    I use to think that it was my dry humor and sarcasm, but I've had waitresses stop in their tracks on the way to the table and then say something to the extent of, "Why are you looking at me like you hate me," when all I did was glance in their direction. This hasn't been an issue in awhile really, but I still find it interesting.
    Hmm, my husband is an INTJ, my father an INTX and I have a INTJ friend as well. After a fair amount of though, I have to say, I don't find any of them intimidating and I don't find the INTJs I've meet online intimidating either. Stubborn, selfconfident, sometimes prejudiced but not intimidating in any way.
    Verbal IQ Test

    SubFacor IQ score = 65
    Subscale percentile = 1

    You appear to have a very limited vocabulary and lack the ability to identify the correct responses for a variety of different questions. A deficient vocabulary can hinder you in many ways; you may struggle to find the correct words when speaking, fail to understand what others are communicating to you, or come across as inarticulate to others.

  10. #60
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    That's what is scary - any failure can make you a write off.
    It doesn't need to be. Think of it this way: every shortsighted dismissal (and it is caprice, I don't agree with a scrap of what's been said) is a bridge or two burnt. One really can't get very far -- or at least very far in more than one direction.

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