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  1. #21
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    What is it about us that causes people to think that we are stand-offish, aloof, intimidating, etc.?
    Programming.

  2. #22
    The elder Holmes Mycroft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    My take:

    We are naturally reserved in daily interaction (like other I's), we are naturally oblivious to what sociologists call face-preserving/-saving behavior (like other T's), we are naturally non-conformist (like other N's) so we don't emulate any social courtesies we don't understand and (unlike the intimidating runners-up, the INTPs) we exude complacent certitude when we do interact. In sum, we seem mysterious and anti-social yet confident = intimidating.
    Agreed. We're introverts who don't have the good grace to be uncomfortable and retiring in social situations, even having the gall to be confident. Everybody knows that only people who keep up on the latest trends and have a large network of friends have the right to feel good about themselves.
    Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that's the Stuff Life is made of.

    -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1746 --

  3. #23
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Can someone answer me as to why many bosses of mine have been intimidated by me while I've been equally intimidated by them?
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  4. #24
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Can someone answer me as to why many bosses of mine have been intimidated by me while I've been equally intimidated by them?
    Introversion in itself can intimidate people because they don't know what you're thinking. (I've seen perfectly amiable but socially insecure introverts scare each other through mutual silence. ) Could it be that your bosses have intimidated you (for whatever reason) and that your reservation has then in turn stimulated their insecurities?

  5. #25
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    Introversion in itself can intimidate people because they don't know what you're thinking. (I've seen perfectly amiable but socially insecure introverts scare each other through mutual silence. ) Could it be that your bosses have intimidated you (for whatever reason) and that your reservation has then in turn stimulated their insecurities?
    Hmm, sounds plausible, especially with the ESTP boss I had. I constantly put him off balance, especially when I was talking at meetings or him and I speaking directly with each other. It's strange watching an outwardly confident man turn into a shambling mound of insecurity...

    Edit: Oh, and that watching two introverts intimidating each other seems like the dynamic with my other bosses.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #26
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Glad to be of service.

  7. #27
    Senior Member Veneti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    What is it about us that causes people to think that we are stand-offish, aloof, intimidating, etc.?

    I use to think that it was my dry humor and sarcasm, but I've had waitresses stop in their tracks on the way to the table and then say something to the extent of, "Why are you looking at me like you hate me," when all I did was glance in their direction. This hasn't been an issue in awhile really, but I still find it interesting.
    Hang on... Its not like all INTJ's are cold blooded murderers in disguise.

    I think there's a whole distribution of INTJ's with social skills. However most INTJ's can simply turn off the "lets be social bunnies" and as such be pretty cutting and sarcastic... (Because you don't rate their intellect etc).

    It is weird though, I don't get caught up in the office politics... and its amazing to drop down into their conversations about how everyone is doing this and that trying to cover problems here and there etc...(Basically just trying to cover their arses)... I can deliver or I will acknowledge that I can't as soon as I am aware... so I just don't get the politics. (Worse still is politicised organisations that have large numbers of non NTJ's making the decisions...Arrgg..)

  8. #28
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    I can tell you why I do, sometimes. I'm the quiet guy in the meeting. The one that looks asleep, who is just a warm body. I'm watching you though, always watching. I'm looking for holes.

    Then I ask "How" it can/would be done. Or when. Then I ask for data. People don't like that question. Either you have a good sales person who has no practical knowledge, or you are an N selling an idea... it's rare you get a presenter that can answer how something is done (but it does happen... but technical people normally make poor presenters).

    (Incidently, this is intentional - I have a list of cognitively biased questions that I always try to ask. They are among the hardest questions to answer - nothing as powerful as the "Why do you believe what you believe" stuff).

    But it's the quiet sniping attack. INTJs, however, also have the limit move: dismissal of opponent as a human being. It takes no time to do and involves high level contempt. Very powerful, and yes, intimidating.

    Oh, closed minded certitude works well too, along with the limit move and with the attribute "No social graces", is very effective at intimidation.

  9. #29
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    But it's the quiet sniping attack. INTJs, however, also have the limit move: dismissal of opponent as a human being. It takes no time to do and involves high level contempt. Very powerful, and yes, intimidating.
    This made me smile when I read it. ...then I realized it probably shouldn't have...
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  10. #30
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    Oh, closed minded certitude works well too, along with the limit move and with the attribute "No social graces", is very effective at intimidation.
    The limit move? Please explain.

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