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  1. #271
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    Default INTJ Intimidation

    Quote Originally Posted by Recoleta View Post
    In my experience with my one good INTJ friend I think he initially seems really stand-offish and aloof because he hardly ever lets people see him for who he is. He keeps a lot to himself and is not big on self-disclosure...it literally took years for him to talk about himself on a personal level. Also, he is terrible at initiating and maintaining communication with people. It seems he could go months without speaking to people (even his best friends) and that doesn't bother him at all. Is it really that hard to pick up the phone every once in awhile and simply say, "Hey, how are ya?" I think just for those 2 reasons alone INTJ's are hard to get to know.

    Also, there really is something about the general facial expression that INTJ's have. My friend almost always has a serious look on his face, and his eyes are very piercing...I think one article I read on INTJ's said something like, "You feel as if they can see right through you" and I'd say that can be really accurate at times. Although, when he is really happy you can see a visible joy in his eyes...and goodness gracious, is it ever attractive
    My INTJ lives in public housing, which can be a very rough place to live, yet no one--and I mean no one--messes with him: not the druggies, the drunks, not even management. Nevertheless, he will help those he considers worthy of his protection.

    It took probably ten years before he began to tell me little tidbits about himself and later I found out I was the only one he was confiding in. I guess I should've seen the love thing coming (I did have some sense of the attraction forming), but the day he looked at me with those piercing eyes and said "I love you," it initially scared the bejesus out of me. You're right about the joy visible in the eyes Now that the relationship is on a different plane, it's there a lot. Other things have changed as well; while I can tell self-disclosure is still difficult for him, he allows me to draw him out a lot more than before.
    It's a blessing...and a curse.

    Originally Posted by Anja
    I don't have room for shame in my life.

    INFJ, 4w5 sx

  2. #272
    Senior Member ed111's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    They're usually thinking something like "that's a pile of crap you're talking, I so want to tell you, but sadly I don't have the social or communication skills to get away with it, all that'll happen is I'll look like an asshole and everyone will rally round you, damn, I wish I had your ability to make people like you!"
    I agree with this apart from that I still tell people regardless of whether they think I'm an asshole; that is their business. Unfortunately this does come across as points-scoring. However, my objective is to improve the efficiency of the organisation. To a degree, I don't care who takes credit for my ideas so long as they get implemented.

    I don't think, I wish I had your ability to make people like me. I think damn, I wish people weren't so ignorant, small-minded, petty, and driven to judge things at a superficial level.

    I think this kind of behaviour may have significantly slowed human evolution.

  3. #273
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    Default INTJ Intimidation

    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    It's not like writing people off and buring bodies are similar. I can't believe the idea of writing someone off is that foreign to some that it would appear so.
    Nah. I do it too, though I call it "door-slamming." And I burn bridges, not bodies. Maybe it's a "J" thing.
    It's a blessing...and a curse.

    Originally Posted by Anja
    I don't have room for shame in my life.

    INFJ, 4w5 sx

  4. #274
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ed111 View Post

    I don't think, I wish I had your ability to make people like me. I think damn, I wish people weren't so ignorant, small-minded, petty, and driven to judge things at a superficial level.

    I think this kind of behaviour may have significantly slowed human evolution.
    My INTJ says he thinks that on the surface level, but he confesses that it's more often than not just something he tells himself to cover up for the fact that he does really actually wish people liked him, but feels ashamed of wishing that, because he thinks it's stupid to want to be liked by morons - though he says he often only tells himself they're morons because it makes him feel better about them not liking him. It's all part of the great effort to not be, or at least not seem, vulnerable, even to himself.
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  5. #275
    Senior Member Valuable_Money's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    It's the dead NT eyes.
    I know I dont count because im INTP but I have on two seperate occassions made a woman scream in terror from looking at me.

    The first time it happened she fell over and screamed "OH MY GOD HE WANTS TO KILL ME"(i wish I was joking) she apologized afterwords.

    The second time it was a chick who was talking to a freind of mine, she ran off and from what my freind gathered aparently I had been stalking her for the last 2 years(I think she might of been a little inbalanced )

  6. #276
    HAHHAHHAH! INTJ123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    What is it about us that causes people to think that we are stand-offish, aloof, intimidating, etc.?

    I use to think that it was my dry humor and sarcasm, but I've had waitresses stop in their tracks on the way to the table and then say something to the extent of, "Why are you looking at me like you hate me," when all I did was glance in their direction. This hasn't been an issue in awhile really, but I still find it interesting.
    Maybe it's the fact that we are like that, at least on the exterior, regardless of whether you are aware you project that kind of image, people will still percieve you that way. Not to mention that we are critical thinkers and when thinking we tend not to show any emotion and may even look troubled if trying to figure something complex out or in deep thought.

    I know what you mean though... I've even known this chick for like 8 years and the last time I saw her she was like, are you always like this?!?! (aloof) I thought she should know better but I don't think people can help but percieve us that way, especially other feeling types.

  7. #277
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valuable_Money View Post
    I know I dont count because im INTP but I have on two seperate occassions made a woman scream in terror from looking at me.

    The first time it happened she fell over and screamed "OH MY GOD HE WANTS TO KILL ME"(i wish I was joking) she apologized afterwords.

    The second time it was a chick who was talking to a freind of mine, she ran off and from what my freind gathered aparently I had been stalking her for the last 2 years(I think she might of been a little inbalanced )
    Ummm out of curiosity what do you usually look like? Those are pretty extreme responses...

    I don't find INTJs intimidation, merely aloft for the most part. But then again, so am I, so I'm fine with that. I've interacted with many many INTJs though, all of them seem to be like that. So I'd say that's probably not typical judgment.
    My stuff (design & other junk) lives here: http://nnbox.ca

  8. #278
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    who keeps subscribing me to this thread?
    I don't wanna!

  9. #279
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    I scare and intimidate people on regular basis without even trying and often I am not even aware of it.

    For example: I was talking to a girl that does not know me well but I was trying to more warm and friendly with her. (just for the sake of it).

    But after 15 minutes I got "OMG you are so cold person.:shock." directly into my face.

    I am not bothered by this but often I am wondering what I am doing to people that they dare to say something like this so directly.

  10. #280
    Senior Member forzen's Avatar
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    I haven't met any INTJ irl .

    I say cold things to people, but they think i'm joking...little do they know .
    This post grammatical errors had been intentionally left uncorrected.

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