But it's not that we can't or refuse to be convinced. I see how this reaction can be supremely frustrating and can come off as an unwillingness to accept someone's point... and I think it's probably one of the reasons we're so difficult to deal with.
In addition to this reaction, which I'm sure is bad enough, you then have to argue the point (every point) with us. Arguing something is how I understand it and people often misunderstand my intentions when I do. I think this is what people mistake for this "closed minded certitude" thing. And I can see how most types would want to say, "you know what? screw this!' when we start in on this arguing-to-understand thing. And I can see how it can be misconstrued as just being difficult or being unwilling to listen to you.
I would say that the trick to dealing with this kind of behavior on the part of an INTJ (and this is what my best friend does and I think he's the person who understands me best in the world... he's ISTJ, btw) is to not be phased by it. Make your point, tell us why you have come to that conclusion and be prepared to defend it. If your INTJ seems to be antagonistic about the argument don't take it personally, just point it out to them and they will probably apologize and try to be more civilized (assuming you're dealing with a reasonable INTJ). Then back your opinion up with examples. If they respect you they will consider your argument and may end up agreeing with you.
Obviously this won't work for all INTJs... there are members of every type who are unreasonable, antagonistic, rude or crazy... but I think it will work with most.
I realize that this post is basically "here's how you need to change your behavior to accommodate us" and that's not really a solution. There may be something we might do to work on it ourselves. I would welcome any suggestions. But don't ask us to just take your word for it... I think that goes against our nature.