[INTJ] INTJ Intimidation

[Totenkindly]

I've never understand anger that would cause you to throw chairs or smash things. When I get really angry I stop myself from damaging things since I know that I a) have to replace it, b) clean it up. Am I the only one with such practical considerations in the heat of the moment?

No, I do not throw chairs either. Like you said, too much mess afterwards.

Well:
1. She grew up in a horrible family situation and is full of seething anger.
2. She wants a career but also had two kids and children disrupt the order of life / make her feel out of control of her life.
3. Her interpersonal skills are terrible.

Her INTP husband looks like an ENFP compared to her. I think the big thing is the anger issues that never got resolved; she is like a barrel of rocket fuel around an open flame, going from unlit to explosion in the space of a second.

 

[Natrushka]

Throw chair, not destroy life: Everyone knows and hears about it. loose canon. Everyone now thinks it's over. Move on with plan B; destroy life. No one is the wiser.

Fixed.

 

[ptgatsby]

Fixed.

Heh, if only it worked that way. When things go wrong, everyone remembers what triggered the event. By staying calm, the original condition is suspect. Likewise, people won't know when they have triggered it, making them cautious about pushing any farther.

 

[Natrushka]

That must be teh difference. INTJ = most people are stupid

 

[ptgatsby]

That must be teh difference. INTJ = most people are stupid

Heh, they normally are. But just as it's the one that isn't stupid that is dangerous, so becomes every single person you underestimate!

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

I thought that "mature" INTJ's secretly plot revenge rather than openly attacking someone.

 

[Metamorphosis]

I thought that "mature" INTJ's secretly plot revenge rather than openly attacking someone.

There's a difference between just being straight pissed off at irrational people and have a seething anger because of betrayal or something like that.

 

[Metamorphosis]

I've never understand anger that would cause you to throw chairs or smash things. When I get really angry I stop myself from damaging things since I know that I a) have to replace it, b) clean it up. Am I the only one with such practical considerations in the heat of the moment?

I've heard that when types go into this mode (catastrophe mode/really angry/etc) that they temporarily change into their opposite type since the brain has decided that whatever it was doing wasn't working. Thus...INTJ=ESFP, whereas you would become ISTJ.

 

[Vortex]

Metamorphosis; that seems reasonable. Yeah, the more I think about it, the more reasonable that explanation seems, also when witnessing other types and their anger management.

I'm not sure if it explains how I can also get to a point where I'm physically violent with other people and get into fullblown fights (it's been years since the last time, but still). Any thoughts on that?

 

[Metamorphosis]

Metamorphosis; that seems reasonable. Yeah, the more I think about it, the more reasonable that explanation seems, also when witnessing other types and their anger management.

I'm not sure if it explains how I can also get to a point where I'm physically violent with other people and get into fullblown fights (it's been years since the last time, but still). Any thoughts on that?

I assume you are a male, so I will answer from that standpoint. I think that it is perfectly possible for us to get really angry and not switch types as long as we still feel like we have some measure of control. I think that the real problem comes when we realize that we are not only mad, but losing control of what is happening around us. (This would be when I would lash out, or you would mentally retreat to brood.)

I've seen ISTJs explode in a scary way, and I've seen ExFPs get mad and become totally quiet in a corner. It's like they are trying to suffocate everyone in the room with the raw angry emotion. It's weird how you can feel it.

Not to mention, ENFP males are naturally aggressive (so I've heard). One of my best friends is one, and he managed to threaten a bank manager and pull a tire iron on a guy in just one week. So, it makes since that you could have potentially been very angry, without quite reaching your breaking point.

I know I haven't in years.

 

[Vortex]

I'm female, but those were some interesting insights. Thanks

 

[runvardh]

I've never understand anger that would cause you to throw chairs or smash things. When I get really angry I stop myself from damaging things since I know that I a) have to replace it, b) clean it up. Am I the only one with such practical considerations in the heat of the moment?

Hmmm, when I'm going to smash something I tend to make sure the resulting mess will be easier to clean up anyway. Also by that time I've already convinced myself that the effort needed later is totally worth seeing the thing in a zillion pieces.

 

[Mendacity]

I've heard that when types go into this mode (catastrophe mode/really angry/etc) that they temporarily change into their opposite type since the brain has decided that whatever it was doing wasn't working. Thus...INTJ=ESFP, whereas you would become ISTJ.

That's an interesting point and I'd like to hear more about it. I used to have anger issues when I was in my late teens and early 20s. I never beat anyone up with a baseball bat (or even hurt them badly), but I did sometimes black out (meaning I don't remember anything about the incident at all) and act violently. I think it only happened 4 or 5 times in my whole life, but that's the only way I'd lose control, is for all conscious thought to kind of cease. Is that ESFP-like or am I just crazy? :crazy:

 

[runvardh]

That's an interesting point and I'd like to hear more about it. I used to have anger issues when I was in my late teens and early 20s. I never beat anyone up with a baseball bat (or even hurt them badly), but I did sometimes black out (meaning I don't remember anything about the incident at all) and act violently. I think it only happened 4 or 5 times in my whole life, but that's the only way I'd lose control, is for all conscious thought to kind of cease. Is that ESFP-like or am I just crazy? :crazy:

Then would it be shadow ESTJ-like to calmly follow a younger brother around the house while he's running screaming bloody murder because you're chasing him with an aluminium bat?

 

[Mendacity]

Then would it be shadow ESTJ-like to calmly follow a younger brother around the house while he's running screaming bloody murder because you're chasing him with an aluminium bat?

Steve??? Is that you? How did you find me on here and haven't I apologized for the bat incident enough times???

J/K

 

[Natrushka]

<snort>

Mendacity, as I've heard it explained under prolonged / extreme stress INTJs can develop some bad habits - excessive consumption of alcohol, excessive intake of food - becoming extremely, and negatively, Sensing. And focussed on details to the point of obsession.

Inferior functions under stress.

 

[runvardh]

Steve??? Is that you? How did you find me on here and haven't I apologized for the bat incident enough times???

J/K

LOL, I actually did this to my younger brother after 8 years of his button pushing. It was like I just snapped and went from chaos outside to uber controlled outside. I followed him from my room to the bathroom (which he locked and I very "calmly" and in a "controlled fassion" unlocked it and pusehd my way in). Once in the bathroom with him he tripped into the bathtub and I stood over him and prepared a swing, but stopped in the ready pose laughing like some psycotic cartoon. He was 10, I was 12, the only differences if the parents were around is mom would only have been able to call the cops while my step-dad would probably try to intervine (not sure how stupid of a move that would have been...). I tend to remember every detail though when I go into rage; I don't like the memories...

 

[Mendacity]

<snort>
Mendacity, as I've heard it explained under prolonged / extreme stress INTJs can develop some bad habits - excessive consumption of alcohol, excessive intake of food - becoming extremely, and negatively, Sensing. And focussed on details to the point of obsession.
Inferior functions under stress.

You know, it's interesting you say that. As I've mentioned I know two other INTJs, my little brother and a friend I've known since high school. My brother, when enraged, becomes incredibly passive aggressive. My other INTJ friend and I were both much more troubled as teenagers and tended to over-indulge in things and also tended to go into these violent black-outs when pushed too far. I have another friend who I *think* is INTJ and also slightly sociopathic (literally). He doesn't lose his temper but becomes more like Runvardh described. He's actually done some time as a result of that, too.
I think the way people act when they're extremely angry is very telling about their personalities.
Not that I'm trying to say Runvardh is sociopathic. Or crazy in any other way.

 

[runvardh]

So I guess that makes me scary then? :sad:

 

[Natrushka]

Not that I'm trying to say Runvardh is sociopathic. Or crazy in any other way.

Nevah.

So I guess that makes me scary then?

I thought it made you argumentative and impulsive? Impulsively argumentantive?