Right. How can you be guilty of being cold/unfeeling/unemotional if you aren't even aware? What makes me more frustrated than anything are the people (F's much of the time) that want to know what we really feel. When we reply "I don't know" it actually means we don't know. It's not a emotionless cop out.
You don't need to be a NT to relate. Any T has had some experience like this.
If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
While I will try with all my might to come up with new ideas and information to up the ante in intellectual discussion, so to speak... I honestly am never an asshole in that regard. With intellectual discussion, I am cool, clear, and non-confrontational; the only emotions lurking beneath the surface being excitement over the topic.
The only reactive trigger for my assholishness is when people treat others poorly. Of course, I tend to notice intellectual (or "stupid") mistakes made by other people more often, which I think makes sense because those things I can easily pick up on. I will vouch for the lack of emotional intelligence in NTs, simply because when I am emotionally reactive, I can spurt out things like "Oh god you douchebag!"
For example, the other day a coworker (who sometimes is playfully mean) used a broom and swept a bunch of liquid onto my pants, and I gave that exact reaction and exclamation over the immediate situation. Only afterwords did I realize that he said it was an accident, and that he appeared very sorry about the whole thing (rare for him, so I truly knew it was an accident). Of course, with my lack of EQ, I couldn't even begin to figure out how to make the situation more comfortable, and try to balance out the appearance that I am not pissed off, because after the event happened, I cooled off pretty quickly.. still, something was missing in my appearance that would make me seem forgiving. Awkward silence ensued.
"Stop it, you fuck. Give him some butter."
Ti = Ne > Ni > Fi > Te > Se > Fe > Si INTP (I/PNT) 5w4