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[NT] Alright NT's: emotions?

plaguerat

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So I have these questions and yes they'll most likely be numbered. I am an INTJ (I'm guessing I should at least have SOME clue as to the answers. Surprise surprise, I don't.) who is completely clueless as to some things involving NT emotions (and emotions overall) and would appreciate any answers you guys could produce.

So here we go.

1. What would make an NTJ who is so completely sure of something (and is decidedly pleased by it as well) completely stop one day and decide to "give up" or "stop" this shenanigan because it "just wasn't right"? (There's going to have to be some backround for this one, isn't there?)

2. These all involve emotional expression of some sort by the way. Except this one, as it isn't a question.

3. This one goes out to all NT's: Do you suddenly and inexplicably get so attatched to something that despite your best efforts to try and "logic yourself out of this shit" you're still WAY excited or attatched?

4. Have you ever "lost" your emotions? (No snarky comments about not having them in the first place because goddamnit I feel for things, just not everything.)

5. When you've lost someone very close to you (they didn't die, and this is one of those rare people you call good friends and trust with many, many things) and basically the situation calls for either droping all emotinoal connections and/or "starting over", do you still feel hopeful for what was lost? In one of the only things you can say you care about, is it relatively easy to give up?


While I understand the sudden "drop" of interest in certain things previously enjoyed, I do not understand a complete 180 on one of the things someone (specifically an NT, as I've heard we tend to cling to things we've deemed "worthy") holds extremely dear. Any comments or thoughts are appreciated.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
You'll understand better if you reorganize your questions. It goes.

3)

5)

1)

4)


Also Wtf was #2?
 

Oom

Your time is gonna come.
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I don't really understand your post. I might need others to respond to you first in order to grasp what you were asking. Sorry. I'll come back later.
 

INTPness

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I'll take a crack at it (even though I'm an NTP, but my father and grandfather were NTJ's and I related to them very well). I'll just simply answer your questions in the order they were presented:


1. What would make an NTJ who is so completely sure of something (and is decidedly pleased by it as well) completely stop one day and decide to "give up" or "stop" this shenanigan because it "just wasn't right"? (There's going to have to be some backround for this one, isn't there?)

Me (and my father), because of our mathematical abilities and because of some early success, thought that we could surely make money betting on horse races. The systematic process and systematic record keeping was pleasing to us both. We enjoyed it very much. Very mentally stimulating. We stopped this shenanigan eventually, because we realized that it "just wasn't right" (for us anyways). It was taking valuable time away from "the normal life". As NT's we probably could have continued spending countless hours analyzing the races (or even dedicated our lives to it as some people have), but it was sucking us in and it began to have a lopsided place in our lives. We realized we had given it WAY too much priority and that we only live once.

Another scenario: I really hate talking on the telephone. So, when I call a friend or family member to touch base with civilization and make sure I'm still sane (or when someone calls me), I'm usually thinking, "We'll talk for no more than 15-20 minutes." After the conversation goes on and on and on and I'm finding it difficult to end the conversation, I will sometimes say, "OK, well...thanks for the chat. I'm glad you're doing well and glad we got to talk. Let's do it again sometime." Many different people have told me that I end phone conversations very suddenly and abruptly. I have reasoned with them that I didn't have a 1-hour conversation in mind and I'm not much of a phone person, so I had to say goodbye somehow (or else we'd still be talking the next morning). Well, they (usually "feelers") don't see my logic - I've even been told that because I spend so much time alone that I don't know how to/haven't learned to properly "transition" a conversation. So, even though my logic makes PERFECT sense to me, I've learned that maybe I'm just not right after all. If multiple people are telling me the same thing (people I care about, no less), then there's probably something to it), and for the sake of having good relationships and not being "all about me" in everything I do, I've decided to really make an effort (as excruciating as it is), to really let the person go ahead and finish their story/thought - and wait for a "good transition point" to get off the phone.

2. These all involve emotional expression of some sort by the way. Except this one, as it isn't a question.

I can handle that - I think. :shock:

3. This one goes out to all NT's: Do you suddenly and inexplicably get so attatched to something that despite your best efforts to try and "logic yourself out of this shit" you're still WAY excited or attatched?

Absolutely. I'm usually into 1 thing (or a few things) really heavily at any given time. The horse racing is a great example. Logically, we needed to give it up. We knew it. But, it was just so darn fun and so rewarding when your hard work payed off and we were still WAY too excited and attached. Took a long time to really say "Let's just let it go once and for all." MBTI is another example for me. When I learned about it, it was quite eye opening. I ate it up for a long time. I learned everything I could about it. I was intrigued. And when I was spending way too much time reading about it (losing valuable sleep, not getting proper time out of the house with friends/family), I kept doing it because of the attachment. I've done this with MANY things in life. But, I know that I also have power over these things. These things (interesting and intriguing as they are) do not own me or my time.

4. Have you ever "lost" your emotions? (No snarky comments about not having them in the first place because goddamnit I feel for things, just not everything.)

Not sure what you mean here. Only thing that comes to mind is when I'm arguing or debating with an xSFx.

5. When you've lost someone very close to you (they didn't die, and this is one of those rare people you call good friends and trust with many, many things) and basically the situation calls for either droping all emotinoal connections and/or "starting over", do you still feel hopeful for what was lost? In one of the only things you can say you care about, is it relatively easy to give up?

I find it difficult to give up (whether it's a person or activity), and even though it is very tough to do, yes, I still feel hopeful. For me, that comes from my faith. I have more to live for than waiting for that "once in a lifetime relationship" or some "super duper cool hobby or job that I will dedicate my life to and be the best at". If those things come along, then great. They will "add" to my life experience, but I won't be all about that one thing because I can't take it with me when my time is up. I will strive for excellence in relationships and jobs, but they aren't the end-all-be-all.


While I understand the sudden "drop" of interest in certain things previously enjoyed, I do not understand a complete 180 on one of the things someone (specifically an NT, as I've heard we tend to cling to things we've deemed "worthy") holds extremely dear. Any comments or thoughts are appreciated.

I TOTALLY and COMPLETELY understand this. It's hard with the NT mindset sometimes to not be able to understand a complete 180 on something that brings enjoyment (or even some sort of success). But, as NT's we are also inclined to see the "big picture" of life. So, looking at the big picture (not just that one person or activity in question), we can reason that sometimes it just makes sense to do a complete 180 and turn away from something that isn't contributing to where we are trying to go in life. I think it's very important to have direction. Where are you going? Where am I going? Once I decide that and have that definite direction in my life, then I can better gauge if an activity or person is pulling me away from my ultimate destination or if they are helping me to get there. If a person or activity isn't propelling you forward, then doing a 180 and turning away should at least be taken into consideration.
 

BlahBlahNounBlah

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3. This one goes out to all NT's: Do you suddenly and inexplicably get so attatched to something that despite your best efforts to try and "logic yourself out of this shit" you're still WAY excited or attatched?



Yes, except I'd never try to logic myself out of feeling that way. I'll try not to act on it if it would be a truly bad idea to do that, but I let my enthusiasm lead me around to various places. I'm happy to follow it. :happy:
 

The Decline

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^ This. My emotions are along for the ride in my rational roller coaster that makes no stops for nauseous children.
 

mortabunt

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So I have these questions and yes they'll most likely be numbered. I am an INTJ (I'm guessing I should at least have SOME clue as to the answers. Surprise surprise, I don't.) who is completely clueless as to some things involving NT emotions (and emotions overall) and would appreciate any answers you guys could produce.

So here we go.

1. A scam or somethign that you have moral qualms about. (Ne.)

2. These all involve emotional expression of some sort by the way. Except this one, as it isn't a question. (why is it posted then?)

3. Yes, I think it has to do with our low key feeling decisions in our subconscious trying to increase our emotionality.

4. I have, and I did't really feel them again until I read a point that was so poorly argued that it pissed me off.

5. I haven't had this happen to me yet.
 

Kra

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1. What would make an NTJ who is so completely sure of something (and is decidedly pleased by it as well) completely stop one day and decide to "give up" or "stop" this shenanigan because it "just wasn't right"? (There's going to have to be some backround for this one, isn't there?)

2. These all involve emotional expression of some sort by the way. Except this one, as it isn't a question.

3. This one goes out to all NT's: Do you suddenly and inexplicably get so attatched to something that despite your best efforts to try and "logic yourself out of this shit" you're still WAY excited or attatched?

4. Have you ever "lost" your emotions? (No snarky comments about not having them in the first place because goddamnit I feel for things, just not everything.)

5. When you've lost someone very close to you (they didn't die, and this is one of those rare people you call good friends and trust with many, many things) and basically the situation calls for either droping all emotinoal connections and/or "starting over", do you still feel hopeful for what was lost? In one of the only things you can say you care about, is it relatively easy to give up?

Well, here's my take.

1. This is a tough one. Usually, it's when my Ni hits me with a eureka moment that indicates that I'm not giving myself the amount of respect I deserve. There are a lot of examples that I could use, but relationships are probably the most applicable here. If I ever feel that "chasing" someone is affecting my self-respect negatively, I cut that shit out right then and there.

2...

3. Most definitely. There are very few things that do this to me, so I suspect that the floodgates are drawn everytime something actually does. Once again, relationships seem to be the best example. If I genuinely like a woman, it's easy to fall into attachment/infatuation if I don't watch myself. The only way I can keep it at bay is by knowing that things almost always end up better if I do... and I really want that shit to work out. :)

4. No, though life would be easier if I could at times.

5. If "starting over" with the person is possible, I will exert as much effort as is necessary to repair the relationship (Unless I was betrayed. Betrayal is usually met with exile from my life).

If it is not possible, I am usually accepting that there is nothing that I can do that would make any difference, and go from that point.

Note: I grew up with a lot of NFs and SFs, so I've had no choice but to develop Fe more than the internet leads me to believe that most INTJs have. Then again... that's the internet for you.
 

iamathousandapples

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3. I don't really get attached to anything. At least I haven't to the point where it's interfered.

4. They come out when they want to. Other than then, they stay out of view.

5. There's not much hope to be found in things like that. I'll try and start over, but usually I just try and move on.
 

Shimmy

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So I have these questions and yes they'll most likely be numbered. I am an INTJ (I'm guessing I should at least have SOME clue as to the answers. Surprise surprise, I don't.) who is completely clueless as to some things involving NT emotions (and emotions overall) and would appreciate any answers you guys could produce.

So here we go.

1. What would make an NTJ who is so completely sure of something (and is decidedly pleased by it as well) completely stop one day and decide to "give up" or "stop" this shenanigan because it "just wasn't right"? (There's going to have to be some backround for this one, isn't there?)

Whenever I do this I have usually thought about it for a long time before I actually stop. You probably didn't notice I was thinking about it though.

2. These all involve emotional expression of some sort by the way. Except this one, as it isn't a question.

???

3. This one goes out to all NT's: Do you suddenly and inexplicably get so attatched to something that despite your best efforts to try and "logic yourself out of this shit" you're still WAY excited or attatched?

I've stopped smoking, which is physically addictive and therefore I was attached to it. But somehow I don't think that's what this question is about.

4. Have you ever "lost" your emotions? (No snarky comments about not having them in the first place because goddamnit I feel for things, just not everything.)

What does "losing emotions" mean? Does it mean not feeling feeling any emotions about a subject? If so, then yes I usually don't get emotionally involved with things.

5. When you've lost someone very close to you (they didn't die, and this is one of those rare people you call good friends and trust with many, many things) and basically the situation calls for either droping all emotinoal connections and/or "starting over", do you still feel hopeful for what was lost? In one of the only things you can say you care about, is it relatively easy to give up?

Jup, I'm very forgiving and still talk to him, however, I definitely still don't trust the guy and he doesn't have to count on my help too much ever again.

While I understand the sudden "drop" of interest in certain things previously enjoyed, I do not understand a complete 180 on one of the things someone (specifically an NT, as I've heard we tend to cling to things we've deemed "worthy") holds extremely dear. Any comments or thoughts are appreciated.

Sometimes you just get an epiphany about something. Even us NT's don't always have all the answers ready right from the start.
 

mortabunt

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Joke: all the INTP's remarked to number two with a question, while the INTJ's jsut skipped it. :laughs:.
 

Provoker

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1. What would make an NTJ who is so completely sure of something (and is decidedly pleased by it as well) completely stop one day and decide to "give up" or "stop" this shenanigan because it "just wasn't right"? (There's going to have to be some backround for this one, isn't there?)

There are several conceivable possibilities whereby this may occur. First, an NT might wake up one day and have an epiphany. As such, the NT's worldview is refreshed and the NT may see things from a new and higher level of abstraction. With this new perspective, the NT may reason that what he or she was doing was silly, useless, misplaced energy, or a poor allocation of time and resources. Accordingly, they decide to stop the activity. Second, the sudden urge to stop something could be grounded in a particular emotion. Or, an emotion could lead to a particular type of rationalization to support the emotion. In the former case, the person may one day become disgusted by the activity or realize they hate it and that they were ignoring their true feelings for a long time. In the latter case, perhaps the activity was looked down upon by a certain person or social group injuring the NT's pride causing them to dislike it or begin to rationalize why it should be stopped. This became clear to me when a friend at school constantly invented reasons to reinforce his emotions. For years this person was talking about med school and the MCAT and so forth. Like me, he was at the library until 3am some nights (most nights) working hard. Then, when the time came to apply he applied to a Master's in Physio, and I asked about med school and the MCAT and he went into a long siloquy about how uninterested he was in being a doctor, that he found having to touch patients disgusting, and so forth. Moreover, I found the very vivid and emotionally-charged words he was using particularly interesting, as he'd completely turned 180 and reconstructed reality so that this job was dirty, filthy, over-rated, and uninteresting. The reality deep down is that he wasn't going to get accepted and so he invented a pretext for why it's something he wasn't interested in. But rather than saying something for what it is, the truth is shrouded in all this pretense to make him feel better about himself. Well, I looked at him with irony both because he didn't follow through with the execution of his plan nor even try it out of fear of failure. Instead, he opted for something smaller, easier to manage, and more conquerable, like a person who upon losing a game of table tennis searches for a timid and weak opponent they can beat only to reaffirm a superficial sense of strength. Anyhow, emotions (fear) prevented this person from executing his plan and exporing the parameters of his true potential. And vanity required that he invent a pretext and paint doctors as bogeymen. The reality, however, is that he's just a drop in the ocean--people do this all the time.


2. These all involve emotional expression of some sort by the way. Except this one, as it isn't a question.

?

3. This one goes out to all NT's: Do you suddenly and inexplicably get so attatched to something that despite your best efforts to try and "logic yourself out of this shit" you're still WAY excited or attatched?

Sure. I agree with Thomas Hobbes when he says that reason is a slave to passion. A simple way to prove his thesis is to imagine a person being starved of food and drink. Eventually, appetite (the desire for food and drink) will motivate a person to get food and water. Likewise, reason is used instrumentally to satisfy our desires. For example, one may want a Porsche...reason can be used as a calculus to attain this. As a result, more often than not people don't "logic themselves out of their desires, but support their desires by logic." Logic itself is very loose. Take conditional logic for example (if p, then q). 'If I want to be a lawyer, then I will have to go to law school. If I want to go to law school, I will need a high GPA and LSAT score. If I want a high GPA and LSAT score, then....' The point is that logic can help one get from A to B but usually cannot answer is B desirable? It is if B is necessary to get to C, but is C desirable? To make it clear, medicine is instrumental inasfar as it can allow one to live longer, but is living longer better? That's a philosophical question and highly contingent on what a person desires and how they define the good life. (For example, some rock stars of the booming
50s may have been of the opinion that it's better to live fast and die young. Thus, is it every fully possible to remain independent of desire? Probably not. Take a stock trader for example. The stock trader might reason that emotions stifle judgment when it comes to decisions on when to trade stock. In this sense, the disciplined broker may suppress his emotions in favor of dispassionate contemplation, but the desire for wealth and affluence is itself a sublimation of emotion. Indeed, a perfect rational would starve to death while questioning the what ifs, it is through appetite and desire that the intellect is informed to go searching for food. Yet, people can be more or less rational. For instance, in The Brothers Karamozov, Dimitry (the sensual) is driven by appetite and passion, and is often broke from spending all of his money. This is an example of someone who is driven very much by short-term excitation and stimulation and in effect does things that harm him in the long-run. Similarly, one could imagine a chipmunk that licks up a puddle of heroine and dies shortly after. It is a short-run increase in sensation, but is antithetical to long-run happiness. Conversely, one can overcome cravings, resent, hostility, envy, most desires, and takes a highly dispassionate approach to life. In short, the answer to your question will depend on how the the activity relates to short-term versus long-term goals.

4. Have you ever "lost" your emotions? (No snarky comments about not having them in the first place because goddamnit I feel for things, just not everything.)

Not lost, but possibly buried or set alseep. I regard most of my emotions as sleeping pitbulls and better alseep then awake both for myself and others. That said, there are F-types who I come across now and then who will try to awaken the pitbull. Still, because I don't address emotions directly they will come out in my tone of voice at times. So for instance, it is not uncommon for one to call me aggressive. Or the other day I was in the library and this girl asked me something and thought I was attacking her. It made me smile, but I do come off as forceful sometimes. Now, certain emotions I understand very well, such as greed and disgust. But jealousy and envy are non-existent for me. I am not jealous or envious of anyone, and wouldn't like to be anyone except myself. However, some emotions have been sleeping for so long that if they make their way out they are very out of tune with environment and what is generally socially accepted. Furthermore, when my best friend died I was the only one (of my friends and family who gave speechs) who didn't cry during my speech. Not only this, but I delivered my speech exactly how I'd rehersed it in my mind--even right down to emphasizing certain words with certain added emotional/tonal emphasis. Yes, I delivered the speech mechanically though with elegance and precise diction like a politician or lobbyist. No, I didn't lose my emotions but I used self-discipline to put them on hold.


5. When you've lost someone very close to you (they didn't die, and this is one of those rare people you call good friends and trust with many, many things) and basically the situation calls for either droping all emotinoal connections and/or "starting over", do you still feel hopeful for what was lost? In one of the only things you can say you care about, is it relatively easy to give up?

I don't know what I feel. Hence, why I do not trust emotions. Let someone who is more in touch with their emotions answer this one.
 
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