User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 34

  1. #11
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,422

    Default

    As an INTP, I'm a mystery to my family.

    I choose the people I open up too. And my family members aren't them. Still, I don't hate them or have negative feelings towards them. The "Because I'm family" factor holds little weight to me.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  2. #12
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    EsTP
    Enneagram
    6w7
    Posts
    1,996

    Default

    People often don't understand my need to argue and debate every single issue except other NT's- and even there it's only the Extraverted Rationals who like the quick, fun-spirited debate while the Introverted ones often make it too serious...
    I do it for fun and it's the way I learn best.
    MBTI Type: iNTj
    Enneagram Type: 3w4 sp/sx

  3. #13
    Senior Member plaguerat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    195

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mondo View Post
    People often don't understand my need to argue and debate every single issue except other NT's- and even there it's only the Extraverted Rationals who like the quick, fun-spirited debate while the Introverted ones often make it too serious...
    I do it for fun and it's the way I learn best.

    I catch myself arguing just for the sake of arguing and quite honestly it amuses me even more. It bothers everyone else, haha.


    Now, on to the point of the thread:
    Do I see it as "demonized"? sure. Do I care? no. They don't like me and that's fine, I probably don't like them. If they don't want to listen to what I have to say when I know I'm right then it'll be their fault eventually when their world or project starts to crumble and I'm not willing to repeat myself or save their asses. I've got my few friends and I like them very much. I've got my hobbies and books and whatnot and to hell with anyone who would like to try and tell me how wrong, selfish, idiotic, and narssicistic I am.
    VI VERI VENIVERSUM VIVUS VIVCI
    "By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe."

  4. #14
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    EsTP
    Enneagram
    6w7
    Posts
    1,996

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by plaguerat View Post
    I catch myself arguing just for the sake of arguing and quite honestly it amuses me even more. It bothers everyone else, haha.


    Now, on to the point of the thread:
    Do I see it as "demonized"? sure. Do I care? no. They don't like me and that's fine, I probably don't like them. If they don't want to listen to what I have to say when I know I'm right then it'll be their fault eventually when their world or project starts to crumble and I'm not willing to repeat myself or save their asses. I've got my few friends and I like them very much. I've got my hobbies and books and whatnot and to hell with anyone who would like to try and tell me how wrong, selfish, idiotic, and narssicistic I am.
    That's a good attitude to take. One of my closest friends, an INTJ, has a similar philosophy when dealing with others. He will often be argumentative and critical of others.
    If a person shows any sign of emotional weakness, he'll be an asshole to that person and try to figure out the best ways to provoke that person..
    That's fine with me. If anything, I simply appreciate his honesty.
    I don't take offense when he teases me and vice versa.
    We both often say ridiculously nasty things to one another- and our non-Rational friends can barely understand it..
    MBTI Type: iNTj
    Enneagram Type: 3w4 sp/sx

  5. #15
    Senior Member plaguerat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    195

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mondo View Post
    That's a good attitude to take. One of my closest friends, an INTJ, has a similar philosophy when dealing with others. He will often be argumentative and critical of others.
    If a person shows any sign of emotional weakness, he'll be an asshole to that person and try to figure out the best ways to provoke that person..
    That's fine with me. If anything, I simply appreciate his honesty.
    I don't take offense when he teases me and vice versa.
    We both often say ridiculously nasty things to one another- and our non-Rational friends can barely understand it..
    Yeah, I only know one other NT irl, and we're either assholes or disturbingly chummy together. My best friend (an INFP) and I are such huge jerks to each other most people are afraid we'll just start physically beating each other. It really is amusing.
    VI VERI VENIVERSUM VIVUS VIVCI
    "By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe."

  6. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    837

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    NT's, do you ever feel like your entire personality is being demonized because you simply can't attach to someone or something, however much they want you to or however much they think you should?

    Do you ever feel like your best qualities get twisted and painted into something to condemn you, by people who just don't get the way you work at all?

    If so, how do you deal with it? If not, how do you achieve that?
    I've never felt demonized or rejected because of the way I am. I can't even imagine thinking that way. That would be terrible. I've always thought differences of all kinds are celebrated within myself and within other people. I know your attitude can have an effect on how people react to you, and it also has an effect on how you judge those reactions, but I wonder how much of it is that and how much of it is the people we've just happened to be around.

    I will say that I am lucky in that second department. I have a small and accepting family. My dad is very much like me, and we're great friends. My mom isn't like me at all, but she's always been extremely accepting and loving anyway, so we get along great. If I go a couple of months without calling her simply because I don't think about it, she's more likely to hurt and take the pain like a champion than to complain about it or think badly of me. I have only one sibling, a brother, and he obviously doesn't concern himself with pointless things like my personality or behavior. He's always had problems himself and has never once criticized the person that I am. I think they all celebrate my strengths and positive attributes. That's all they care about.

    Beyond that, I have two step parents who never tried to boss me around, but were always willing to help me out as if they were my real parents. I don't relate to my step-mom that much, but we get along great. My step-dad is pretty cool and has a lot of the same interests as me. I'm always welcome to his music, movie, and book collections. Neither of my step-parents actually raised me so they really don't have any expectations of me or reasons to judge me. My mom's family is great. I don't see my dad's family that much, but everybody across the board is congenial towards me.

    I don't see my dad's parents that much. I don't honestly know what my grandma thinks about this - but I tend to assume she just thinks that's who I am. I doubt she thinks "Oh, that asshole grandson of mine, too good to see his family!"

    What's an example of someone demonizing you?

    If they actually say that stuff out loud to you, then those people are probably just really judgmental. Sorry you've been stuck with them. I seriously doubt you are just more condemnable than me. I don't do anything to make people like me. I'm just not mean.
    "When a resolute young fellow steps up the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find that it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  7. #17
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    4,601

    Default

    Sid, all I can say is you're one lucky guy! If I didn't think envy was pointless then I'd envy your luck, but at least it's a testament to the difference a loving and accepting family can make. My family are all very strong F's and the only other strong N besides me is an ENFJ, so still not much understanding there and the obligatory guilt trips.

    Outside of my family I'm a very positive person. I don't complain about being demonized because I don't really get it anywhere else. For many years I stayed out of touch with my family and my self esteem and confidence, and my social life, all took off like nothing else.

    A year of frequent renewed contact with them through Facebook however, and their constant undermining of my character in little portions each day has taken its toll, it seems...

    edit - oh yeah, they say it out loud. ALL the time. And cos it's all of them against me, naturally, that means they're in the right. Nothing to do with them just all thinking alike...
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  8. #18
    videodrones; questions Verfremdungseffekt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    INTp
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Socionics
    Eh?
    Posts
    867

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    But it seems so often that all they're looking for when I explain things, is something to confirm and justify their suspicions, believing the worst of me.
    Yeah, I think we talked about this a bit in another thread. Oy. This was an NF thing, right? I can't remember if you had a couple of INFJs going on, or if there was an ENFP in there.

    I've had these problems all my life. I grew up in a house with a manipulative ENFP and a frantic INFP, both horribly undeveloped. All screaming, all day long. The only way to survive was to know whose side to pick, when. Then I kept getting involved with problem NFs, most recently a self-entitled INFJ who could never be questioned, and who kept reading in her own motivations into everything I did.

    It's tough. One gets into this placatory mindset. All one's energy is spent trying to avoid setting people off, so one has no room for one's self.

  9. #19
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    4,601

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aderack View Post

    It's tough. One gets into this placatory mindset. All one's energy is spent trying to avoid setting people off, so one has no room for one's self.
    Totally. I've got this line-up: ESFP, ESFJ (x2), ENFP, ISFJ, ENFJ, that's my immediate family, and the ENFP has quite a low N preference. There's my ISTP step-dad, but he's had 20 years of henpecking so he knows better than to try anything but to focus on the TV and speak when spoken to, quite sad really... years ago when he first came on the scene he was full of energy and character, now it's like he's just the gofer

    There's also the homeschooling group I have to work with so my kids still get to play with other kids. A lot of the people there are very prickly and anal about their "values", yet they all conflict and stuff, so it's like being on egg shells there, in trying to keep everyone happy I end up not really bonding with anyone cos I can't be the real me. Whatever that is any more!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  10. #20
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    922

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aderack View Post
    who could never be questioned, and who kept reading in her own motivations into everything I did.
    So infuriating and common among people who have a weak sense of empathy. They cannot empathize so by definition cannot see your point of view or that of anyone else. So they believe that everyone has the same motivations and intentions that they do. Very frustrating, I avoid them as much as I can.

Similar Threads

  1. Don't hate me based on this subject title
    By MoneyJungle in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 03-06-2017, 06:05 PM
  2. don't mind me
    By colma in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 11-18-2009, 04:04 PM
  3. Replies: 17
    Last Post: 09-07-2009, 02:42 AM
  4. I'm an Intuitionist. Don't ask me how I know, I just do.
    By Into It in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 09-01-2008, 09:40 PM
  5. Emoticons (please don't hate me)
    By Tigerlily in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 04-15-2008, 04:50 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO