[ENTJ] Ask An ENTJ

[Kangirl]

EJCC, it wasn't me who made a comment about ESTJs being more likely to need to be the leader... I'm not sure I know many/any ESTJs so I don't feel too comfortable describing them.

What kinds of things really bother you and make you feel vulnerable? I know thinkers have feelings of course, but I don't really understand how things are felt by them and what kinds of things would induce hurt.

Hmmmm. Well, allowing myself to BE vulnerable makes me FEEL vulnerable if that isn't too obvious. I rarely place myself in situations where I am emotionally vulnerable, especially with people I don't feel I know or trust enough. With people I know well and trust, I think I am pretty vulnerable. People on the outside might not see it, but I am - I just won't usually show it on the outside if I'm upset or if something has hurt me. I will, however, go home and brood about it. It's feeling, not thought (generally) that makes me feel vulnerable. I feel safer and more comfortable in a debate about something impersonal than I do chatting about how I feel. I might be the wrong ENTJ to be asking, though, because I have never been on of those people who has trouble feeling, or recognizing feelings within myself. Maybe something to do with being a female ENTJ?

Do you ever apologize? Under what circumstances?

Yes. Not often. I should do it more, but it's hard, and the bigger the wrong on my part, usually the harder it is for me to confront it and say sorry, mostly out of being ashamed of myself and what I've done. Mostly what makes me feel bad is hurting someone. Again, this isn't across the board. Some people I couldn't care less about hurting (i.e. people I dislike) but if I care about/respect someone, and I hurt them, yeah, that sucks.

Is there anyone that you would show vulnerability to? Would they see most of it, or only a little bit? How would that be manifested?

Very, very few. My 1-3 closest friends in the world, my boyfriend and my sister. My sister is the one I feel most comfortable with. She has her faults, as do I, but she (INFP) is remarkably non-judgemental with me and I don't know if she knows how much I appreciate that.

What's something that you really need or appreciate from the people close to you?

To be heard. To have what I think and feel valued. If there is one thing on this earth likely to trigger all sorts of deeply embedded baggage in me, it's the feeling that someone I care about isn't listening to me and/or isn't paying proper attention when something's up.

When I read the ENTJ description it seems like "wow, I should be a total badass like Napoleon all the time".

I really identify with this comment from Dark Razor. And you know, I can even see WHY sometimes people would see me as a stereotypical ENTJ bulldozer/dictator. I know what behaviours of mine can lead others to think this. I consider myself, tho, actually surprisingly mushy. I cry easily, I feel compassion easily, I throw myself into emotional projects (i.e. personal relationships) with at times ill-advised abandon. My directness of manner does not reflect what it is often interpreted to reflect - some kind of essential coldness or stoniness. Not at all. In fact I wish I *was* 'stonier' inside.

 

[Valuable_Money]

Once you take over the world, can I have New Zealand?

 

[oort cloud]

I've been reading this forum for a while, and I've noticed a few mentions of ENTJs helping "outcast"- or "weakling"-types of people to accomplish something.

This reminds me of an ENTJ I know who once told me that he often feels urges to help the "underdog", which surprise even himself. So, question:

- Why do ENTJs help the underdogs - when there's nothing in it for them, or maybe there are even potential negative consequences?

Or is that atypical?

 

[entropie]

Dear ENTJ,

am I ExTJ too ?

Greetz

 

[INTJ123]

1) Both ENTJs and ESTJs tend to like being in charge and people sometimes mistake them. What are the main things that distinguish the two types from each other?

IMO ESTJ is more bent on perfection.

2) What earns your respect the most?

Freedom of thought, free will.

3) How do you feel/what do you do when people are emotional around you?

I don't know what to feel, I feel weird cuz I just don't always feel emotional in those types of situations. To be really honest I sometimes fake the appropriate response, just to try and make them feel better, and make myself feel less awkward.

4) Would you say you are confident through and through or is it more just the impression that the people around you have? Do you have much inner self-doubt or insecurity?

Everyone has a bit of insecurity. And in times of absolute certainty an image of confidence may be percieved by others.


5) If someone was going to give you a compliment or someone was going to recognize you for something, what would you feel greatest about being complimented on and what form would that recognition take?

I really don't know. being nice? a thank you?

6) What would you most want people to know about who you are or what is important to you?

I can't speak for all NTJ's or INTJ's, but deep down inside I'm a humanitarian, I often think about how I can better the lives of the people in this world for the long run, but I don't help out in the little things which probably make me look bad.

 

[EJCC]

On a very cool thread called "The Iceman and the Child" that was active a while ago, this idea came up: that there's a time with ENTJs (kind of like with ESTJs) when they stop feeling like they need to impress/entertain a certain person all the time, and they become more comfortable just being around them, without the pressure of making them laugh or anything like that.
Firstly, is that true?
Secondly, if it is, how do you get to that point? Does it just come with time? Is there anything that can be done to encourage it?
I ask because I know a very cool ENTJ that I'd like to get to know better, but I dunno if he's gotten to that point yet.

 

[Galusha]

1) Both ENTJs and ESTJs tend to like being in charge and people sometimes mistake them. What are the main things that distinguish the two types from each other?

ENTJs can sometimes understand that they're not the best person for the job. We have the same compulsion to be in charge, but realize that it's not always necessary.

2) What earns your respect the most?

Self-sufficiency with ambition.

3) How do you feel/what do you do when people are emotional around you?

It depends on the person. If it's someone I've just met, I generally think that they're just annoying as hell. If it's a close friend or family member, my main concern is trying to fix the problem, and failing that, trying to make them feel better. This is only the case with negative emotions, of course-- if someone's very happy, then I enjoy seeing it.

4) Would you say you are confident through and through or is it more just the impression that the people around you have? Do you have much inner self-doubt or insecurity?

I'm incredibly insecure, but with boosts of confidence. The trouble is, I come off as egotistical because the confidence goes on display, but the regular doubt does not unless I think the sky is falling. The only people who see the insecurity are my roommates, my best friend, and my mother.

5) If someone was going to give you a compliment or someone was going to recognize you for something, what would you feel greatest about being complimented on and what form would that recognition take?

I would feel the best being complimented on my future career, and the recognition would be a fantastically high-paying salary and lots of responsibility off the bat.

6) What would you most want people to know about who you are or what is important to you?

That you've got to earn the privelege of knowing what's going on in my head.

On a very cool thread called "The Iceman and the Child" that was active a while ago, this idea came up: that there's a time with ENTJs (kind of like with ESTJs) when they stop feeling like they need to impress/entertain a certain person all the time, and they become more comfortable just being around them, without the pressure of making them laugh or anything like that.

Firstly, is that true?
We occasionally lapse into insecurity and feel the need to fall back into the original pattern to remind those people why they started hanging out with us in the first place, but yes, we choose to display different parts of our personality later on as a sign of comfort and trust.

Secondly, if it is, how do you get to that point? Does it just come with time? Is there anything that can be done to encourage it?
If you're an awesome person and we get along right away, it could be the same night. The only way to encourage it is to be intelligent, have conversations that make us think, and never interfere with our work

 

[Virtual ghost]

What kind of dinamic do you have with INTJs ? (in the case you know any)

 

[Valuable_Money]

If an ENTJ and an INTJ were put in charge of two armies of equal number and skill and put on two oposite sides of a perfectly symetrical landscape who would win?

 

[Virtual ghost]

If an ENTJ and an INTJ were put in charge of two armies of equal number and skill and put on two oposite sides of a perfectly symetrical landscape who would win?

This question is nonsense since this is something quite individual.
(unless you are planning a joke of some sort)

 

[Galusha]

If an ENTJ and an INTJ were put in charge of two armies of equal number and skill and put on two oposite sides of a perfectly symetrical landscape who would win?

The ENTJ, because we could actually convince our army to start marching without killing a few soldiers in the process.