EJCC, it wasn't me who made a comment about ESTJs being more likely to need to be the leader... I'm not sure I know many/any ESTJs so I don't feel too comfortable describing them.
Hmmmm. Well, allowing myself to BE vulnerable makes me FEEL vulnerable if that isn't too obvious. I rarely place myself in situations where I am emotionally vulnerable, especially with people I don't feel I know or trust enough. With people I know well and trust, I think I am pretty vulnerable. People on the outside might not see it, but I am - I just won't usually show it on the outside if I'm upset or if something has hurt me. I will, however, go home and brood about it. It's feeling, not thought (generally) that makes me feel vulnerable. I feel safer and more comfortable in a debate about something impersonal than I do chatting about how I feel. I might be the wrong ENTJ to be asking, though, because I have never been on of those people who has trouble feeling, or recognizing feelings within myself. Maybe something to do with being a female ENTJ?What kinds of things really bother you and make you feel vulnerable? I know thinkers have feelings of course, but I don't really understand how things are felt by them and what kinds of things would induce hurt.
Yes. Not often. I should do it more, but it's hard, and the bigger the wrong on my part, usually the harder it is for me to confront it and say sorry, mostly out of being ashamed of myself and what I've done. Mostly what makes me feel bad is hurting someone. Again, this isn't across the board. Some people I couldn't care less about hurting (i.e. people I dislike) but if I care about/respect someone, and I hurt them, yeah, that sucks.Do you ever apologize? Under what circumstances?
Very, very few. My 1-3 closest friends in the world, my boyfriend and my sister. My sister is the one I feel most comfortable with. She has her faults, as do I, but she (INFP) is remarkably non-judgemental with me and I don't know if she knows how much I appreciate that.Is there anyone that you would show vulnerability to? Would they see most of it, or only a little bit? How would that be manifested?
To be heard. To have what I think and feel valued. If there is one thing on this earth likely to trigger all sorts of deeply embedded baggage in me, it's the feeling that someone I care about isn't listening to me and/or isn't paying proper attention when something's up.What's something that you really need or appreciate from the people close to you?
I really identify with this comment from Dark Razor. And you know, I can even see WHY sometimes people would see me as a stereotypical ENTJ bulldozer/dictator. I know what behaviours of mine can lead others to think this. I consider myself, tho, actually surprisingly mushy. I cry easily, I feel compassion easily, I throw myself into emotional projects (i.e. personal relationships) with at times ill-advised abandon. My directness of manner does not reflect what it is often interpreted to reflect - some kind of essential coldness or stoniness. Not at all. In fact I wish I *was* 'stonier' inside.When I read the ENTJ description it seems like "wow, I should be a total badass like Napoleon all the time".