User Tag List

First 123

Results 21 to 28 of 28

  1. #21
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    3h50
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    4,460

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    So this is the hard part. My real life entp and I have been debating this issue to death the last few days in hour long stretches, in loud argumentative voices. The whole point of understanding personality types is to appreciate and accept that others think differently from you. That diversity of thought makes the world beautiful and makes human interactions so amazing and complex.

    I value honesty and athenticity more than just about anything else. So to ask someone else to change thier innate behavior, tendancies, and modes of communication is such an alien, repulsive concept to me. Everyone should be able to be what the really are and not have to become something else.

    Yet this particular pattern of interactions can go very wrong and it really, really hurts on the receiving end. This is how you communicate, how you care for others, its real, it is authentic, you mean it, it is instinct.

    I dunno-Just be aware of the potential for miscommunication? We are equally, if not more so at fault. We are too open, trusting, too ready to emo-share too quickly.

    I promise I adore you guys IRL.
    I think a big part of the difference is that there is not so much of a fine distinction and familiarity with emotions as other types have. It's really very binary - once you're known, you're either positive or negative. Now, behind each of those categorizations, there is the whole gamut of emotions - positive happy (which will lead to very gregarious behavior) is much different than negative happy (which will usually lead to thoughts like "you bastard - you're still a jerk, but good job").

    The downside of this is because of the binary sense of behavior, there is a weakened sense of consideration toward the emotional reaction to statements or actions. When I act in a positive sense toward someone I want a connection with, I really genuinely do want that connection - but it's not an emotional sort of connection as much as it is an intellectual one. I only feel truly connected to a person when I know them entirely, and they know me entirely, and in this shared knowledge that we are invariably bound to one another (I think that's also why we tend to be not so good at prioritizing and censoring information exchange).

    This sense of deep knowing (as in Stranger in a Strange Land, "grokking", a concept that I think most NTs understood at a deep level at first glance) does eventually turn into a strong emotional bond, to where we feel we can't live without that person, such as the quote in your signature. However, that's the endpoint of the relationship development. Once we've gotten to that point, we feel it's understood how each party perceives and feels about the other person, that each can be counted on for important things, and that full honest disclosure without softening is acceptable, because it's not going to change that person's opinion of you (the binary sense of positive/negative opinion of a person). At that point, that person has become a home base, and we've become a loyal colleague to the end.

    Of course, at that point, the other person also starts to become a little boring, since we've figured out what makes them tick. As much as we like them, and feel we're better people for having them in our lives, we don't need to be around them all the time. The world's a big place, you know, and a lot of people are in it. So, perhaps we don't go out of our way to spend time with you anymore, because we have so much else we're interested in doing. Maybe a new project, or maybe a fun vacation that we didn't invite you to, because you didn't seem like you were having that much fun on the last one, though if you did and we read you wrong, tell us and we'll never not invite you again, even family vacations. I'm beginning to understand why that's hurtful - no one likes being left out, and it seems malicious even if the intent was completely benign. Empathy is certainly a trait that has to be actively developed in our type.

    That being said, any time there's an emergency, something major, and by major I mean earth-shattering, where you absolutely need someone right now who will do whatever they can to make you feel better and to make the situation better, I can't think of a better type of person to have around than an ENTP. Without question we'll drop whatever it is we're doing (we're pretty good about that), and start hitting every resource we can possibly think of to make you feel better and rectify the situation. We'll stay until we've done everything we can think of, and once we feel like you don't need us anymore, only then will we begin to leave, but not before asking about a million times "are you sure there's nothing else you need from me?"

    If that's not love, what is?

  2. #22
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    1,458

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    That being said, any time there's an emergency, something major, and by major I mean earth-shattering, where you absolutely need someone right now who will do whatever they can to make you feel better and to make the situation better, I can't think of a better type of person to have around than an ENTP. Without question we'll drop whatever it is we're doing (we're pretty good about that), and start hitting every resource we can possibly think of to make you feel better and rectify the situation. We'll stay until we've done everything we can think of, and once we feel like you don't need us anymore, only then will we begin to leave, but not before asking about a million times "are you sure there's nothing else you need from me?"

    If that's not love, what is?



    It's all true, but I wanted to point out this portion specifically. It's something I wish more people understood about us.

  3. #23
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,226

    Default

    That's it entps. I'm sorry, it's over. I have to break up with you.

    It's not you....It's me....well not really, it's totally all your fault.

    All I ever wanted was needy, crazed. clinging emo excess, excessive spooning, rainbows, massive displays of PDA, someone to dump all my emo baggage on, and intense Fi inspired emo connections which last longer than 4.2 seconds....

    Alas, I am afraid that it just may not happen. The sex was amazing but you seem to have once again wondered off and seduced my sister....

    I mean she's great but seriously??? Our deep, thoughtful, heavenly inspired connectivities were so beautiful till you saw the shiny gum wrapper flutter across the parking lot. Oh, how I shall miss those fluttery looks as you alternate staring deep into my eyes with checking out the chick in the miniskirt across the room.....True love!

    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    When I act in a positive sense toward someone I want a connection with, I really genuinely do want that connection - but it's not an emotional sort of connection as much as it is an intellectual one. I only feel truly connected to a person when I know them entirely, and they know me entirely, and in this shared knowledge that we are invariably bound to one another

    However, that's the endpoint of the relationship development. Once we've gotten to that point, we feel it's understood how each party perceives and feels about the other person, that each can be counted on for important things, and that full honest disclosure without softening is acceptable, because it's not going to change that person's opinion of you (the binary sense of positive/negative opinion of a person). At that point, that person has become a home base, and we've become a loyal colleague to the end.

    Of course, at that point, the other person also starts to become a little boring, since we've figured out what makes them tick. As much as we like them, and feel we're better people for having them in our lives, we don't need to be around them all the time. .

    My bf entp and i discussed this over lunch. We do not connect over emo. We connect over thought, discussion, debate, and ideas. We will be there forever for each other intellectually.

    However-while the enfp/entp dynamic seems doomed to failure in a romantic sense, we make awesome friends. The part about knowing every aspect of the other person doesnt seem to happen between us because we both keep changing. So we never grow bored of each other as we are different people each time we meet. You cannot figure out the endlessly mercurial.

    However we see each other everyday. If we moved apart I would promptly find a new best friend entp in a new place and fondly, lovingly remember my old best friend entp every other day or so. I am on my third one.

  4. #24
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BlahBlahNounBlah View Post
    It's all true, but I wanted to point out this portion specifically. It's something I wish more people understood about us.
    you show your affection via actions not emotions?

  5. #25
    resonance entropie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    783
    Posts
    16,761

    Default

    Uah so much too read, anyone want a beer too ?
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #26
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    entp
    Posts
    1,190

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    Yet this particular pattern of interactions can go very wrong and it really, really hurts on the receiving end. This is how you communicate, how you care for others, its real, it is authentic, you mean it, it is instinct.

    I dunno-Just be aware of the potential for miscommunication? We are equally, if not more so at fault. We are too open, trusting, too ready to emo-share too quickly.

    I promise I adore you guys IRL.

    really wanna know the entp side of miscommunication?
    i dated an INTJ for a while. perfect in every way...first girl i've ever wanted a long term with.

    guess what drove us apart...the entp larger than life persona. what you call being friendly with everyone we know. i was just being me...talking to girls, chatting with old friends, talking to random people at random places. all this gave the INTJ girl the impression that i might not be too serious about her and i was playing the field (EXACT FREAKIN OPPOSITE)...so, she started to do the same, which was fine. except that shes not ENTP, shes INTJ. she didn't know how to do be outgoing without being over the top flirty...so in trying to play me, she ended blowing whatever we had away. that hurt like a mofo cuz neither of us wanted it to end but neither of our prides' would allow us to admit what went wrong


    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    That being said, any time there's an emergency, something major, and by major I mean earth-shattering, where you absolutely need someone right now who will do whatever they can to make you feel better and to make the situation better, I can't think of a better type of person to have around than an ENTP. Without question we'll drop whatever it is we're doing (we're pretty good about that), and start hitting every resource we can possibly think of to make you feel better and rectify the situation. We'll stay until we've done everything we can think of, and once we feel like you don't need us anymore, only then will we begin to leave, but not before asking about a million times "are you sure there's nothing else you need from me?"
    true dat...entp loyalty is unwavering...i say that looking back at my not-so-long-but-long-enough life

    not sure if other ENTPs will agree but when helping out someone by sitting in the ER for the entire night studying for an exam waiting for the person to get checked out, its usually selfless...im not looking for anything in return...ring true with anyone else?

  7. #27
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    1,458

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by thisGuy View Post
    true dat...entp loyalty is unwavering...i say that looking back at my not-so-long-but-long-enough life

    not sure if other ENTPs will agree but when helping out someone by sitting in the ER for the entire night studying for an exam waiting for the person to get checked out, its usually selfless...im not looking for anything in return...ring true with anyone else?

    Yes. It's selfless. I don't want or need anything back. All I want is to help.

  8. #28
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    3h50
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    4,460

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    you show your affection via actions not emotions?
    Yep. If an ENTP has gone out of their way to meticulously plan something wonderfully thoughtful and romantic for you to do with him or her on a set future date, and has followed through to the T with complete attention to detail, you can be one hundred percent certain that they are madly head-over-heels in love with you. It might make him or her awkward as all hell to say it, but it's there.

    I remember that during the time I was in love with the only girl I've ever been that way with, that I would do and say things out of the ordinary (like visit her 350 miles away 3 times during a semester) from my perspective, and hope beyond hope that she would figure out what was going on and start the conversation, because there was no way in hell that I was going to properly put into words exactly how I felt about her in a way that would meet my standards or leave me able to deal with the possible rejection (man that shadow F freaks me out). Of course, what was the dominant mode of this attraction? "She's the only person who could ever truly understand me".

    Of course, this was all unrequited, and pretty much over within about 6 months. Getting over it was easy once the Ti function started playing nice with the NP, and I rationalized out all the ways the relationship would have never worked out (and in later conversations with other friends, they've all tended to agree with those assessments).

    However, she's still the one person who I can honestly say fills me up with warm fuzzies on the inside when I think of her. Not even my parents or siblings fall in that category. And yes, if she sends me an e-mail today saying she's in serious trouble and needs help right now, my ass is on a plane to Nicaragua tomorrow.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENTP] Behold! The ENTP infected with love.
    By digesthisickness in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 162
    Last Post: 09-09-2016, 02:35 PM
  2. [ENTP] how ENTP loves??
    By cless986 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 07-06-2010, 04:25 PM
  3. [ENTP] ENTP's-connecting with people through Ne
    By INTPness in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 01-19-2010, 11:09 PM
  4. [ENTP] Emo ENTP Men... Huh?
    By Charmed Justice in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 08-16-2009, 02:27 PM
  5. [ENTP] Fuck you, I love ENTPs
    By Nillerz in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 08-09-2009, 11:06 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO