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  1. #11
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    This seems like it is trivial. You guys are fucking people over with this. I'd put money on this being how you hurt people badly.
    No itís not trivial, not at all. I hate hurting people because they think thereís something deeper than there is but the alternative for me is not to treat everyone the same and that goes against my nature and the way I believe I should be. I often donít see the warning signs until itís too late either, and then it seems my only option is hurting them and ending the friendship, not an easy thing when I do care for them.

    As it is Iím already hesitant and suspicious around men (and some women) who I think may see my actions as flirtatious and suggestive of something deeper. Iíve been in too many situations where friends have tried to cross the line of friendship in the past, most of my friends are female for this reason. I treat everyone the same unless they cross that line, then I back off and try not to send mixed signals cause it really does make me pretty damn sad to lose a friend because they care too much and I canít offer what they want.

    If itís a relationship you can be sure my feelings in the moment are authentic but I can't promise you theyíll last. If itís a friendship, again my feelings are legit but my aim is not to flirt or suggest thereís more on offer.

    Realize this. Fi acts like a mirror. If someone has Fi, they physiologically mimic what they percieve you to be feeling, what you project. They have NO CHOICE, unless they block defensively, knowingly, planning ahead to do this. If you project intense short term emo vibes, vibes that imply connectivity, that we are close, that you love us, that is what Fi will make us feel in return. We will love you back.
    But I do want a connection, that's always my aim.

    Unicorns are not real.
    That was uncalled for!

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post

    For one stands, folks you only see now and then, the short term emo isnt a big deal. The danger will be in long term interactions where there is the most risk of misleading the other person.

    dont touch them, dont be sweet to them, dont flirt with them, dont imply intimacy if you do not want that intimacy in return on a longer level. Learn to recognize what you are projecting. Understand the miscommunication that WILL occur.
    then you would call us cold and selfish...and its not flirting!! its communication...isnt it?

    also, when im flirting, theres no way you can confuse it with anything else

  3. #13
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    You guys are fucking people over with this. I'd put money on this being how you hurt people badly.
    What do you mean?


    My IRL entp and the rest of comments confirm this short term emo connection. What makes this so hard is that for you guys this is real and authentic. Otherwise I would hate you all for it.
    It's more like intense initial interest rather than a straight emotional connection. I'm rather out of touch with my feelings sometimes so it's often more just digging.

    Then when you wonder off to the next bright shiny, we are left behind. You dumped your emo our way, forced us to have a Fi response and show our core, our essence, then left us standing thier bleeding and raw. Fi is not a short term response. Fi Lasts forever. By not embracing the emo response you brought forth as worthy of your long term attention, you reject it. You reject us.
    I don't know about Fi and all that. It might just be that people get used to the intensity of the initial interest. And then miss it when it's gone. I don't know.

    Unicorns are not real.
    That's a metaphor, of course. I think metaphors are real.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  4. #14
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    Can you have a strong emo connection with someone in the moment yet not really call it love?
    Sure. Lust, infatuation, passion, joy, etc.


    Do you ever find others mistaking your natural charm, flirting, or seductivness for some deeper connection?
    Sometimes, but I avoid getting ahead of myself until I'm at least reasonably sure I might feel the same way. It's hard for me to know if there's a connection unless I'm, you know, connecting.


    What does real love feel like for an ENTP?
    Same as it does for anyone else, I assume.

  5. #15
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thisGuy View Post
    i cant say for sure when im in love...but after sometime it becomes relatively clear cuz of my actions

    Yeah ... this. I know I'm in love when I'm doing and caring about things I wouldn't if I weren't.

  6. #16
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    What makes this so hard is that for you guys this is real and authentic. Otherwise I would hate you all for it.

    Realize this. Fi acts like a mirror. If someone has Fi, they physiologically mimic what they percieve you to be feeling, what you project. They have NO CHOICE, unless they block defensively, knowingly, planning ahead to do this. If you project intense short term emo vibes, vibes that imply connectivity, that we are close, that you love us, that is what Fi will make us feel in return. We will love you back.

    But since Fi does not openly share with others normally until some level of emo intimacy has been achieved, we can be taken off guard by this short term intense emo you guys use, and misinterrpret it for something more significant and meaningful. You sneak up on us then dive deep with emo hooks.

    Then when you wonder off to the next bright shiny, we are left behind. You dumped your emo our way, forced us to have a Fi response and show our core, our essence, then left us standing thier bleeding and raw. Fi is not a short term response. Fi Lasts forever. By not embracing the emo response you brought forth as worthy of your long term attention, you reject it. You reject us.

    But I feel what I feel and I can't guarantee I'll feel that way forever. Should I pretend not to care when I do?

  7. #17
    Alexander the Terrible yenom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    Can you have a strong emo connection with someone in the moment yet not really call it love?


    Do you ever find others mistaking your natural charm, flirting, or seductivness for some deeper connection?


    What does real love feel like for an ENTP?

    Well I think you are investing alot of "feelings" in the relationship and you don't want to get hurt. If you want to have a relationship with a certain person, you muast be prepared that he might reject you for some reason.

    as far as I know, NTPs are not as unpredictable as you think, if they know that the relationship is a dead end and turns sour, they will tell you gradually. It won't be like an abrupt drop off the cliff. These are more like SPs.

    NTPs do not show their vulnerabilities easily, because they adopt a Ti defense system that is not easty to pull down. You have to be patient with this. some of us are quite selfish and cold, but genuinely we careabout our partners more than you think, although we may not always show it.
    The fear of poverty turns people into slaves of money.

    "In this Caesar there are many Mariuses"~Sulla

    Conquer your inner demons first before you conquer the world.

  8. #18
    Member ghoti's Avatar
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    I always admire an ENTPs ability to get along better with my friends they just met than I do, and inevitably steal them away. And by admire I mean it always made me feel insanely insecure. ENTPs have the ability to completely crash every ounce of confidence I have, and I don't think I'll ever understand why.

    I'm extremely selective about who I trust enough to share myself with, whereas from my experience, ENTPs seem capable of splitting their time between everyone on the planet. This led to quite a lot of insecurity on my part when I first met my ENTP girlfriend. The way she treated me was amazing, and it was at a time where most of my school was refusing to talk to me. She was the first person that ever thought what I had to say was interesting, but she was also the first person I could understand. I was in love from the very first moment, which is scary for somebody like me. As much as I hate talking, with her it was addictive, and she had a way of drawing out things I thought I would never share.

    But I knew that's how she treated everyone, so it no longer felt special. It left me empty watching her interact with others, seeing how she was just as engaging. She would tell me most of her friends would admit they had crushes on her, and that she always turned them down and ended the friendships. She was my only friend, and I was too afraid to risk whatever we had for something more. Every time she flirted with me was painful, and every time she made me feel excited I couldn't shake the thought that to her I was just like everyone else and it meant nothing. I never would have acted on my feelings, except she admitted hers first.

    I still don't know what she sees in me, but I trust her. I never even talk to her friends and I doubt they want anything to do with me. I prefer not knowing how much more fun she has with them than me and I understand she has much higher social requirements than I do that I'll never be capable of fulfilling.

    So I don't blame ENTPs for the way they are, but I do understand how much heartache it can cause.

  9. #19
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    That was uncalled for!
    No, no, trust me, unicorns really are not real. When I was five my career plan was to turn into a unicorn. It was a tough break when it finally occured to me that they were not real. Then I was just going to turn into a plain old horse. Somewhere around 11 I began to think this might be statistically unlikely and had to build a new life plan.

    Sorry to bash the unicorn. All my rainbows were gray that day and my unicorns were in hiding. The dragons were out in full force though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    If itís a relationship you can be sure my feelings in the moment are authentic but I can't promise you theyíll last. If itís a friendship, again my feelings are legit but my aim is not to flirt or suggest thereís more on offer.
    Quote Originally Posted by thisGuy View Post
    then you would call us cold and selfish...and its not flirting!! its communication...isnt it?
    Quote Originally Posted by BlahBlahNounBlah View Post
    But I feel what I feel and I can't guarantee I'll feel that way forever. Should I pretend not to care when I do?
    Quote Originally Posted by ghoti View Post
    So I don't blame ENTPs for the way they are, but I do understand how much heartache it can cause.
    So this is the hard part. My real life entp and I have been debating this issue to death the last few days in hour long stretches, in loud argumentative voices. The whole point of understanding personality types is to appreciate and accept that others think differently from you. That diversity of thought makes the world beautiful and makes human interactions so amazing and complex.

    I value honesty and athenticity more than just about anything else. So to ask someone else to change thier innate behavior, tendancies, and modes of communication is such an alien, repulsive concept to me. Everyone should be able to be what the really are and not have to become something else.

    Yet this particular pattern of interactions can go very wrong and it really, really hurts on the receiving end. This is how you communicate, how you care for others, its real, it is authentic, you mean it, it is instinct.

    I dunno-Just be aware of the potential for miscommunication? We are equally, if not more so at fault. We are too open, trusting, too ready to emo-share too quickly.

    I promise I adore you guys IRL.

  10. #20
    Member stormyapril's Avatar
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    So from here on out I will end every conversation with:

    Just so we're clear, I probably connected directly to your soul, you may feel like we have known each other for many lifetimes. Feel free to contact me at any time ( especially like drunk phone calls at 12:00 am from bars, I still have time to show up and get a drink, maybe even hook up with you later), but don't expect me to conect with you on this level every time we see each other, especially if I am: 1. busy with work, 2. in the process of partying, 3. having sex with someone else

    Other than that, it was good to meet you and have a nice life!

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