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  1. #1
    Branded with Satan murkrow's Avatar
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    Default Strategies for Rationalists in a Sensationally Feely world.

    This will be a thread for us to compile our strategies for appealing socially conventional.

    Ways to be polite and not appear arrogant or disrespectful.


    This is obviously a problem people who aren't NT have, but more NTs have it.


    I will compile them into this OP list:

    Try to bait questions if you don't think people know what you're talking about. Try to have people make the statements you wand to make to them.
    This will give people a chance to speak when you're explaining something complex, it will make it feel more like a conversation which helps to maintain their attention.
    All in all, Socrates manages to hold the attention of people for whole discussions and he does it by asking and receiving questions.
    It can also be useful for baiting compliments from others when attempting to secure a responsibility. When there is something at work you want the responsibility of doing, have your boss compliment you on the attributes you have that would serve you well in the task. For example, talk nonchalantly about something exemplary you did in a way that the person you're speaking to will respond in the way of "Well that's only because you're so...".

    This compliment fishing and dialogue development comes easily to some people, but to many of us it's simply not instinctive.
    wails from the crypt.

  2. #2
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Finding out what is important to the other person. Attempt to respect it, if it is reasonable on some level. And then show compassion in the form of mutual respect and understanding. And perhaps give sugarcoated advice to get a sense of how deep the subject is to the other person's hard and try to asses how much NT you can lay upon them without them becoming annoyed or distressed.

    Start easy and slow, and work up from that.

    It's easy to offend someone. But offending someone won't get them up to your point of view. The trick is to work up to your point of view slowly, and not offending them. Most any feeler will most likely be capable of reaching a level of understanding that you may have thought impossible at first.

    Feelers tend to be spontanious. You have to ease things on them. Not sparking off that spontanity(sp?).
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  3. #3
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    I try and smile when I speak seriously, which isn't always easy. And make an effort to smile with your eyes.

    I maintain eye contact like usual, but make it less intense or piercing and look away every once in a while.

    When you are speaking seriously and someone interrupts with a silly joke, laugh and continue, rather than shoot daggers at them.

    Always ask about people's kids or pets.

    When someone says something inane, say "you're right" and give a context (however small) that this could happen in, basically give them confirmation.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    Dealing with an individual feeler, isn't that much more difficult then dealing with an individual thinker. Just show interest in the other person, listen careful to them. Nobody minds someone who works different from themselves, as long as that person accepts the differences.

    The only hard part is when a feeler you care for comes to you with a personal problem you know you would easily solve, but they won't accept your answer because of [insert irrational argument here]. When this happens I just nod politely and hide my inner anger for you not accepting a solution for YOUR problem.

    In dealing with a feeler environment in general, I just search for the most rational person/location and venture out into the feeler world for moments at a time.

  5. #5
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    But I find that dealing with thinkers I can generally go at them at higher if not fullspeed discussion. Just give them my thoughts on a stick. And know it probably wouldn't bother them that I do.

    But most feelers don't like to handle that and prefer it in bits and pieces.

    When I work with customers, I always just smalltalk whatever with them. I'm thinking something completely different, but saying whatever they want to hear. It's a cold approach perhaps, but since I have no interest in developing interpersonal relationships with customers, it works fine. I've developped a pretty decent method on faking interest. I have to be careful not to use that elsewhere though.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  6. #6
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    I can relate to that, sometimes you have to pretend to be interested a little more personally with feelers. They're not interested in our full analogy of a subject but would rather hear your general thoughts.

    What I primarily meant to say in my last post is that feelers are not that hard to communicate with because they will like you easily if you are a generally nice person, or at the very least can convey that. Thinkers on the other hand might need some more time to start liking feelers, but when a thinker actually takes an interest, or deducts that hanging out with a particular feeler is in some way 'good' or 'logical' (which usually is the case if there's not evidence of the contrary, even for introverts) they will also like the feeler. So regardless of the difference in nature, thinkers and feelers can get along as long as both accept the others way of communicating.

  7. #7
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Just let loose and dance.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  8. #8
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Yeah but if they suddenly turn the subject to something else that you shouldn't smile about but you aren't paying attention while keep nodding and smiling. It will horribly backfire.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  9. #9
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    You could actually BE interested you know.

    And if you're not, well, maybe if you're a salesman it gets that complicated, but I've never experienced it in an extreme form.

  10. #10
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    One of the things I regularly do is drive a cab. Some customers just go rattle rattle rattle. If it's some nasty old pessimistic hag or something, I won't hear what they're saying, but just pretend. Sometimes they say something that I'm recognize and I drop in a comment or two.

    Regularly happens that I have a customer looking all devilish at me for not responding the way they want me too.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

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