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  1. #1
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    Default NT: what do you wish your parents had known about you?

    I have a kiddo whom I suspect is an ENTJ/P. Even at 4, already a total servant of (her own immature version) of logic. She astounds me. She's incredibly well-spoken and assertive. On the playground, she's the one organizing all the other children into her own little army. There are a lot of echoes of dh's INTJ personality in her, except she's wildly extroverted.

    I wanna know what makes her tick. What do you wish your parents had known about you? How do you feel you were misunderstood? What did they do that really communicated love to you? What did you need? :popcorn:
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  2. #2
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    I wish my Dad would have explained mistakes I did to me and especially why they are mistakes. He rather made me live in constant fear to be beaten up by him, if I do something wrong and that way I had to find out whats right and whats wrong through trial and error.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  3. #3
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    There's plenty of things they don't know, but it is not in my interests, not of interest to me to tell them. So, nothing they need to know. :P

    By the way, I was extremely extroverted as a kid too, quite introverted now. My introversion didn't visibly start to develop at all until I was 17 years old. Before that I was very extroverted. I don't think MBTI is accurate, if even possible, on younglings to properly test. I think it most obviously start to develop at an age of about 10. Before that we're a bunch of parrots and do the same as people around us do. For I/E at least.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  4. #4
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    Hmmm...about the parrot thing. Dh and I are both fairly introverted. :P But then, I was extroverted as a child, too, mostly because my parents valued extroversion. :muse:
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  5. #5
    / booyalab's Avatar
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    As a child, I just wanted more respect. I hated being thought of as cute. I hated when adults would talk about me in third person while I was right in front of them. I hated when anyone would let me win. I hated being doted over. I hated when I asked my dad about his work and even went so far as to try to copy it, because it looked so interesting (engineering diagrams, designs), he would just get mad at me and tell me to leave. If he had just taken a measly second to explain it, even though I wouldn't have understood most of it, I would have eaten it up.
    I don't wanna!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Nighthawk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    I wish my Dad would have explained mistakes I did to me and especially why they are mistakes. He rather made me live in constant fear to be beaten up by him, if I do something wrong and that way I had to find out whats right and whats wrong through trial and error.
    Same here ... I was often beaten for asking "why" I wasn't supposed to do something (defintely old school parenting). A logical explanation of why I wasn't supposed to do something would have probably worked out quite well. Of course, if there was no logic behind something they wanted me to do ... chances are, I would not do it.

    Also, I considered a beating a severe violation of my physical being and still hold animosity toward my parents for having done so. Not saying you would do that though

    I would have liked them to respect my imagination a bit more, instead of ridiculing me for it ... sometimes in front of my peers. My father (ESFP) in particular was notorious for that. To him, the only thing that mattered was that I got an 'A' in PE. Arch-typical jock.

  7. #7
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    Also, I considered a beating a severe violation of my physical being and still hold animosity toward my parents for having done so. Not saying you would do that though
    I'll bet! That sucks. I'm actually pretty passionate about non punitive parenting...but I do tend to get aggitated rather than calmly explaining things. She does actually insist on knowing the "why", and, having been brought up pretty old school myself, I have to stifle the rote "Because I SAID so" response. Hmm. Good thoughts.
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  8. #8
    Is Willard in Footloose!! CJ99's Avatar
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    I wish my parents were more understanding of my abstractness and (though this is going away now) complete antisocialness.
    They always tried to get me to socialise and have lots of friends. Great because i could have people round whenever and still can but annoying because they didn't understand how i actually enjoyed being alone in my room, they thought i was just sleeping rather tha reading thinkng gaming and writing every so often.

    What else. I wish they were more able to see when i want to talk and when i don't.
    Fair enough making converstion but i don't really respond why then plaese stop trying. They always think something is wrong and then when i try to explain that i just can;'t be bothered talking to them they take it REALLY badly.
    "I'd never die for my beliefs, I might be wrong"

    "Is it not enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe there are fairys at the bottom of it too"

    "Intelligence is being able to hold too opposing views in the mind at the one time without going crazy" - Now all I need to figure out is if I'm intelligent or crazy!

  9. #9
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    I was rarely beaten but I am glad I was at the times I did get a beating.

    They also regularly locked me up in the bathroom. Placed my head under a cold stream of water. Washed my mouth with green soap. Etc.

    My father usually only needed to put two fingers in the air. Like a count. From one to three, but he always skipped the one and if you didn't stop before the three it was already too late. So when he put up two fingers, you better behave! Worked like a charm on me and my brother and sister.

    Anyhow, the only times they punished me I had it coming. I was given full freedom otherwise to do as a please. I think it is important for a parent to be able to punish a child, when it is appropiate. But ofcourse, punished a child when it isn't aware of being wrong or punishing a child at the wrong time, or punish them for something sometimes but not all the time, etc. Those are all bad imo. Parents have to be consistent and reliable.

    My father is ESTJ, my mother ENFJ. (I think)
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  10. #10
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    Fair enough making converstion but i don't really respond why then plaese stop trying. They always think something is wrong and then when i try to explain that i just can;'t be bothered talking to them they take it REALLY badly.
    digesting...thanks for posting this! I have crowbar tenancies, but remember what it was like to need space, too.
    I think I think more than you think I think.

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