'Cause Of the Unspoken
Because it would have been even more painful than staying, because selfishness is crucial to survival, because morality is malleable. Because, because…..I have yet to find the cause. The effect is concrete. It is felt every day, in thought, in hope, in willful blindness. The very evidence of the effect assumes the cause, well, a cause.
Words are spoken, as if saying them makes it so. Convincing with conviction.
And, then there’s silence in action. And....the words fall apart, each sound broken and dissipating into the great big unspoken between us. And, with each day, with each thought, with each hope, with each willful blindness, the unspoken grows. Larger and larger.
And size does matter.
The lion tamer shies away, shaking his head at my delusion. Control, he whispers, control….is an illusion. It is only lived in a miniscule moment. And, it too, does pass. The lion isn’t controlled; that moment with the lion, right before he jumps, therein, he says, lies the control. The moment. The unspoken. Bloated, constricted, choking.....with anticipation. As the crowd looks on. To maul or mind.
And, the more you control, the less it becomes.
Less is more, he repeats. Less….is…more.
I wonder if it is so to control self-disappointment. And, then I disregard. The laws of physics are on my side. Cause – effect. If there’s a cause, you cannot curb the effect. It’s a' comin', sweetheart. Whether you want it, or, or…..
So the anger sets in. Why couldn't I curb the cause in the first place? Failure of control.
In the lion tamer’s circus, adjacent, sits the world’s strongest woman. Legend has it she can stop a freight-train, just by will.
Will she? Now, that is the ticket-price question.
Well, she joined the circus in the first place. And, the train has left the station, stay put, or, move out of the way.
I wait to see what she does.
The deafening speed of the train, hearts set racing, the unspoken cause gets a voice.
Anticipation of effect.
Loud and clear. A roar.
It was never the lion. Nor….the train.
And, now that you all are thorougly confused......