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  1. #21
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Default Since I was fishing for encouragement, to not feel completely exposed...here goes

    'Cause Of the Unspoken

    Because it would have been even more painful than staying, because selfishness is crucial to survival, because morality is malleable. Because, because…..I have yet to find the cause. The effect is concrete. It is felt every day, in thought, in hope, in willful blindness. The very evidence of the effect assumes the cause, well, a cause.

    Words are spoken, as if saying them makes it so. Convincing with conviction.

    And, then there’s silence in action. And....the words fall apart, each sound broken and dissipating into the great big unspoken between us. And, with each day, with each thought, with each hope, with each willful blindness, the unspoken grows. Larger and larger.

    And size does matter.

    The lion tamer shies away, shaking his head at my delusion. Control, he whispers, control….is an illusion. It is only lived in a miniscule moment. And, it too, does pass. The lion isn’t controlled; that moment with the lion, right before he jumps, therein, he says, lies the control. The moment. The unspoken. Bloated, constricted, choking.....with anticipation. As the crowd looks on. To maul or mind.

    And, the more you control, the less it becomes.

    Less is more, he repeats. Less….is…more.

    I wonder if it is so to control self-disappointment. And, then I disregard. The laws of physics are on my side. Cause – effect. If there’s a cause, you cannot curb the effect. It’s a' comin', sweetheart. Whether you want it, or, or…..

    So the anger sets in. Why couldn't I curb the cause in the first place? Failure of control.

    In the lion tamer’s circus, adjacent, sits the world’s strongest woman. Legend has it she can stop a freight-train, just by will.

    Will she? Now, that is the ticket-price question.

    Well, she joined the circus in the first place. And, the train has left the station, stay put, or, move out of the way.

    I wait to see what she does.

    The deafening speed of the train, hearts set racing, the unspoken cause gets a voice.

    Anticipation of effect.

    Loud and clear. A roar.

    It was never the lion. Nor….the train.


    ***************

    And, now that you all are thorougly confused......

  2. #22
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Oh geez. My style is so similar. It's almost frightning.

    Oh, 't is awesome by the way. I relate and it's also very clear to me really. Not hard to understand at all.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  3. #23
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    No kidding, fluff. you guys do have a similar style...

    That's great Q. Would be a great visual story, on the screen.

  4. #24
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Q - beautiful. Really enjoyed reading your writing. It captured the sentiment perfectly. And what a great NT example of writing as well, related to an NT superpower - that of using will to control self in all of the ways possible. Great visual metaphor.

    I also enjoyed your wordsmithery, as always
    Convincing with conviction, all of the different uses of will - well done.

    It made me wish I had more context for the very first part:
    Because it would have been even more painful than staying, because selfishness is crucial to survival, because morality is malleable. Because, because…..I have yet to find the cause. The effect is concrete. It is felt every day, in thought, in hope, in willful blindness. The very evidence of the effect assumes the cause, well, a cause.

  5. #25
    Senior Member sonata's Avatar
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    Erin's dreams had never been too far-flung, if you could even call them dreams. She'd always had some idea of where she wanted to get, and in a few days or weeks, she'd find a way to make herself get there. A process, towards a specific achievement. Point A to Point B; the path was straight.

    This previous record of strictly plausible dreams made today even more astoundingly ridiculous.

    That evening, Erin was with her friends, some casual acquaintances, and Daniel, the man she was currently --- involved with, she supposed. (All the words for this seemed infinitely tacky). They had piled in to her friend Rose's van for an end-of-the-year get-together before everyone went their separate ways. She'd come because multiple people insisted on it. Usually, she wasn't much for goodbyes. She'd disappear as soon as possible, to avoid the hugging and the crying and the assurances from people she'd hardly known, with a plastered-on smile and an earnest expression, that they would miss her terribly.

    They pulled up to Rose's house, which she'd built herself, full of entwined staircases and high ceilings. The best part was the lake. Erin had always had a thing for bodies of water. We could live here. The thought popped into her mind without warning. Daniel and I.

    What? No.

    He was leaving in two days, and she hadn't wanted anything more than a fling, anyway. This was not a practical time in her life for a serious relationship, if it ever would be. Certainly she wasn't planning to live with him. She was not one of those girls that started picking out baby names on the first date. She had a lot of other dreams. Better dreams. Realistic dreams. Romantic dreams usually ended either in heartbreak, or the scene after the happy ending, where the two people get sick of each other and start fighting and split up and then argue more about what to do with the house and the kids.

    Predictably, everyone else adored the scenery as well. "Can I have your house?" murmured one girl, awestruck.

    "Hell, no," said Daniel. "I'm putting up the down payment today."

    "You'd have to fight me for it," Erin muttered, looking away from him. She might as well join in.

    "Wouldn't we share it?" he said, smiling at her in that irksome way of his.

    "Oh." She opened her mouth, then closed it. "If you insist," she said sarcastically, as if the possibility had never crossed her mind. As if she didn't suddenly want it, more than anything, and the fact that he wanted it too, even jokingly, didn't drive her crazy.

    Most relationships suck, she knew.

    But this one doesn't.

    Not yet.

    It doesn't matter. He's leaving. Snap out of it.

    She turned away from the lake and took a bite of watermelon, back in reality. It was just a stupid dream, after all. It was never going to happen.

  6. #26
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    Title: Ashen Heart.
    The plot would be of a man who finds a jewish woman qwho escaped from a concentration camp in a roadside ditch, then their flight to escape the Nazis as they treak towards allied lines in Italy.

    'At that very moment, a truck drove by, on it, a squad of SS men, whistling and cheering.
    Rachel leapt into the ditch, and sobbed, "No, no."
    "It's okay," said Marcus, "they're gone. She got to her feet.
    She whimpered, "They killed my family. Papa, Mama, jonah, Rabbi Neil. They are looking for me."
    Marcus attempted to soothe her: "Don't worry, I won't let them kill you. I get you out f here."
    Rachel looked up. Marcus continued: "I've heard news of some sort of attack in Italy. They say that men have come to destroy the Reich. Mussolini has already died. Do you fancy a trip to Italy, to escape this?"
    Rachel answered, "Yes, thank you." She embraced him arround the middle and wept. Marcus did not knwo what to do. He just held her softly as she cried into him.'
    What do you think?

  7. #27
    Member Rikka's Avatar
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    A slow starting love story with a few comical undertones that takes a sudden turn for the dramatic. Picture a young, eccentric, daydreaming girl sleeping in the library stacks. Then picture a tall, successful lawyer that stumbles upon her. They meet, then they resume their lives for another hundred pages, and the frequency of their meetings increase, and so on.

  8. #28
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    Sounds like an everyday version of eureka seven.

  9. #29
    Member Rikka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mortabunt View Post
    Sounds like an everyday version of eureka seven.
    really? interesting, because my INTJ brother has been completely obsessing over the show for the past few days, and i was considering watching it. Well damn.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Nighthawk's Avatar
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    OK ... I had a few ideas in the distant past, before medications clouded my creativity. One of these involved an American sergeant on border patrol duty along the Iron Curtain. During the course of his patrol duties, he comes into contact with his Soviet counterpart ... a haughty, but stunningly beautiful female Russian lieutenant. They are both initially hostile towards each other, but develop a grudging respect for one another as their patrol duties and faux war games bring them in contact with each other more frequently. When he catches her one evening on the wrong side of the border, he chooses to ignore the infraction rather than capture her and turn her in. She accuses him of being a weak capitalist who should have exercised his military duty in capturing her. He counters that she is a cold-hearted communist who wouldn't recognize a compassionate gesture if it bit her in the ass. The weeks of hostile/sexual tension come to a head and they lunge into a passionate embrace.

    Soon they start sneaking across the border to see each other, risking everything up to an international incident and prison if they are caught. The fact that she is an officer and he is a sergeant makes things even more taboo. Her haughty demeanor softens considerably and he starts trying to convince her to defect so they can be together and start a family. Unfortunately, her defection would mean the gulag for her parents and relatives back in mother Russia, so it is not an option. Finally, one tearful night, she must tell him that she is being reassigned back to Moscow ... and this is the last time they will see each other. Both are devastated, but unable to thwart the machinations of two superpowers. She disappears behind the Iron Curtain and he continues his career in the US Army ... but neither forgets the other.

    Fast forward several years. The Iron Curtain has come down and the Soviet Union has disintegrated. He searches for her on the other side, but never manages to find her. Then, one day out of the blue, he receives a letter from her asking if she could visit him in the USA. Afraid to hope for to much, he guardedly replies yes and they make plans to meet on vacation in NYC. When the day finally arrives, he waits for her at the airport terminal, hoping to still recognize her after all these years. Despite her considerably longer blond hair, he recognizes her instantly ... but his heart sinks as she emerges with a boy about 6 years old. She has obviously met someone in the interim and started a family.

    He gathers up his best polite demeanor and gives her a cordial hug as they meet. Hoping to hide the pain in his eyes, he tells her, "That's a fine looking boy you have there." She replies, "Of course he is, he looks just like his father." "He must be one handsome man then," he says. "Yes," she beams at him, "yes, you are."

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