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  1. #1
    Senior Member Gewitter27's Avatar
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    Default INT Depression oddity?

    I'm new here, so may I jsut say that I'm currently in high school and I am suffering from MDD. I've been going through an episode since late March.

    People don't understand me very well, I beleive. For instance, If I was to say my self esteem level in an inequality, it would look like this.

    SELF-IMAGE < STEAMING PILE OF SH*T

    Obviously I'm quite down on myself. So here's the point: People have come to me, and, in all good faith, accused me of being a narcissist.

    In what I know, Narcissists absolutely love themselves. They are so full of themselves that they beleive themself better than all others and that others should be glad to be in their prescence.

    They are defining me as an antonym of what I really am.

    So here is the big question:

    Dos the fact that I'm an INT have something to do with being so thouroughly misunderstood? Does INT have anything to do with people mistaking a metaphorical cholera bacteria with a blue whale?

    I'm totally weirded out by this. It is quite frightening and I'm wondering if it has to do with INTness or probably a neurotic psychosis.

    Comment, discuss, etc.
    I 96% N 93% T 75% P 63% 5w4 sp/sx/so ILI
    Ti>Ne>Te>Ni>Si>Fi>Se>Fe
    I'm interested in what you percieve me to be. Johari/Nohari

  2. #2
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    How're your people skills? Communication skills?

    These can definitely contribute to others misunderstanding you...the (well-loved) INTs in my life really struggled through high school, because they tended towards being intelligent loners, which other people interpreted as arrogance. It was a tough time for them.

    Do you think your depression is situational? If the situation were different, and you could change the way others understood you, do you think you'd feel differently?

  3. #3
    Senior Member Gewitter27's Avatar
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    I'm noted for having terrible people and 'communication skills'.

    'Communication skills' being terrible is based on the idea that 'communication skills' rely on talking and listening. Ask me to do either, and I'll to it well. I have a hard time figuring out what to say or how to say it when I need to do both.

    If others viewed me differently, it wouldn't matter. *Points angrily to Fe and 4 wing*

    If they had in the past, it would have for sure. But the past is all well and gone and nobody is willing to accept new ideas. My HS is 75% ESFJ.
    I 96% N 93% T 75% P 63% 5w4 sp/sx/so ILI
    Ti>Ne>Te>Ni>Si>Fi>Se>Fe
    I'm interested in what you percieve me to be. Johari/Nohari

  4. #4
    Senior Member velocity's Avatar
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    make sure that the people accusing you of narcissism a) actually know what it means and b) aren't just insecure f*tards.

  5. #5
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
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    How many more years of high school do you have? I had a huge problem with faculty in GS/HS but things reversed when I got out.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Gewitter27's Avatar
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    I'm going into sophmore year, so I have to deal with that, junior, and senior year.
    I 96% N 93% T 75% P 63% 5w4 sp/sx/so ILI
    Ti>Ne>Te>Ni>Si>Fi>Se>Fe
    I'm interested in what you percieve me to be. Johari/Nohari

  7. #7
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Apparently there is a disconnect between your self image and the image other people see. To me this indicates that you need to apply some critical thinking and determine why there is a difference in perception. Your MDD diagnosis also poses certain problems, as it may be difficult for you to separate yourself from their effects, not to mention if you typed yourself when you had the disorder, you may be mistyped.

    Also, perhaps you feel misunderstood because of that disconnect, and when steps are taken to properly align your image in regards to yourself and others, it may fade. However, try not to take much, or any, worth in actually being "understood." Complaining of being misunderstood is typically used as an excuse, and you'd be better off abandoning that need.



  8. #8
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I went through major depressions all my life (esp in high school) although I was never diagnosed until adulthood. I lived in a pretty Sensor world and had few N friends (there just were not any around).

    Note that people in general (and then especially Sensors) will key off the tangible aspects of your personality. They do not realize or consider you to be whatever than what you show them. So I totally believe you when you say you are not narcissistic; I just think your probable tendency towards self-absorption (because you feel alienated, you introspect by default, and your external expressed lack of complex social skills) leads them to see you as more narcissistic, which certainly doesn't help with the alienation issue.

    I think mental illness involves (1) some type of break from reality and (2) one's own distorted sense of self and self-worth. How clear do you feel your vision is, do you find yourself "fair" to others, and what do you feel about your personal motivations towards others?

    Basically, a healthy person can perceive and do what is best long-term for their own and others' psychological growth, even if they take some amount of flak for doing it. (Put another way -- healthy self-boundaries and self-security that lets one interact with others without manipulating them for some reason.)

    You sound cogent. Your INT nature is definitely going to create issues for you; you just will not be well-understood and so you'll get even more social pressure, and you know you're already weak in that area.... so expect some stress.

    As far as a psychological illness, only a therapist/trained professional who spends time with you can help you figure that out. You don't sound crazy, though; you do sound like you are looking at yourself and can even assess that your own self-worth sucks. You're definitely self-aware, which is one aspect of mental health; usually screwed up people cannot see themselves clearly, they are in denial of reality of some sort. You also don't seem to be avoiding the issue of your own flaws. ("Neurosis is an attempt to avoid legitimate suffering.") If anything, you are probably far too hard on yourself and will have to learn to believe in yourself even when others are hard on you.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    An INT only becomes free when they learn which people's opinions to ignore.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Gewitter27's Avatar
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    I knew I was an INTP long before this arose.

    1. I think my vision is only poor, like fogged up glasses.
    2. Others find me very fair, almost to a fault. I value fairness greatly, I complain immensely when things are unfair.
    3. My personal motivations for others are simply to have little contact with them, and when that dows occur, try to figure out what they want and think of what to do about it.
    I 96% N 93% T 75% P 63% 5w4 sp/sx/so ILI
    Ti>Ne>Te>Ni>Si>Fi>Se>Fe
    I'm interested in what you percieve me to be. Johari/Nohari

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