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  1. #11
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Like when you have an argument with a friend that ended badly, but you didn't make up yet. Or he won't listen to your side of the story.

    I hate unresolved conflicts. I don't care what the resolution is: breaking up, breaking away, trying harder, whatever - I just want to fix it and be done. The goal is always understanding. It's very difficult to go on with my day if I simply don't understand what went wrong, or someone's point of view.

    But if someone is stubborn, or if I am too bothered by the turn of events, it's quite easy to resolve it by forming my own unsubstantiated conclusion. I just accept it as fact, then push it out of my mind and never think of it again. It will literally be forgotten, along with the person, in a matter of minutes.
    Ah okkk. I think I only now that from my girlfriend, cause my circle of friends is more like non-existent .

    And that with your girl then yes, sucks
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  2. #12
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Ah okkk. I think I only now that from my girlfriend, cause my circle of friends is more like non-existent .

    And that with your girl then yes, sucks
    Yeah, in a romantic relationship, it's a bummer and I hate it.

  3. #13
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    I don't like things hanging over my head, so I try my best to resolve it on my end. It bothers me...I obsess about it and dwell. Most of the time, therefore, I take action to resolve things. As long as I've done something about it - even if the other party doesn't cooperate - I feel better.

    It also depends on the severity of the conflict, and whether I consider myself obligated to resolve things. If I am having a conflict that is trivial, or that is completely the other person's doing, then I won't budge. It doesn't bother me as much, and I usually forget about it ('til the next time I see that person, of course). Sometimes I forget altogether, if the conflict is small enough.
    this is me too.

    i don't have much conflict in my life anymore because i take care to say what i mean (and if the other party misconstrues what i've said, then orangey's statement applies), or i erect my boundaries pretty quickly when i see i'm being drawn into a situation (discussion) that could result in conflict (if someone is speaking rudely or disrespectfully to me, i just say i don't like the way 'x' is speaking, and i don't want to talk about 'y' anymore right now tyvm).

    EDIT: i don't consider bantering back and forth on type c conflict, btw. i consider that fun. conflict to me is when something i've said has been misconstrued or misunderstood or when someone has gotten his feelings hurt. i really don't get my feelings hurt easily, and if i do, i take responsibility for them. i don't expect apologies, although they are welcomed.
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    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  4. #14
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Romantic relationship aside (Don't have one at the moment anyhow) unresolved conflicts don't bother me for the sake of it being unresolved.

    Although if the conflict is of such a nature that it keeps surfacing it's annoying and I may look for easy solutions.

    If the conflict is with someone I respect greatly I would feel sadness and start my best on resolving the issue.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  5. #15
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    If the conflict is with someone I respect greatly I would feel sadness and start my best on resolving the issue.
    Happened to me, I don't respect the guy any more and he knows it, I make sure of that. Revenge is not my thing, and options are always discussable, but cross my path and you can better hope we don't get invited to the same party again.

  6. #16
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I'm mostly interested in what happens with conflict between you and someone in your inner circle - SO or family or very close friends. And what do you do if your attempts to solve the situation don't work?

  7. #17
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Like I said, when it is someone important to me I will resolve it. And the way us INTP's resolve things is to sit down together and have a good long chat. And my god, we can chat for extremely long times in those situations.

    I will show unending patience and the will to try and relate and compromise in any acceptable and rational manner I can think off. And I'll be able to think of many, most likely.


    But I only show that to people really close to me, if you're not close you're screwed. :P
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  8. #18
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I'm mostly interested in what happens with conflict between you and someone in your inner circle - SO or family or very close friends. And what do you do if your attempts to solve the situation don't work?
    this makes me curious, fidelia. are you experiencing conflict with someone close to you right now?

    that's a bit tougher. since family or very close friends are people with whom you have to interact, at least on an occasional basis, it presents a different dynamic, doesn't it?

    i'm not a very good example i'm afaid. after years of my father (estj?) not really getting me (but loving me unconditionally nonetheless) and a mother (istj?) who tried everlastingly to control me and make me her puppet, down to a sister (isXp) who always degraded me because i liked to be in charge in some areas of my life ("jeez, calm down, you're gonna have a heart attack! god!" [when i was mearly minorly upset!]) i have to say by the time i was leaving for college (actually long before) i withdrew from them emotionally, and therefore, i became less and less available. i still have a soft spot for my sister even though we feel like exact opposites, but she's on the other side of the world so we don't really keep in touch.

    i guess my answer to conflict and family is just to take more than i can handle til i blow up in a yelling/cryfest, then withdraw. my family (parents/in-laws) came of age in the 50's and it's kinda like their way or no way. this pattern continued until i withdrew all the way to montana........and now i'm basically out of touch of all my family and in-laws and i actually honestly like it this way. they just never got me. if they got me, i didn't get the level of respect and acceptance i like. i can find that in my friends, so why bother?
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  9. #19
    Senior Member stigmatica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I'm mostly interested in what happens with conflict between you and someone in your inner circle - SO or family or very close friends. And what do you do if your attempts to solve the situation don't work?
    They ALWAYS work - else they wouldn't be in the circle in the first place. That said, I never let things sit unresolved (to a fault, maybe). If I detect an issue, I want it out in the open and discussed immediately, while others in my circle would prefer to pretend nothing is wrong until everyone forgets. Where I see it as discussion, others see it as argument and label it as bad. Pffft! Besides, I'm always right - lol

  10. #20
    HAHHAHHAH! INTJ123's Avatar
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    confront it head on. No fear baby.

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