[INTJ] How many of you would like to see INTJ in tears ?

[Usehername]

Truthfully an INTJ crying doesn't seem far fetched to me. But I've been close to INTJs so ive seen deeply internal feelings from them.

This. I have a serious thing about keeping private moments private, but in reasonable circumstances I have no problem with people knowing that I cried.

Also, there's been other threads on this forum about how as females it's far more socially appropriate to cry than it is to express anger.
And many NT females noted that they have cried in front of others when they were angry. (Myself included.)

 

[Wiley45]

What I appreciate are moments where people express their feelings genuinely, in whatever form it takes.

I have been honored to hear my INTJ friends speak candidly (though only momentarily) about deep inner feelings, and that's more than satisfactory to me, considering their typical mode of operation...

 

[sonata]

This. I have a serious thing about keeping private moments private, but in reasonable circumstances I have no problem with people knowing that I cried.

Also, there's been other threads on this forum about how as females it's far more socially appropriate to cry than it is to express anger.
And many NT females noted that they have cried in front of others when they were angry. (Myself included.)

Anger and crying are irritatingly linked for me as well. When I'm arguing with someone I care about, I'm afraid of losing my relationship with that person. If I'm arguing with someone that I'm not close to, or the topic is impersonal, it's just debate, not anger.

I don't cry often, and I've been criticized for not crying at 'appropriate' moments (funerals, etc.). I find a way to fix a problem, get around it, or decide I can live with it. However, there have been a few moments, when things were inevitably awful, in which I haven't been able to do that. People saw it, and I don't think they appreciated it in the way mentioned by the OP.

 

[lexiphanic]

What I appreciate are moments where people express their feelings genuinely, in whatever form it takes.

I have been honored to hear my INTJ friends speak candidly (though only momentarily) about deep inner feelings, and that's more than satisfactory to me, considering their typical mode of operation...

I've gone there with an INTJ, but I think it embarrassed him afterward so I wouldn't push for a similar situation.

 

[sonata]

I've gone there with an INTJ, but I think it embarrassed him afterward so I wouldn't push for a similar situation.

Yup. Probably did.

Personally, when I open up, I regret it. There's no "oh, yay, I released my inner feelings that I've been bottling up inside!" moment, like some would think.

 

[Kasper]

I don't really want to see anyone cry but if a NT did so in front of me I’d take it pretty seriously, it would be a sign they're under extreme stress and/or they trust me and are comfortable to do something that they probably find embarrassing in front of me.

Crying doesn't strengthen bonds, it's the letting someone in to see their inner feelings that can do that.

 

[Synapse]

i've seen intj's cry, why would i want to see such a display of emoticon use all over again.

at home this really did happen under high stress and when i turned around what was a promising deconstruction of the self ended as a resounding deconstruction of the intj.

 

[MonkeyGrass]

I've seen mine cry a total of three or four times in the nearly 8 years we've been together, and it makes me feel fiercely protective of him, honestly. He only does it if he has a really good reason, or if he's very moved. I do get the sense that he trusts me, but it's not something I look for. I'm over the whole wishing he would cry thing. There's something about seeing a fiercly independent, resourceful problem solver cry that just rips your heart out of your chest. It's hard seeing someone you love that out of their element.

Me? I cry (alone) all the time. I'm all teary thinking about this post.

 

[GargoylesLegacy]

So I am wondering how many of you have this kind of a relationship with your INTJ ?
Are situations like his/her crying strengthening bounds between you ?

Ah, now where is Scatty when I need her?
She could totally answer this with YES. In fact, she always encourages (ENFP) me to cry; but in the whole 7 months I have known her, I did it once only.

Oh and thanks Sonata. Same!

I don't cry often, and I've been criticized for not crying at 'appropriate' moments (funerals, etc.). I find a way to fix a problem, get around it, or decide I can live with it. However, there have been a few moments, when things were inevitably awful, in which I haven't been able to do that.

 

[INTPatricia]

INTJ tears-not!

How many of you would like to see INTJ in tears ?
If yes why yes ?


To me it looks like that alot of people in real life would like to see me crying while I am looking for emotional comfort/help in someone.
It is not that they hate me it is just that they would like to see this. Some of them have even said to me that they have a hard time imagining something like this.

I mean, alot of people are placing bets when I will finally explode.



So I am wondering how many of you have this kind of a relationship with your INTJ ?


Are situations like his/her crying strengthening bounds between you ?

Because I thought he was the only one strong enough to hear it, I recently left a crying, nervous breakdown message (a short one) on the cellphone message of an INTJ friend of mine citing the list of my life's problems. He called back and left a message about how I needed to "focus" which I did not return. (I was embarrassed). Later, he called to see how I was and I picked up...again, saying I was too embarrassed at my tears and breakdown to call back and we laughed. He started reminding me of what I had said, "nobody loves me, I lost my job, I had to move, ..." and I said, "What? You mean you don't regularly call random people leaving crying messages saying, "Nobody loves me?" We howled with laughter...I no longer regret this pathetic episode...which had previously made me hot with embarassment (such bad form for an intp) because we got such a huge, bonding laugh out of the image of him doing such a thing...

 

[INTJ123]

It's more amusing when someone with dignity gets embarrassed. Like the other week we played cards and the bet was loser sings "I'm a little teapot" (estj's idea). It's was me and another friend who lost and had to sing but everyone was specifically interested in ME, and laughing at me, lol but it wasn't that bad.

 

[songofcalamity]

No. I have seen them cry and it's absolutely scary.

But I would very much prefer to see an INTJ lose their composure. The contrast in the outward appearance they give off to others and the crazy retarded actions they do when they are alone amuses me so.

A few days ago, my INTJ sister did something completely amusing. She saw a lizard and she let out a scream. And the scream is hilarious, because she was trying to control herself, but her fear overcame her and so it was like a half-half scream and it sounded really funny. Oh and the actions that accompanied the scream was priceless too!

And this event with an INTJ male friend. I was standing there, all of a sudden, he pointed at a rubbish bin and said 'hey you' to the bin. And because it was totally on the spur kind of thing, I loled for a really long time. (Worse, while I was laughing, he acted cute infront of me, like it was the most natural thing for him)

 

[The Decline]

I wouldn't mind, but only if it serves to wake them up a bit, so to speak. I think INTJ's have trouble realizing that their actions may affect others' emotions, so it may take a reflection of that upon their own faculties for them to feel what others have been subjected to. But yeah, I can see how an INTJ emotional breakdown could be scary..

 

[MonkeyGrass]

I wouldn't...I've seen it a few times, and it's usually over something terribly sad that has no hope at all of being fixed. It's a terrible feeling I don't like repeating.

 

[Saslou]

I wouldn't...I've seen it a few times, and it's usually over something terribly sad that has no hope at all of being fixed. It's a terrible feeling I don't like repeating.

Totally agree.
When the tears come, then you know its the end.

 

[Antimony]

I would hug them if they cried.

No one can resist a hug me moi.

 

[Jack_Rabid]

I wouldn't mind, but only if it serves to wake them up a bit, so to speak. I think INTJ's have trouble realizing that their actions may affect others' emotions, so it may take a reflection of that upon their own faculties for them to feel what others have been subjected to. But yeah, I can see how an INTJ emotional breakdown could be scary..

I can assure you it's downright frightening..

However, others might consider that their emotions may affect the actions of an NT.. which is usually how I end up in tears...

 

[Eris]

I've had some feeler friends tell me they wanted to see me cry before. How could they wish for sadness on my part?!

Anywho, I wouldn't really want to see anyone cry - not unless I receive an enemy or something, in which, yes, I would like to see them squirm. I've only had had a few friends come crying to me before, but all of which were feelers (which usually catches me off-guard, seeing as how I'm not one to open up myself). I feel like it's easier to help feelers (at least the ones I know); I tend to rationalize their situation for them in order to give them optimism in knowing that they have options on what they can do to help themselves and/or use some comic wit to relieve the situation, both of which generally work most of the time. If an INTJ came crying to me, though, I don't know what I'd do, because I feel like whatever it was, it would be too bad of a situation to be using humor over and dire enough where rationalizing it would only clarify how helpless their situation is (plus, an INTJ probably would have rationalized it beforehand, anyways).

 

[Virtual ghost]

I've had some feeler friends tell me they wanted to see me cry before. How could they wish for sadness on my part?!

Well it is just that they probably have a hard time picturing this so they would like to see it. Plus as far as I know feelers consider crying in thier presence to be a sign of bonding and trust in many cases.
(people are free to correct me if I am wrong about this).

 

[SubjectA]

Well it is just that they probably have a hard time picturing this so they would like to see it. Plus as far as I know feelers consider crying in thier presence to be a sign of bonding and trust in many cases.
(people are free to correct me if I am wrong about this).

I find that very true. In fact a feeler I know hates it when I go off somewhere to cry alone. He thinks that I'm keeping secrets from him or something like that.