I remember when my mother died and my Dad (INTJ) couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and he looked at me at one point with such pain in his eyes and his voice strained, he said: "I want to cry, I feel it burning inside me but I just can't."
I think it would be pretty cruel to make a person in that situation feel badly because they weren't crying, he wanted the release of tears but couldn't attain it so why heap more stress on him by insinuating there's something wrong with him because of the way he's made?
There wasn't much I could do for him except protect his solitude.
Of all the people to see in tears, this one in particular(maybe just NTs), but it would crush me. To have someone who has such a thick skin cry, it means something hit them and hit them hard. It makes me tear up to think about it.
I'm an INTJ. When I cry it's after all preventative measures for it have been exhausted. I wasn't aware the reluctance to cry, or rather feeling that crying would be an embarrassment and unnatural, was such a die-hard INTJ trait. (I'm still relatively new to all this.) But it helps to make sense of my extreme aversion to outwardly expressing my emotions. Immediately after opening up I feel like an idiot. Always.
Don't make the INTJs cry. It sucks hardcore.
Last edited by silverlining; 08-05-2009 at 10:15 PM.
Well it is just that they probably have a hard time picturing this so they would like to see it. Plus as far as I know feelers consider crying in thier presence to be a sign of bonding and trust in many cases.
(people are free to correct me if I am wrong about this).
It's definitely true. I remember sharing with the feeler-in-question some sentiments about my grandfather's last loving words towards my grandmother before he passed away last year, and how I felt that I've never seen anyone love each other as much as they did. Although I didn't cry in front of her or anything about it, I could tell that she really appreciated the fact that I opened myself up more emotionally, especially since I hadn't really talked to anyone about my grandfather's death. Definitely a bonding moment.
"How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect." ~ Oscar Wilde - The picture of Dorian Gray