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  1. #21
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Truthfully an INTJ crying doesn't seem far fetched to me. But I've been close to INTJs so ive seen deeply internal feelings from them.
    This. I have a serious thing about keeping private moments private, but in reasonable circumstances I have no problem with people knowing that I cried.

    Also, there's been other threads on this forum about how as females it's far more socially appropriate to cry than it is to express anger.
    And many NT females noted that they have cried in front of others when they were angry. (Myself included.)
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  2. #22
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    What I appreciate are moments where people express their feelings genuinely, in whatever form it takes.

    I have been honored to hear my INTJ friends speak candidly (though only momentarily) about deep inner feelings, and that's more than satisfactory to me, considering their typical mode of operation...
    I-71%, N-80%, F-74%, P-96%

  3. #23
    Senior Member sonata's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    This. I have a serious thing about keeping private moments private, but in reasonable circumstances I have no problem with people knowing that I cried.

    Also, there's been other threads on this forum about how as females it's far more socially appropriate to cry than it is to express anger.
    And many NT females noted that they have cried in front of others when they were angry. (Myself included.)
    Anger and crying are irritatingly linked for me as well. When I'm arguing with someone I care about, I'm afraid of losing my relationship with that person. If I'm arguing with someone that I'm not close to, or the topic is impersonal, it's just debate, not anger.

    I don't cry often, and I've been criticized for not crying at 'appropriate' moments (funerals, etc.). I find a way to fix a problem, get around it, or decide I can live with it. However, there have been a few moments, when things were inevitably awful, in which I haven't been able to do that. People saw it, and I don't think they appreciated it in the way mentioned by the OP.

  4. #24
    Member lexiphanic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jewelchild View Post
    What I appreciate are moments where people express their feelings genuinely, in whatever form it takes.

    I have been honored to hear my INTJ friends speak candidly (though only momentarily) about deep inner feelings, and that's more than satisfactory to me, considering their typical mode of operation...
    I've gone there with an INTJ, but I think it embarrassed him afterward so I wouldn't push for a similar situation.

  5. #25
    Senior Member sonata's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lexiphanic View Post
    I've gone there with an INTJ, but I think it embarrassed him afterward so I wouldn't push for a similar situation.
    Yup. Probably did.

    Personally, when I open up, I regret it. There's no "oh, yay, I released my inner feelings that I've been bottling up inside!" moment, like some would think.

  6. #26
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    I don't really want to see anyone cry but if a NT did so in front of me Id take it pretty seriously, it would be a sign they're under extreme stress and/or they trust me and are comfortable to do something that they probably find embarrassing in front of me.

    Crying doesn't strengthen bonds, it's the letting someone in to see their inner feelings that can do that.

  7. #27
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    i've seen intj's cry, why would i want to see such a display of emoticon use all over again.

    at home this really did happen under high stress and when i turned around what was a promising deconstruction of the self ended as a resounding deconstruction of the intj.

  8. #28
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    I've seen mine cry a total of three or four times in the nearly 8 years we've been together, and it makes me feel fiercely protective of him, honestly. He only does it if he has a really good reason, or if he's very moved. I do get the sense that he trusts me, but it's not something I look for. I'm over the whole wishing he would cry thing. There's something about seeing a fiercly independent, resourceful problem solver cry that just rips your heart out of your chest. It's hard seeing someone you love that out of their element.

    Me? I cry (alone) all the time. I'm all teary thinking about this post.

  9. #29
    Kickin' Ass since 1984 GargoylesLegacy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    So I am wondering how many of you have this kind of a relationship with your INTJ ?
    Are situations like his/her crying strengthening bounds between you ?
    Ah, now where is Scatty when I need her?
    She could totally answer this with YES. In fact, she always encourages (ENFP) me to cry; but in the whole 7 months I have known her, I did it once only.

    Oh and thanks Sonata. Same!
    Quote Originally Posted by sonata View Post
    I don't cry often, and I've been criticized for not crying at 'appropriate' moments (funerals, etc.). I find a way to fix a problem, get around it, or decide I can live with it. However, there have been a few moments, when things were inevitably awful, in which I haven't been able to do that.
    Rule #1: Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole.

    Again, Demons I get, but people are just crazy.

    ESTP? o.O

  10. #30
    Member INTPatricia's Avatar
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    Default INTJ tears-not!

    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    How many of you would like to see INTJ in tears ?
    If yes why yes ?


    To me it looks like that alot of people in real life would like to see me crying while I am looking for emotional comfort/help in someone.
    It is not that they hate me it is just that they would like to see this. Some of them have even said to me that they have a hard time imagining something like this.

    I mean, alot of people are placing bets when I will finally explode.



    So I am wondering how many of you have this kind of a relationship with your INTJ ?


    Are situations like his/her crying strengthening bounds between you ?

    Because I thought he was the only one strong enough to hear it, I recently left a crying, nervous breakdown message (a short one) on the cellphone message of an INTJ friend of mine citing the list of my life's problems. He called back and left a message about how I needed to "focus" which I did not return. (I was embarrassed). Later, he called to see how I was and I picked up...again, saying I was too embarrassed at my tears and breakdown to call back and we laughed. He started reminding me of what I had said, "nobody loves me, I lost my job, I had to move, ..." and I said, "What? You mean you don't regularly call random people leaving crying messages saying, "Nobody loves me?" We howled with laughter...I no longer regret this pathetic episode...which had previously made me hot with embarassment (such bad form for an intp) because we got such a huge, bonding laugh out of the image of him doing such a thing...

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